A woman on a tv show asked another character, "How do you know it's her appendix?"

I told my wife he must have read about it in the back of a book.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaPerseid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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If you stink up another persons bathroom, you’re an asshole.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homosapien-male
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My 9 year old returns with another joke for you all!

What is the stupidest thing in the universe?

A black hole, because it's so dense!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valenshyne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: β€œNoah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”

Rather worried, Noah said β€œBut my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

β€œNo, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

β€œThen why another ark?” Asked Noah.

β€œI wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded β€œOkay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

β€œBut not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied β€œUh- okay my Lord.”

β€œOne more thing.” The Lord said unto him β€œit needs to have multiple levels.”

β€œAre you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: β€œI want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, do you have another blanket by you? I’m cold

Dad: Go stand in the corner son, it’s 90Β° over there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reedhubbert88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I did this in another sub and wanted to share it with you guys.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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You know, it seems like every time I kill a gnat, another one appears.

So, I guess you could say they're appearing at the drop of a gnat.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Falloutchief101
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?

Gluten Tag.

edit : i fucked up the title

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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What do you call it when a woman copies another’s boob job?

Identity theft.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shigekazo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."

The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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A man asked another man " would you like to go on a date ? "

He said it with a straight face

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jzzaym
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My date asked, "Do you have family in another country?"

"Yes," I replied, "unless they're in the ocean."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?

A hare transplant.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If a Youtuber collabs with another Youtuber than I guess you could call the video a...

co-vid

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Dad, will you tell another dad joke joke please?

Father last time, I said no!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!

I love you refrigerator!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never grab another person's facemask?

It's a 15 yard penalty and automatic 1st down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
i have a girlfriend from another nation? do you know where she's from?

my imagiNATION

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenkenthepro06
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When you make unintended puns in another subreddit. So I guess they were intended after all.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
"Cheer up, you could be a replacement stake in the ground for barbed wire to stretch upon," said one new joke to another.

"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
🚨︎ report
You guys want to hear another joke about butter?

Idk it's pretty long... I was thinking about shortening it!!!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GawdFro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title

'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, β€œI see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?”

I said, β€œWhy would I want two empty glasses?”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks β€œI wonder if she’s from Sweden” another friend says β€œmaybe Norway?” My final friend asks β€œdo you thinks she’s Finnish?”

I boastfully reply β€œI fucking hope not she’s only been on five minutes”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Suggs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"

The potato responds "I yam."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNefelivata
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Boss: "what's that?", Me: (with much enthusiasm) "it's a SPACE BAR!!!!!" *wets myself laughing*, Boss: "...................." *delivers withering look* "are you allowed to stick things on your laptop?", Me: *dies inside at another badly landed pun*
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumusGoose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What's it called when you're reeling in a fish you've just caught, and another one comes along and eats it?

Finterference

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/feathersoft
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Another one for the IT crowd (if you got this, you are old - sorry)
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obonecanolli
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: If you make another lame joke I’ll hit you with the neck of my guitar.

Dad: Is that a fret?

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tmarkcha117
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
You know how to change a peach in to another fruit?

Buy two of them, now you have a pair.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joeluther1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend lives in another city. Last night she texted me saying "I wish you were here; the rains are beautiful".

I replied with "So...you want me to c'monsoon?"

She hasn't replied yet.

Guess she stormed out.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srinivas-seshadri
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2016
🚨︎ report
My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?

Me: You can now that women got the vote.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rarmstro613
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Another cow joke, proudly brought to you by a six year old:

What do you call a cow that’s fallen asleep at a construction site?

A bulldozer.

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TitchyBeacher
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?

Secondairy.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feathers_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you eat a tiny bit of another person?

A cannibble.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrinceCheddar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"

The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xyon_Peculiar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A man asks another man to lend him $10 until next pay day. The second man says β€œsure, here you go. when’s next pay day?”

β€œI don’t know, you’re the one with a job”

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtanosIskandar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.

Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Pig that eats another Pig?

Hamibal Lecter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aarkarian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the NBA is opening another franchise in Miami?

It’s not the Heat... it’s the Humidity!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonix7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A man asked another man, β€œWhat’s the term for when you ask a question without expecting an answer?”

The other man didn’t answer because it was rhetorical.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcnicken1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sound moving away from you that is identical to another sound?

Its dopplerganger.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/detheriots
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A group of shepherds committed suicide last night. They heard the song β€œthere will never be another you.”
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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What do you call a cannon that eats another cannon

Cannonball

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuciusBunBoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Drew another puzzle for the weekend. Hope you like it! imgur.com/eCTKtZb
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call an otter living in another otter’s dam?

A squ-otter.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dens382
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Waiter: I see your glass is empty. Would you like another?

Dad: What would I do with two empty glasses?

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chateau512
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one wind turbine say to another when asked, β€œwhat kind of music do you like?”

β€œI’m a huge metal fan”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/irelaid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report

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