Sorry to hear your dad was hit by a boat in Venice.

Please accept my Gondolances.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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I went to see the famous "Iron Swordsmen of Venice" perform their street theatre.

But when I got there, the streets were empty with only a small sign saying that there would be no show today because it was the Ferrous Duelers' Day Off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyclopsRock
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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I was saddened to learn that my cousin was run over by a boat in Venice today.

I sent his family my Gondolences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyetalianman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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What is it called when Venice has a flood?

Canalbalism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IrishAnthem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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There were five kids from Venice Beach in the car, but unfortunately not one of them surf-vibed.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/austinearley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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As a Dutchy with the family having a vacation in Venice

Hey Son, look at those kids, only 4/6 years old and they already speak Italian!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChillTuup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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When we were in Venice, Italy we wanted to go to the Vivaldi museum

But after we paid for dinner we were baroque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crash_86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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So, I'm in Venice, Italy with my parents on vacation.

My mom tells us that according to studies, Venice sinks a little more every year. My dad then responds, "What's Venice sinking (said to sound like thinking) about?"

I lost it in front of many foreign tourists who probably thought I was mental.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnnyT723
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2015
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Venice

I am just getting back from dinner with my girlfriend and her dad. He was telling a story about how, back in the day, he and a friend of his were on a trip to Europe. I forget why, but they had an option to either go back home to the states or travel without their group for another two weeks. They decided to stay and travel and made a stop in Venice. While there, he and his friend had made it their goal to find and photograph a blind man.

Why?

"So I could show people a picture of a Venetian blind."

My girlfriend groaned audibly. I laughed uproariously.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fumantia_pardus
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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Walking in Venice

My family was walking in Venice and some guy approached my dad and said "Excuse me sir do you speak Italian?" Dad "No." Guy "Do you speak English?" Dad "No." Guy "Do you speak French then?" Dad "No." Guy "Then what language do you speak?" Dad "English" The guy gave up after that point. Once he left, my dad turned to me and said "That is a youism if there ever was one." I responded by saying "No dad I would have said we spoke Chinese."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wikipuff
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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My friend: Did you heard about the Italian man who died recently, he pasta way

Me: Thats very sad. Venice the funeral?

(Please excuse my poor english as it is not my first language)

Edit: I am not a dad, I am a 15 year old teen
Edit 2: Thank you u/Mnt2bdaddy for the wholesome award.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Madhur_Gupta_nerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What do you call a city full of blind people?

Can’t Seeattle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ccouffle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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What do you call an unvaccinated Italian?

Marco Polio

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PootisWarrior
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Lockdown conversation travel puns

Me: You really cannot say when the lockdown will end, KENYA?

She: yeah, this SPAIN hurts

Me: stay home and be safe, whats the RUSSIA?

She: I am bored, VENICE this gonna end?

Me: At least your savings is DUBLIN right?

She: I give up, IRAN out of travel puns now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/happy_watcher
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Some unexpected consequences of coronavirus..

So it's been almost 3 weeks since a lockdown was triggered in the UK and there have been quite a few knock on effects.. Some good and some bad which I want to share in this post.

Firstly one of my friends lost his job. He worked as a psychic.. Never saw it coming. Its been a difficult couple of weeks and he is now considering a complete career change...considering becoming a baker of all things.. But I suppose he really kneads the dough. I suggested he focus on photography, but nothing ever developed.

Another of my friends was also made redundant. He managed to get a Skype interview for a position in Tescos within a few days. The interviewer asked him: "what is your biggest weakness?", he replied "I don't know when to quit". The interviewer said "OK, your hired". He said "I quit".

Work has been busy for me but since I can't enjoy the things I usually do I have been looking for some new things to do around the house. It's been nice have the thyme to do more cooking. I randomly started a boat building business in my garage.. Sails have gone through the roof.

In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years I am now shouting at my parents for leaving the house. I suggested they take up scrabble to keep them occupied.. Turned out to be a bad idea from the word go.

It's been great hearing about how world pollution levels have been failling. I read the story about fish now being visible in the canals in Venice.. I hope that story isnt a load of pollocks! Cod, these were eely bad. Will stop carping on now!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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Dad, what's the difference between deer meat and gondolas?

One is venison and one is Venice, son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turbodeeznuts
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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Have you seen all the flooding down south from the hurricane?

Florence?! Looks more like Venice to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hahsakaa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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Dad on travelling

We were sitting up at the dinner table tonight, and my sister was over too. We started talking about travelling and she mentioned about how when she went to Venice, she didn't see many of the local Venicians, just lots of tourists. Dad went on to explain to us (with a big grin on his face) the reason you don't see many venetians is because most of them are blind...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hodgkinsonable
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
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So sorry to hear your uncle was hit by a boat in Venice.

Please accept my gondolances.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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What's venison?

No, Venice is in Italy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twin802
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2016
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