A list of puns related to "Altare"
But... they have Mass.
An UNALTARED person.
I said “father wow, on Sunday’s at mass you always seemed so prude and self-righteous”
he said “oh, no, sorry that’s just my altar ego”.
Detective: Dear god
Officer: Yes most likely
It went off without a hitch
Patient: I can’t say that I do.
Therapist: Exactly. That’s one of them.
40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them it was going to be on the same day as his wedding - probably because of the extra game this year. If you’re interested, he’s looking for someone to take his place...It's at Sacred Heart Catholic church in Los Angeles at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.
Throw him into a deep friar.
We had dinner the other night before church. After we ate, he stood up, sighed, and said with a tired look, "maybe someone else will do the service tonight".
I replied with a smirk, "how about your altar ego?"
He got cold feet.
But nobody got it until the next day.
it had an organ transplant.
I am marrying the most incredible woman on October 2nd, She is my dream woman in some ways, and re-wrote what my dream woman is in others - some were ways that I did not know were options, so I didn't dream of a woman having it!
So I am writing my vows and I am writing a bit about how I love her and end it with:
"Even when we are apart for only a few hours, we tell each other how much we miss each other. Well today, I misses you."
Wedding is on October 2nd and I cannot wait to drop this beauty on everyone!
Because religion changes you.
A false profit.
.. It's my altar ego
He wasn’t ready for kermitment.
My Father-in-law has a special love for these and I’d like some ammo for our next family gathering.
🤣 What’s the holiest condiment?
>!Miracle Whip!!<
I'm getting married Saturday and I need some ideas for a great situational joke to play on my bride to be.
At my best man's wedding, when he was expected to say "I do", he paused. Then he ran over to the groomsmen, and we huddled up and whispered for a few moments. After a few nods he ran back to the altar and said "I do." It was a great way to break the formality and tension and went off great.
I want something similar. Something pseudo-wholesome( that's why I'm in r/Dadjokes!), that can break the tension and get a few chuckles. But not something uncouth, deviant, sexual, or terribly disruptive. Please help me out!
But I got nun
It’s his altar ego.
You might say they have a altar-native personality.
Gary Oldman
My grandmother was cremated and we were having a service to pay our respects. I was scared and didn't want to go up to the altar alone so my dad went with me.
We stood there, side by side, and stared in reverent silence at the small simple wooden box which was holding my grandmother's ashes. After a minute or so passed my father bowed slightly, leaning in with what I assumed would be words of wisdom and said, "your grandmother was a lot smaller than I remember."
I had to fight just not to bust out laughing in a room full of mourners.
I was told to cross post this here from an askreddit thread yesterday
...he had an altar ego.
He's my altar ego.
He decided to altar it.
Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...
...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.”
Apparently its his altar ego
They've got an altar ego.
Before a staff meeting, a coworker was talking about living in a renovated church with 15 other people. He said it's just like any other big house, they hang out, party, etc., then someone asked if they drink on the altar.
I said, "yeah, it's a great place to drink. You only need to bring water."
The wedding went off without a hitch!
Officer: The victims were found sacrificed on an altar made of antlers.
Detective: Dear God!
Officer: Most likely, yes…
It’s his altar ego
It's his altar ego.
It’s his altar ego.
It's his altar ego.
It's his altar ego.
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