What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
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︎ Apr 26 2021
TIL the meaning when someone says "Break a leg."
They're hoping you're gonna be in a cast.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.
I wonder what sheβs up to now.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
What do you call it when you break a headstone?
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︎ Mar 03 2021
BREAKING NEWS: Scientists launch sneak attack on the periodic table.....
Add the element of surprise.
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︎ May 01 2021
I got attacked the other day by two guys when they threw a bottle of mayonnaise at me.
I was in so much shock all I could retaliate with was "what the Hellmann's"
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︎ May 10 2021
My friend and I were having a conversation on a hot summer day but when the A/C brokeβ¦
our conversation turned into a heated conversation
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︎ May 01 2021
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
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︎ May 01 2021
What happens when you break the 4th wall?
The ceiling will fall and crush you.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
In honor of Motherβs Day, Iβd just like to say,
βthank you for your cervix.β
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︎ May 09 2021
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
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︎ May 05 2021
Breaking News: Archaeologists believe that they've uncovered a cache of pencils that belonged to William Shakespeare. A spokesperson for the dig said they're so badly chewed on the ends,
we can't tell if they're 2B or not 2B.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
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︎ May 03 2021
So I'm listening to music the other day when my wife comes home.
She asks, "Are you listening to Milli Vanilli?"
I said "Girl, you know it's truuuuuue!"
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︎ Apr 13 2021
One day, my friend started falling randomly. But when he took his footwear off, he was fine!
Turns out he was wearing slippers.
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︎ Apr 06 2021
Why do people say "we're running late " even when they're not running?
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︎ May 15 2021
Being a parent is hard - my son won't ever let me have a good night's sleep; so when my wife came home the other day and asked why I was so red...
I told her I was just completely sunburnt
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Why do so many people break off addictions the day after Thanksgiving?
There's a lot of cold turkey to go around.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
When life sends you a lemon, squeeze the day.
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︎ Mar 18 2021
When can card games break the laws of thermodynamics?
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︎ Jan 11 2021
So I was at Chiliβs the other day and when a waiter came to take our order, I asked him to turn the heat up and when he asked why
I replied it seems a bit chilly in here. Iβm now banned at all Chiliβs restaurants in the USA
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︎ Mar 26 2021
A couple days ago I went for a walk beside a pasture and seen a lone cow when I went again today he wasn't there
I guess he got a promotion for being the only one outstanding in his field
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︎ Feb 28 2021
My wife texted me saying "Your great!". I responded, "No, you're great!" She said the text made her day when she got home.
I guess she really likes being corrected on her grammar.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Did you hear about the break-in at the Apple store?
The police are looking for iWitnesses.
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︎ May 08 2021
Who do you call when you break your toe?
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︎ Oct 10 2020
What happens when you annoy your friend Erin on St. Patrickβs Day?
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Why do you get 7 years of bad luck when you break a mirror?
So it gives you enough time to reflect on your mistake.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
There was a prison break
There was a prison break. I saw a midget climb up the fence.
As he jumped down her sneered at me and I thought, well that was a little condescending
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︎ May 11 2021
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
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︎ Mar 02 2021
I used to think that only sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Until I fell in a printing press.
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︎ May 11 2021
When quarantine messes up your plans...
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︎ May 07 2021
If a redhead suffers a psychotic break...
Is that considered a Ginger Snap???
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︎ Mar 24 2021
A lot of the jokes on this sub are just terrible, but at the end of the day...
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︎ Apr 20 2021
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
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︎ Mar 19 2021
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
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︎ Mar 12 2021
What happens when the vehicle carrying most of the Egyptian gods breaks down?
They have to pull over and wait for Anubis.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
What did the farmer say when all of his haystacks were stolen?
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︎ Apr 22 2021
BREAKING NEWS- Scientists have discovered sexual reproduction in bread
I guess you could say, bread baguette bread
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︎ Apr 28 2021
My girlfriend totally changed when she became a vegan
It's like I never knew herbivore.
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︎ Mar 25 2021
Today is the day I can post it
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︎ Mar 02 2021
If an ice cream van breaks down....
...do they have to put out cones ?
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︎ May 03 2021
My wife decided today would be a good day for her water to break.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
What happens when a frogβs car breaks down?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down ??
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︎ Jan 18 2021
What happens when a frog's car breaks?
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︎ Oct 15 2020
What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down?
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︎ Aug 21 2020
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