A woman on a tv show asked another character, "How do you know it's her appendix?"
I told my wife he must have read about it in the back of a book.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
If you stink up another persons bathroom, youβre an asshole.
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︎ Nov 03 2020
My 9 year old returns with another joke for you all!
What is the stupidest thing in the universe?
A black hole, because it's so dense!
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: βNoah, it is my wish that you build another ark.β
Rather worried, Noah said βBut my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?β
βNo, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.β Said the Lord.
βThen why another ark?β Asked Noah.
βI wish for this ark to only house fish.β The Lord replied.
A slightly confused Noah responded βOkay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.β
βBut not just any fish; only carp.β The Lord said unto him.
Noah, now more bemused, replied βUh- okay my Lord.β
βOne more thing.β The Lord said unto him βit needs to have multiple levels.β
βAre you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?β Noah pressed.
And God said:
βI want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.β
Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Son: Dad, do you have another blanket by you? Iβm cold
Dad: Go stand in the corner son, itβs 90Β° over there
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I did this in another sub and wanted to share it with you guys.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
You know, it seems like every time I kill a gnat, another one appears.
So, I guess you could say they're appearing at the drop of a gnat.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Did you know what did the Grrman Bread said to another German Bread after tapping on his shoulder ?
Gluten Tag.
edit : i fucked up the title
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︎ Jul 28 2020
What do you call it when a woman copies anotherβs boob job?
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︎ Aug 13 2020
A therapist was with a client when another client burst in and said, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep having a nightmare that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards."
The therapist looked at him calmly and said, "I'm with another client. I'll deal with you later."
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︎ Sep 04 2020
A man asked another man " would you like to go on a date ? "
He said it with a straight face
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︎ Jul 14 2020
My date asked, "Do you have family in another country?"
"Yes," I replied, "unless they're in the ocean."
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︎ Jul 24 2020
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?
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︎ Jun 15 2020
If a Youtuber collabs with another Youtuber than I guess you could call the video a...
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︎ Apr 18 2020
Dad, will you tell another dad joke joke please?
Father last time, I said no!
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︎ Jun 09 2020
It doesn't matter if you're black, white, old, young, tall, short or even if you're from another country. It's what's INSIDE that counts!
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︎ Apr 30 2020
Why should you never grab another person's facemask?
It's a 15 yard penalty and automatic 1st down.
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︎ May 18 2020
i have a girlfriend from another nation? do you know where she's from?
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︎ Apr 25 2020
When you make unintended puns in another subreddit. So I guess they were intended after all.
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︎ Feb 06 2020
"Cheer up, you could be a replacement stake in the ground for barbed wire to stretch upon," said one new joke to another.
"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.
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︎ Apr 09 2020
You guys want to hear another joke about butter?
Idk it's pretty long... I was thinking about shortening it!!!
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title
'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'
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︎ Mar 16 2020
We were eating dinner tonight, when my daughter said to me, βI see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?β
I said, βWhy would I want two empty glasses?β
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︎ Oct 16 2017
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks βI wonder if sheβs from Swedenβ another friend says βmaybe Norway?β My final friend asks βdo you thinks sheβs Finnish?β
I boastfully reply βI fucking hope not sheβs only been on five minutesβ
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︎ Dec 12 2019
One potato looks to another potato and says "Are you a sweet potato?"
The potato responds "I yam."
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︎ Aug 08 2019
Boss: "what's that?", Me: (with much enthusiasm) "it's a SPACE BAR!!!!!" *wets myself laughing*, Boss: "...................." *delivers withering look* "are you allowed to stick things on your laptop?", Me: *dies inside at another badly landed pun*
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︎ Nov 16 2018
What's it called when you're reeling in a fish you've just caught, and another one comes along and eats it?
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︎ Jan 25 2020
Another one for the IT crowd (if you got this, you are old - sorry)
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︎ Aug 10 2019
Son: If you make another lame joke Iβll hit you with the neck of my guitar.
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︎ Sep 18 2019
You know how to change a peach in to another fruit?
Buy two of them, now you have a pair.
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︎ Jul 22 2019
So a vowel saves another vowel's life. The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
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︎ Oct 21 2019
My girlfriend lives in another city. Last night she texted me saying "I wish you were here; the rains are beautiful".
I replied with "So...you want me to c'monsoon?"
She hasn't replied yet.
Guess she stormed out.
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︎ Jul 09 2016
My niece, currently living in another country, asked: Can you vote when you are abroad?
Me: You can now that women got the vote.
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Another cow joke, proudly brought to you by a six year old:
What do you call a cow thatβs fallen asleep at a construction site?
A bulldozer.
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︎ Dec 18 2018
What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
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︎ Sep 25 2019
What do you call it when you eat a tiny bit of another person?
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︎ Aug 25 2019
One turbine asked another, "what sort of music do you like?"
The other turbine replied, "I'm a big metal fan."
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︎ Aug 10 2019
A man asks another man to lend him $10 until next pay day. The second man says βsure, here you go. whenβs next pay day?β
βI donβt know, youβre the one with a jobβ
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︎ Dec 30 2018
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed. On your right side, is a sharp drop off and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse, but your horse is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get off the merry-go-round!
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︎ Apr 27 2019
What do you call a Pig that eats another Pig?
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︎ Jun 19 2019
Did you hear the NBA is opening another franchise in Miami?
Itβs not the Heat... itβs the Humidity!
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︎ Aug 17 2019
A man asked another man, βWhatβs the term for when you ask a question without expecting an answer?β
The other man didnβt answer because it was rhetorical.
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︎ Sep 01 2019
What do you call a sound moving away from you that is identical to another sound?
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︎ Jun 15 2019
A group of shepherds committed suicide last night. They heard the song βthere will never be another you.β
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︎ Apr 14 2019
What do you call a cannon that eats another cannon
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︎ Jul 13 2017
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︎ Nov 21 2015
What do you call an otter living in another otterβs dam?
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︎ Nov 22 2018
Waiter: I see your glass is empty. Would you like another?
Dad: What would I do with two empty glasses?
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︎ Jul 26 2019
What did one wind turbine say to another when asked, βwhat kind of music do you like?β
βIβm a huge metal fanβ
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︎ Aug 24 2019
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