Every day I wake up and realize that my love for you is infinite, that I fall in love with you everyday all over again, that my love grows more intense.
....AGGG
These past 5 years with you was some of my best and worst times of my life... You were my best friend, my partner in crime, my fiancée. You cared for me so much, have done so much for me, and just wanted me to get better. I remember those days crying on your shoulder wanting to just feel normal during my darkest of times. You listened for as long as you could, until I started bringing you down.
We loved each other unconditionally but unfortunately we both had a lot of demons which eventually made our relationship extremely toxic. I simply did not deserve you, so I broke it off. I became someone I wasn't, and it's embarrassing. I didn't want to bring you down anymore. On the last day I saw you when I packed my bags I apologized and thanked you for all you have done for me. You put me back together when I was out of order. I will never forget what you have done for me.
Looking through my phone gallery one last time before I remove it clean is one of the hardest things I've done in a while... Seeing pictures of you caught off guard grocery shopping... Pictures of us at 4am studying for finals when we were still in school... Pictures of us on vacation... Videos of you dancing on the beach... I would do ANYTHING to have that back... But unfortunately that will never happen.
I love you so much. I just want you to be happy.
(meaning 2019) 🥺
I used to be overweight, depressed and angry. Then I found Bernie Sanders and everything has changed.
- I met my wife at a rally.
- I'm about to get my $100K+ in students loans paid off when Bernie is elected.
- I can't wait for free medical insurance and legalized pot.
- I even named my dog Jane after Bernie Sanders' wife!
We can do this!
Mine would have to be NHL 17 when I was buying gold players to trade into a set, spamming refresh looking for players under 500 coins when up popped the brand new Patty Kane card for 300 coins. I managed to win it and when I looked it up on the AH the cheapest one was 500k. Kaner’s my favourite player so even though I could’ve overhauled my entire team with the coin at the time I kept it on my line one for the rest of the year. No regrets.
I’d like to hear some positive stuff on this sub for a change, so what’s your story?
I’ve spent almost the entirety of the last year with a daily meditation practice. It started off as simply being conscious of my thoughts and allowing myself to be; in the moment. I had no guides no labels and no concept of what I was doing as far as spirituality was concerned. I simply did it. After a little while I started to use binaural beats and guided meditations. I started diving into spirituality more and more and my practice became a practice in itself. I dedicated time every day to doing this one thing because I believed that I needed to. I genuinely enjoyed meditating and I wanted to continue doing it. A little over a month ago maybe things started getting in the way. I stopped putting effort into it and I stopped putting value on it and the practice changed. Instead of 20 minutes a day it was five or even less. I felt like it was something I had to do, and really I still enjoyed doing it but I didn’t care about it when I was there. About a week ago I saw someone on this thread post about how they were dissatisfied with meditation. Someone in the comments replied to them, “if you want to stop then stop.” When I read this my heart sank and my body felt like it was shutting down. I was afraid of stopping meditation and I nearly had a panic attack from reading those words. I was afraid that I would become something that I used to be, I was afraid my awareness would drop and I would become something less than what I am now. I was afraid. But that very same day I didn’t meditate. It started as simply saying I really don’t have time for this I need to get up early I will do it tomorrow. And then tomorrow came and I did the same thing. I didn’t meditate but nothing had changed my mindset didn’t change who I am didn’t change, none of it. Everything I feared, none of it had happened. So I skipped again, and again, and here I stand today a week later with a new perspective on what I spent a year of my life doing and also how sometimes the things we love get away from us and it’s important to change your viewpoint to find a new appreciation for those things. Today I will start meditating again but not because I have to or because I feel like it will change me and make me into something better or worse than I already am. I’m going to meditate because I want to. I could never have said that if there wasn’t a period in my life where I didn’t want to and that’s why I stopped.
When I was religious, I thought I was a immortal soul inside a shell. Because of these I feel alienated from my body and from the world. Now that I am an Atheist I feel at peace with my body and a part of the world
I went NC a while back...the rage I felt inside was astoundingly bad. Like, once when nmom physically attacked me by backing me into the door and hitting me in the head I thought about retaliating by killing her or throwing her down the stairs. Yes, it got that bad. Genuinely dangerous. I hated her. I wanted her to drop dead.
Thankfully I never did anything back. It was hard to huddle down into a ball and take it each and every time without doing anything to stop it.
I no longer hate her, but I do think she's pathetic. The hate inside was destroying me. I wanted revenge, I wanted justice, I wanted something terrible to happen to her. It consumed me.
I can breathe much easier after NC. It's like I'm a different human. It's crazy.
I'm 23 years old, a senior in college and now no longer a part time employee at a Fortune 500 company. I worked there for 16 months, and honestly, I hated it.
Every day I counted the minutes on my computer screen. A lot of the time I left early, or wouldn't work, or did school work. On top of that I didn't care about the job and hated being there, and they could tell. Even if I thought I was playing it off well, they could tell. This led to a short meeting with my boss and supervisor, where I was told today would be my last day.
At first I freaked out, and granted, I'm still kinda freaking out. Honestly though, as I worked out my game plan in the coming months, I felt this weird sort of duality. I was embarrassed, ashamed, upset... But also excited and hopeful. There are so many things I have let slip... And so much of that went back to how actively my job made me feel down and negative.
There's a lot of curve balls that will happen in our lives, but it's up to us to still swing and hit a homer. (cheesy, I know)
I'm not going to let this be a negative thing in my life. I'm going to let this be a wake up call. Assess what led to my firing and make sure it never happens again. It also has lit a fire in me, this hunger that I feel I haven't felt in a long time...
That walk to my car was one of my worst, but I'm going to make it lead to one of my best.
Like a board on my office said, "It's not the problem that's the problem, it's how you're reacting to the problem that's the problem."
I'm in the first semester of my Junior year and I've never gotten anything lower than a B in a test or in a class. This year, I got a C on my first exam for a Gen Ed. As a perfectionist, I was absolutely horrified. It really ruined like two weeks of my life. But then, shockingly, life went on. It motivated me to really buckle down and work hard. Best of all, nothing really changed because I got a C. I've been so terrified of failing in college, and it was really refreshing to learn my parents wouldn't kill me, the sky wouldn't fall etc. I still want it to never happen again, but it's really been good for my attitude and mental health in general.
Okay, well its not that simple but hear me out. Over a year ago now, I had my first series of bad panic attacks. They came out of nowhere and instantly took over my life. It was as if all the colour was drained from my world, and I was left in a grey wasteland. I started believing that the only way out of this agony was suicide, my life was terrifying all of a sudden. I couldnt imagine a future where I was myself again, I thought my happiness was gone forever.
Fuck, it was a nightmare, as Im sure you all understand.
But after a long year and a half, Im finally learning how to live with it. Colour has come back into my world, and Ive come to learn that Im a lot tougher than I thought. Every now and then I think back to when I was imagining my future, and the endless suffering that I thought it would be, and realize that I was wrong. Happiness is a possibility, and my life isnt constant stress and suffering. If you told me that back then, I wouldnt have believed you in a million years.
So to all the people who cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, please trust me. I know you can't see it now, but it IS possible for you to get through this and bring the colour back into your life. Its going to take a lot of hard work and patience, but once youre on the other side, youll see that you can take on ANYTHING, and youll be a better person for it.
Anxiety and depression are terrifying and awful, but looking back on it now, I consider it a blessing. I now know more about myself as a person.
If anyone ever wants to talk more about this, please hit me up!
Then I heard my dad thinking “I hope he never finds out that his mom’s brutal murder was not really an intruder in the house. “
My journey since the break up and no contact was probably the craziest time of my life. I have so many posts about a particular ex on this subreddit progressively displaying how I felt about my ex, what I planned to do to get her back, and the whole story behind the break up.
This time, I got my closure, something I didn’t think I needed.
I’ve been trying techniques to try and get my ex talking to me again since we didn’t leave on good terms. None of them worked since she just left them on read. I figured I should just stop trying since I don’t want to spend my young life chasing after someone that made the biggest mistake in her life. Leaving me.
So I just went at it. I told her how I felt throughout the relationship, how she was the one I would’ve sold the world to, the one I would’ve made a million corny and cheesy romantic gestures to, the one I would’ve made her happy for the rest of her life. I told her that none of it was my fault any more. I’m done, 100%, loving her. Told her how I really felt about her new toxic co-dependent relationship and how I would have never treated her the way he has, but she missed out. She missed out on romantic dates, my famous speeches on making her feel better, my jokes, and my never ending love. She made the biggest mistake of her life and I hope one day she’ll regret not having a guy like me ever again. And I’m no longer upset or mad at her, and when we walk away from this whole situation, I’ll be the only one walking away feeling relieved. And she’ll be walking away with a grudge, angry, and still bitter.
That wasn’t something I was just saying to make her mad. I felt better once I said that. I was happy that I didn’t have to worry about if I could ever get her back and if she was the only one for me. I was happy that I said these things because after a long, crazy, life changing journey from the day we met to today, at the end I was happy and saying these things didn’t make me worry about what she might think.
Despite all that was said she sent a long angry text about her new boyfriend and I responded with “that isn’t he point, what you do with him and your scarily toxic, overly publicized, unhealthy relationship is not my business” and reiterated on the fact that she’ll regret leaving a guy like me.
Two minutes of typing followed by a minute of nothing and then a block. And I couldn’t be more happy that I got blocked because that means the door is shut and I no longer have to worry about her.
Through the
... keep reading on reddit ➡I had the first surgery in February of 2016...then I had complications which required another two surgeries... When this came out in 2017, I was so happy to be able to get my mind off things and escape to a different world while I was in a hospital bed; it was truly the help I needed. I'm now at home with my kids playing this game way more hours than I should be, because I will ever be grateful for the hours of help it provided me. Thank you Nintendo.
