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Every week, I’ve written a different theory hoping one will get noticed and I'd be offered an audition for the Game Theorist writing team. While brainstorming for this week, my husband was like "You should do a Pokémon theory, like if they were real, rank them on their ability to do a certain task." At the time, I thought the idea was silly because what task could I possibly rank them all on, but then it hit me, being trainable. The complete fundamentals of the Pokémon franchise tested by reality.
Now doing the whole Pokédex in one post would have been impossible because just the names themselves took up 40 pages so today we are only covering the Kanto Region. The rules are simple, the Pokémon as it's real life counterpart will need to be able do something on cue. This "something" though, can not be get food as that is more of an instinctual reaction than it is a response to the cue. Last thing, some Pokémon inspirations are so obscure I occasionally had to look into the animal family and make an executive calls based on what I found. If a Pokémon's outcome seems off to you please feel free to ask about it in the comments, I'm happy to discuss why I gave it the outcome I did.
Overall I'm genuinely surprised by what I found and I hope you all enjoy the theory. Feel free to scroll through and just look at your favorite Pokémon.
Kanto Region
Bulbasaur Family
- Bulbasaur- Type: Cane Toad, Trainable: No, Why: While there are videos/ reports of Cane toads being trained to come to food or sit, that's not enough to classify them as trainable because you’ll never get it to perform anything close to a move.
- Ivysaur- Type: Cane Toad, Trainable: No
- Venusaur- Type: Cane Toad, Trainable: No
Charmander Family
- Charmander- Type: Salamander, Trainable: No, Why: Similar to the Cane Toad, a Salamander can only be trained to come to food.
- Charmeleon- Type: Chameleon, Trainable: No, Why: Similar to the Salamander, the Chameleon can only be trained for food.
- Charizard- Type: Dragon, Trainable: Yes, Why: There’s a very famous How-To guide about this
Squirtle Family
- Squirtle-Type: Turtle, Trainable: Yes, Why: Turtles can be [taught to respond to words and sometimes perform simple actions](https://www.g
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
