What do you say to a monkey with bananas in its ears?
Anything, because it can’t hear you.
I was having a glass of wine with my wife after a long day and I heard her say "I love you so much and always look forward to being with you at the end of the day. I don't know what I'd do without you." "Is that you or the wine talking?" I asked. She replied "It's me...
What do you say when your stationary bin starts moving?
What do you need to ride on when you say good bye to a king?
A bike. Because you say bye King.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
What do you say to a woman who has given birth to members of the military?
Thank you for your cervix.
What do you say to a French assassin?
What do you say when you cross the border between Sweden and Finland?
And across the Finnish line
What do you say if you are eating whilst doing yoga?
What do you say when you are going to drunk dial someone?
What do you say to the person getting breast reduction procedure?
I hope it takes the weight off your chest.
Do you know what someone says when they have no access to Swedish furniture stores?
What do you say of someone who envies a pudding?
What do you say when anxious ideas won't leave you alone?
What do you say to applaud the vermin that managed to escape the breakfast porridge?
What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?
What do you say when someone roasts a person with reddish-brown hair?
What do you say to an arachnid that worries too much about everything?
Please, don't be so dramatick!
What do you say to a police officer when he gets on your boat?
Police put on your life vest!
(This is a joke I made up at the age of 6 while on a boat!)
What do you say to a cow when its in the road
What do you say if you find a person trying to poison someone with celiacs disease
I’ve caught you bread handed
The Rock always say " Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?"
He is always cooking because he's always hungry for Samoa
What do you say when water boils and dies?
From my 8yr old: what do you say to a slow pig butcher?
What do you say to an astronaut looking for a car park
There's a spaceman .............
What do you say when your wife is so envious of your peanut butter obsession she wants to put it on herself in the bedroom?
What do you say to a math problem you are saving for tomorrow?
What do you say the second time you have Grey Poupon?
What do you say when Batman skips church?
What do you say when you see Bob Marley cooking?
What do you say to a teenager that woke up at 3:00 A.M?
What are you doing up so oily?
What do you say to an electrician that has no confidence?
What do you say to a vampire when he graduates? (and other monster jokes from a book I had)
Countdraculations.
What is 5m. tall, hairy and flies at 2,179 km/h?
A King Kongcorde.
What do witches use to know the hour?
A witch watch.
What do you call a chicken spirit?
A poultrygeist.
And one mine:
What do you call a house inhabited by a chicken spirit?
A hen-ted house.
What do you say to someone who has been on the moon when you feel bad about something?
>You Apollo-gize
(From my son today, he has improved astronomically over the past few years.)
Do you know what to say to get gold’s attention?
What do you say to the cashier when your credit card is denied at a convenience store?
“Sorry for the inconvenience.”
What do you say when you see / had seen a pirate version of saw holding a frozen buzzsaw on a piece of playground equipment?
I see/saw sea saw on a seesaw, with an icy saw
For all you folks living with diabetes... (My daughter and I both have type 1.) Here’s the joke — What do you say when the waitress at the Mexican restaurant asks you if you want sauce with your carne asada?
What do you say when your employee complains about his constipation?
A poor workman blames his stools.
What do you say to a constipated liar?
What do you say when you see a stunned ghost buster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
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