A Prophet Puns

We completed a chapter in the book and he said "That's the end of times."

I wanted to know what he saw when he told us "It was time for division".

Since this is vital to my social welfare, maybe I could be a 501(c)(4)?

A cross

They were told by their hotel concierge that he always spoke the truth and could tell them their future, so, filled with curiousity, they went to see him. As they approached the hut, they noticed a terrible smell coming from inside but they pressed on.

The old man was sitting in a chair, with casts on both legs. "What do you want from me?" the prophet called out. The couple then realized the source of the foul smell... It was the old seers breath! "He must never brush his teeth," they both thought.

Undaunted, they replied, "oh wise prophet, we are newly married and were told that you could read our future!"

The prophet answered, "Oh yes. Just like my hands are rough and hard from my many years living on the land, and my legs are so weak that they've broken just by stepping into my hut, so shall your lives together be! Rough, hard, weak, and broken! Now be gone!"

With that, they returned to their hotel. The concierge asked them how their visit with the prophet was. They told him they were pretty dissapointed and felt like he wasn't all he was cracked up to be. The wife especially was unimpressed. "He was uncaring, weatherbeaten, weak, and his breath stunk too!!!"

The concierge answered...

"Well, I guess thats what you get from the SuperCallousedFragileMysticVexedWithHalitosis!"

Ba dump tsssss

The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."

Then the Catholic Church must be a non-profit organization!