A list of puns related to "Z test"
I said, βDo you like avocado?β
She said, βNo, I avenβt even passed me driving test yetβ
Doctor: I'm afraid you've tested positive for herpes.
Patient: I knew that one of these days I'd end up with a fungal infection.
Doctor: Actually, it's viral.
Patient: Yeah, but I got it from a fun gal.
Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.
Chemist 2 : takes litmus paper and dips it into the glass
Chemist 1 : You donβt trust me?
Chemist 2 : It was just a lye detector test.
How do you know if a man is ticklish? Just take 1 test-tickle.
I get being anti-homework but how can you be pro-tests?
What are tests ?
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
Youβll never pass the Touring Test ...
Nobody nose.
Also my boyfriend came up with this and I feel like this is so good I need to go take a pregnancy test to see if heβs about to be a dad.
A warning to be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and the police are out there checking on people. Tonight, I was at a friend's house for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many Jack Daniels and then went onto the Bailey's. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at my friend's house, and took the bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint at the top of the road where they were pulling over cars and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was on the bus, they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and Iβm not even sure where I got it from...
Now I call the other one Highlander
Iβve since changed the name to:
βLance Armstrongβs Testesβ
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
hi hungry im dad was the response no i said, mom just gave me the dna testing
Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
But I failed the vision test
During testing, the driver said he wanted to go 2,000 miles without changing the transmission.
The tank responded with "Sure, man."
so she gave them test tickles.
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Trouble is, it'll take forever to test.
....tested positive today
He tested positive for Coke!
Superintendent really wanted the students to get a Positive result in their upcoming tests.
It was trident tested
All offenses aside, Iβm originally from Britain and we make fun of the Irish ALL the time.
So an Irishman stumbles upon a genieβs lamp and says to himself βooh laddy what have we found here? I tink Iβll give it a rub to see if a genie appears!β
So he does, and lo, a puff of blue smoke comes pouring out of the spout, billows into the air and the genieβs form becomes solid. It speaks, βOh master of the lamp, I am your genie and I grant you three wishes.β
The Irishmanβs eyes are wide open with glee, his cheeks and nose red with fire, he shouts βtree wishes?! Thatβs just brilliant!β For me first wish, Iβll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs dry.β
The genie, eyes rolling, clicks his fingers and POOF a nice big bottle of whiskey appears before the Irishman. βWell I tink weβll have to put this to the test!β He snatches up the bottle, takes a long healthy swig, glug glug glug, and the bottle pops as he releases it from his lips, βAhhhhhhhh!!!β And to his amazement as soon as the liquid in the bottle settled, it gave a large burping βbulp!β, released a large bubble, and when the bubble popped the bottle was full again. βWELL IβLL BE! THATβS THE MOST INCREDIBLE TING!β
The genie, steadfastly unimpressed, reminded the Irishman βMaster, I will bring you fortune, splendor, reputation, treasures beyond any imagination. You have two wishes remaining. What would master want for a wish?β
The Irishman looks to the genie and says βoh tatβs easy! Iβll have two more of these!β
Because the scientists needed a test tickle to start.
Youβre Under-a-test
I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says itβs terminal.
Thankfully the tests came back negative and they're not my kids after all
I told him that President Trump gets tested every day!
Two test tickles
Theyβre testing to see if I have claustrophobia or not.
"Doctor,doctor" he says, "I keep thinking I'm a small city"
The doctor does some tests and says, "I'm sorry. You have town syndrome"
A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
Give her a test tickle.
A test-tickle!
Too bad it was my IQ test.
At the end, he stopped us outside the test centre.
"You know," I began, "alcohol really impairs someone's judgements..."
The lad's lip quivered, "But I'm not drunk, mister."
"No," I replied, "I am, and you've passed."
In case this is your first time here (I haven't posted in a while), I find jokes here and elsewhere on the internet (and now my friends have started sending me jokes), and I text them to my daughter. I then capture her reactions for those sweet, sweet internet points.
Thanks very much to the original joke submitters. You dads are alright. If you missed any of the previous episodes:
EDIT: Since this is blowing up, I may as well mention that the young lady in question just passed her driver's license test this morning! Everyone congratulate her!
Also, thanks for the gold.
Woman: Iβm here for a smear test
Dentist: oh thatβs next door!
So I did a few tests. Turns out I could never be.
After a test for my blood type came back as Cabern-A positive.
I decided to do a drop test with my friends on my iPhone 6s to see if the screen would break. It didnβt break so I said β I guess you could say that test was a 6s.β
Theyβre immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
βThis must be a mistake,β the man says. βIβve been here only 20 minutes!β
βNo mistake,β the doctor says. βItβs $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.β
I had one of them tested, and it was positive. Hope it's not terminal.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.