Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
Little known fact: William Tell and his wife were really good bowlers.
Nobody knows for whom the Tells bowled.
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
Why do people keep saying Robert Downey Jr. is a girl?
I don't mean to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "
Who is William DeFoe’s arch enemy?
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie.
Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
Watt is the unit of power?
For those who don’t know what a power plant is
Dr William Archibald Spooner, the creator of spoonerisms was well known to be a smart fella.
Bill and Melinda Gates got divorced. Melinda got the house...
But Bill kept the Windows
I will become the next great god. The embodiment of Thor and Odin’s power.
William Shatner, Star Trek’s Captain Kirk, is said to be extremely disappointed after the collapse of his recently launched women’s underwear business...
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
I can tie my shoe laces just by using the power of my mind.
I bet you don't believe me...
I thought knot.
When is a nap considered a power nap?
When you feel recharged afterwards.
My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation
I really have to make it count
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years.
Generating all of our power from solar energy ....
... its not going to happen overnight!
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
Did you hear that Vanessa Williams got robbed the other day?
They need to stop Robin Williams
With great power
Comes great electricity bills
What is the best shape to catch a Power Ranger with?
A trapezord.
Alternatively, the best shape to catch a homeless crustacean doctor is a trapezoidburg.
I own a solar powered food maker.
It has recently been discovered that William Tell and his son belonged to a bowling league. But Swiss historians have not been able to determine the name of the league's sponsors.
We may never know for whom the Tells bowled.
What's your favorite Robin Williams movie?
Without a doubt, mine is Mrs. Fire.
After getting my first vaccine I asked the nurse what super power do I get, but she just looked straight through me.
Looks like I might have invisibility!
I was experimenting with the power grid of my house
The results were shocking
Why are gas powered cars part of the LGBT community?
They have a transmission.
What’s the difference between Taxes and Texas?
Taxes can keep your electrical grid operational.
I have the power to ejaculate a pretty good distance.
I’m surprised at how far I’ve come.
If I have a solar-powered phone, and I use it to make a call…
Ever since the power company shut off my electricity
I’ve been in a very dark place.
William Otis showed his son his evolutionary invention.
He said, "Son, this is a ground breaking creation."
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
I found pictures of Mt. Rushmore before it was carved
Its natural beauty was unpresidented
Did you know William Tell and his wife were bowlers?
Noone knows for whom the Tell's bowled.
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar.
With great power
Comes great electricity Bill
Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams walk into a bar
I own a solar powered food maker...
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