Wi Fi 6 Puns

Conversation with the daughter this morning. We are needing to go out and do some clothes shopping. Asked her if she's had breakfast, she looks at me with her phone in her hand and says "No, I've got no WiFi". "So, you need WiFi to have breakfast?".

Wi-Fi

He took the phone, and said, in the voice of Freddie Mercury, "Is this the wi-fi? Is this just fantasy?...Caught in a landline, we don't need AT&T.." and then passed the phone back. We already have AT&T, and I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND THAT DOES ACCOUNTING?, NOTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE CALLING OUR HOUSE. No more Crockpot broccoli and cheese soup using weed butter for him. Good god... I'm almost impressed. We also haven't had a landline in years. God bless this small dog weilding, vaping man.

A Wi-Fi thotspot

DEAR NEIGHBOUR: Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months & have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text, & I can't live with myself a minute longer without your knowing about this. The truth is that, when you're not around, I've been sharing your wife, day & night. In fact, probably much more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, & I know that that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt & hope you'll accept my sincere apology & forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage, & I'll pay you. Regards, Richard

NEIGHBOUR'S RESPONSE: Fred, feeling very angry & betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, & shot Richard, killing him. He went back home, shot his wife, poured himself a stiff drink & sat down on the sofa and calmed down. Fred then looked at his phone & discovered a 2nd text message from Richard.

2ND TEXT MESSAGE: Hi, Fred.
Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out & noticed that the darned Auto-Correct had changed "wi-fi" to "wife".
Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all.

Her name is Wi-Fi BTW

The computers and Wi-Fi went down at work yesterday so everything had to be done manually.

...........

Took me three hours to show the office what I was having for lunch!

Son: Dad, my computer can't find the WiFi printer anymore...

Me: I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password

Son: Why Bob Marley?

Me: Because it's always jammin

Son: God damn it

Tell my WiFi love her.

Because he was unable to connect with his Wi-Fi.

(I originally heard this joke as "Why was the IT guy sad?" "Because his Wi-Fi left him".

I ask you, which is better. Your answer should be neither, both are horrible.)

Wife: "I hate these underwires. I think I want to get a wire-less one next"

Me: "I can stop by Radioshack on my way home to pick you up one"

Wife: "What?"

Me: "Well I'm sure Victorias Secret doesn't carry WiFi bras."

Wife: Heavy sigh.

So today in my physiology lecture we were talking about muscles and we touched on connective tissue and our prof said something about "broad bands of connective tissue" and I turned to my friend next to me and go "If there's broad bands of connective tissue do you think there's Wi-Fi of connective tissue?". He just sighed and told me he was going to punch me before going back to writing his notes with a look of pure hatred on his face.

(I tried to contain my laughter to his reaction and ended up snorting really loudly like a minute later when I heard him snicker)

We (our family) were on vacation all this week, and we were discussing what room we'd try to book for the same place next year. My little sister argues that the main building would be the best option, because there's better WiFi reception-- more bandwidth. My dad replied:

"So fat musicians live there"?

Mom: sometimes the WiFi just turns off!

Dad: so she has ByeFi!

Me: groan

Wife: I'm looking for a wireless nursing bra. Help me find one.

Me: So you want something that comes with WiFi?

Wife: Go wait in the car...

I just arrived at my parent's house for a week long vacation and needed to know the WiFi password.

Me, yelling to mom who was in the kitchen: "Mom, what's the WiFi password?"

Mom: "It's written on a piece of paper by the computer!"

Me: "What?!"

Dad, sitting beside me on the couch: "The password is " itswrittenonapieceofpaperbythecomputer"... no spaces."

His WiFi sucks

I was at a friend's house, and he asked me to Google something for him. Not being online, I asked if I could join his Wi-Fi network. He said to connect to "guest network", and that the password I was "YouGuestIt".

My friend, his father, and I were all outside of their house, and I was trying to browse reddit. Reddit was being slow, so I said: "The WiFi sucks out here" In which case, my friend responded with: "Yeah, I need to get an outdoors hotspot" To which his father replied: "It was pretty hot outside today"

Facebook status: I have the best husband in the world

Comment #1: is this a frape?

Husband: No, she got a present from (soon to be born) baby Daniel.

Comment #2: has he got womb WiFi or something?

Husband: No, just womb service.