Why would pirates always stay in water and never become landlovers?
Because of the jealous sea
Why do the sea birds petrels and albatross always fly over the oceans and never stand up on land.
Because they are pair of pelagic birds.
My wife started at me in shock and growled, “You’re shirtless and also covered in… oil?” I chuckled, “Well, you’re always saying I never glisten.” She screamed back...
“Listen! You never listen!”
whenever I buy potatoes my wife always makes sure I get Russets. I've never really paid attention to different types of potatoes before, but out of curiosity, I now check what kind of potatoes others by. and it's Russets
It's a very commentator
What has 4 letters, never has 5 letters and always has 6 letters?
Is correct.
My neighbor and I take turns mowing a small area of grass between our houses. I always say hi, but he never does, which is a shame...
We have a lot in common.
My family and friends always say when they call my house they're never sure if it's me or my teenage son answering.
It really confuses me, I never have that problem when I call the house.
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
I live near an atomic shelter and in my encounters with it, it never lied and always kept its word
Now that's what I call structural integrity
Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."
But that's just generally speaking.
I’ve always been disappointed Nike and Mountain Dew never did a collab
Just Dew It
I’ve never met this guy but he posts food puns on every single food picture I post and he’s such a treasure. I always look forward to his puns now.
I've never met this person IRL but every time I post a food picture, he adds a related pun and it always brightens my day.
My older bother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
I always wanted my dad to grow a beard and would try to get him to not shave in the mornings. As he began shaving, he would always promise me that he’d start growing a beard ‘tomorrow’, but he never did.
He was a bald faced liar.
My wife shouted, “You’re shirtless and also covered in oil?” I chuckled, “Well, you’re always saying I never glisten.”
“Listen! You never listen!”
What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, never has 5 letters, and always has six letters.
