Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
There's been a lot of people who aren't Dad's making Dad jokes on here recently. If you're not a Dad you shouldn't be making Dad Jokes.
My wife rang me at the pub and said, “If you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.
I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.
Never tell a Dad Joke if you're not a Dad
When visiting Hawaii, you're not allowed to laugh out loud.
Some people think it's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad.
"Son, you're not cut out to be a mime artist."
"Was it something I said?"
"YES!!"
PSA: It is inappropriate to make dad jokes if you’re not a dad.
Tired of online dating? You're not alone.
Oh, wait! Yes you are, that's why you are online dating.
If you're not a father but tell a dad joke...
Are you a faux pas?
(My 12 year old daughter came up with that!)
You're not allowed to eat teeth
"We're here to offer support, not to grill you," they said at my review meeting.
"Like a bra, not a braai"
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Based on true events. I had to stop myself from blurting that out.
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Thanks to u/rumbustiousben for reminding me that not everyone knows what a braai is - it's a barbecue in Afrikaans and commonly used as part of English by South Africans
You’re not going to offend anyone with jokes about legless cows.
My wife looked at me the other day and said “You’re not listening to anything I’ve said!”
I said to her “There are better ways to start a conversation.”
If you're not a part of a solution,
You're either a solid or a gas.
(Jimmy Carr)
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I replied, “Don’t call me son, you’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said...
“No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”
What to text when you're not going to be on time...
If you're LG+ you're not gay
Do not view if you're lactose intolerant.
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said "see you later, son". I said indignantly, "don't call me 'son', you're not my dad!"
... To which the lift attendant replied, "Maybe not, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
I hate that feeling after surgery when you're not sure if you're awake or asleep
or if you operated on the right patient.
YOU’RE NOT MY REAL LADDER!
"Attention passengers: I'd like to personally welcome you to my first day as a railway conductor. Not to worry though, you're in very capable hands...
I've been training for this."
You know what they say, “If you’re not handsome, at least be handy.”
Unfortunately for me, I’m neither.
“Babe you’re not giving me mushroom”
By the time you realize you're not in shape
it's too far to walk back.
Do you know the keyboard shortcut to help you not have to go the bathroom when you’re working or playing PC games?
You can tell the sex of ants by gently placing them on water. If they sink they are female, if not they're buoyant.
What do you call it when you're annoyed because you need food, but you're not full on hangry?
When you're brave and they're not in Biology class, you learn that...
Dissection is the better part of valor.
Love,
Kermit
"Hey I'm not paying you to sit around and do nothing" "Dad, you're not paying me at all"
"That's what I just said. I'm not paying you now get back to work"
So this morning my wife told me 'Honey you're not completely useless....'
'You can always serve as a bad example!!'
My wife yelled at me, “You’re not even listening, are you?!”
I shouted back, “That’s a weird way to start a conversation!”
When you’re not feeling well but you’re still cute
The way I see it, if you're going to make a pun, why not do it with some style?
https://preview.redd.it/c7zshy8qj7i21.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=6804378ed9c03928cb67594e38ff3a457089f4ac
Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things. It’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.
Dad: When you see cops walk by, make sure you’re not standing next to your best friend...
..They might arrest you for homie side.
When you're not religious but will always throw a party
It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
what do you make when you tell a dad joke even though you're not a dad?
"Son you're just not cut out to be a mime."
"Is it something I said?"
"Yes."
It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said ''see you later, son I said indignantly, ''don't call me 'son' you're not my dad!''
To which the lift attendant replied:
"Maybe not, but I brought you up
didn't l?"
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