Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
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︎ Mar 05 2021
If the end of the world happens, I want it to be hailing taxis.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Iβve just been voted the most secretive person in the whole world
I canβt tell you how much this means to me
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︎ Mar 06 2021
There are 2 types of people in this world: 1: People who can extrapolate information based off of incomplete data
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︎ Mar 11 2021
Whatβs the tallest building in the world?
The library because it has the most stories.
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︎ Feb 12 2021
My mother told me she was abandoning the family to go across the world and study yoga. I had only one thing to say to her:
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︎ Mar 15 2021
Paleontologists found the world's oldest toothbrush.
They believe it came from the Flossiraptor
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︎ Mar 14 2021
The World's Greatest Pun
A man wanted to do something nice for ten of his friends. So he wrote a pun for each one hoping it would cheer them up. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
Coronavirus is now all over the world
But China got it right off the bat.
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︎ Jan 04 2021
Did you hear the one about how llamas would cause the end of the world?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
What is the least spoken language in the world?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
There are two kinds of people in this world, those who spell it doughnut
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Have you heard about the evil group of men who control all the worldβs cheese?
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︎ Mar 02 2021
You know the animal that kills the most people in the world?
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︎ Mar 03 2021
First post here... the first world problems version of a STRAY ROCKET π
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︎ Feb 27 2021
Jewel thief with worlds worst stutter was jailed for 10 years yesterday...
A police spokesperson says it may take him up to 11 years to finish his sentence.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
In my opinion, beekeepers are the prettiest people in the world.
Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder
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︎ Feb 26 2021
"You got spat on, you big baby, it's not the end of the world!"
"That's not what I said. I said it was the alpaca lips!"
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︎ Mar 11 2021
The world tongue twister champion just got arrested.
I heard they're going to give him a really tough sentence...
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︎ Jan 23 2021
It's a small world Timmy
but I wouldn't want to paint it
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︎ Mar 11 2021
What is the world's greatest and most unsuspecting salad dressing?
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︎ Mar 09 2021
What do you call a world class athlete who injures their leg?
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︎ Mar 13 2021
I saw one of the world's most accomplished cows earlier today.....
She was outstanding in her field.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Whats the largest country in the world?
Ireland cause its always Dublin
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I think all World races should end in Europe
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.
Only one was like "Yemen"
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︎ Jan 11 2021
Did you hear about the optician who made the biggest pair of glasses in the world?
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︎ Jan 16 2021
In a dog eat dog world
every dog goes canineballistic
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︎ Feb 28 2021
There are three kinds of people in this world:
Those who can add; and,
Those who can't.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I got to meet the tallest man in the world last week.
I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
They say there are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
I think that's Booleshit.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
You know what's not right in this world?
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︎ Feb 10 2021
A guyβs Mom comes to visit him at his job at the aquarium where she finds him feeding a baby dolphin. She says look at you, you were smart. You could have had a real job, really done some good for the world. Her son snapped back,...
Hey, my job serves a youthful porpoise!
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︎ Feb 13 2021
I once entered the world kleptomaniac championships...
I took gold, silver and bronze.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Also USA=World
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︎ Nov 30 2020
My friends ask me why do I see the world with so much negativity.
I tell them that I am short-sighted.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
A new disease is sweeping the world. It's a type of nostril infection, very costly to test for
But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.
And as his secretary says...
No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
My son might not be the best roofer in the world
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What is the most valuable thing in the world?
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︎ Feb 16 2021
A guy on my street holds the world record for most concussions
He only lives a stone's throw away
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen
I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."
Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
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︎ Dec 28 2020
TIL my tv hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
There are 3 types of people in this world
Those who can count and those who can't
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︎ Jan 12 2021
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What is the least spoken language in the world?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
What is the least spoken language in the world?
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︎ Feb 22 2021
What is the least spoken language in the world?
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︎ Feb 10 2021
What is the least spoken language in the world?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
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