Winter and Summer Puns

A dog!

Luckily, seasons don't fear the rapper.

that way you won't take any fall damage.

Patio Furniture

I’ve never heard him complain

The Spring-colour.

What about the rest of the seasons—fall water, winter water, and summer water?

Over a double latte, the Greek mentions "We built the Parthenon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo."

"Aye, and it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices."

"But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics."

"Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces."

Knowing that he's about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: "Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!"

"Aye! True enough, but it was the Irish who got women involved."

They had three daughters named Winter, Spring, and Summer. The fourth was a son named Paul.

Trees spring, winter and summer in the woods too (Because they're stationery).

Donkey starts speaking to the horse, “So what do you do?”

“Oh in the summer I do racing and in the winter I do the showjumping.” says the horse.

Donkeys thinking, holy shit, this is a thoroughbred.

“What do you do?” Asks the horse.

All embarrassed the donkey says “oh... uh... well in the summer I give rides to kids at the beach”

They chat a bit more and arrange to go round the donkey's house for drinks next week. Donkey's thinking to himself he’s got to come up with some way to impress the thoroughbred. So he gets a picture of a Zebra, a nice frame and hangs it up.

Horse comes round and goes “Oh this is a nice house you’ve got, that’s a nice picture too”

Donkey says “Oh aye, that’s when I played for Juventus”

On bridges in Michigan, there are signs warning motorists of ice that forms over them during the winter months.

When I was a kid, I was riding in the car with my dad one hot summer day. my dad says, "boy is it hot..." as he pulls over on the bridge, unhooks his wristwatch and sticks it out the window. I ask, "what are you doing, dad?" And he says, "didn't you see the sign? 'Watch for ice on bridge'!"

He laughed for a good five minutes as he drove off.

Except for winter, summer and autumn...

Sitting at Breakfast today, the question came up: "what happens to bees in the winter, and how do they come back so fast in the summer?"

Skipping all the answers and cutting to the chase, I answer: "The bees die and come back as ZomBees". Lot's of groaning and laughing followed from everybody minus the gf.

I'm now single.

Meanwhile, when I came back home to visit family this summer, my parents were surprised by the amount of weight I lost, as I had gone from 275 pounds over the summer to 250 over the winter to 225 now. They'd just been back from Scotland, and right after they congratulated me on my weight loss, my father remarked that he had a gift to give me from their trip:

http://i.imgur.com/19Io48t.jpg

Really, Dad?

I saw this picture on the front page and had I had to send it to my dad. This is his e-mail response.

"Hey, Konceptz

Holiday greetings vary. Summer funny. Others try to spring a trap on the reader. Of course, that works best on people who will fall for anything. My Mom always told me that when I winter the mailbox to be careful for booby traps.

See son, I'm trying to look out for you. Hope you have a great Christmas!"

Quite dadstardly of him...

Me: dad, I need your credit card for $0.99 to buy 20gb of iCloud storage for my phone.

Dad: shakes head in confusion You need what?

Me: I need $1 for iCloud storage...

Dad: I can see why you would need it in the summer, but it's winter and there are plenty of clouds in the sky...

Spring, Summer, Pumpkin, and Winter