why do vain people use the self service isle at the supermarket?

Because they like checking themselves out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eli636
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2022
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There is always someone for you
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2022
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A two-star officer was so vain about how good he looked in the updated uniform...

...he ordered all flare guns to be loaded with an action figure in his likeness. That's right: the Very model of a modern major general.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conflateer
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
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I hummed a tune while plowing my wheat field this morning.

I was singing in the grain.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/k_woz1978
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2022
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You’re so vain.

You probably think this joke is about you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingi0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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My Half Horse friend is so vain

He always has to be the centaur of attention

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I find most 70s solo female artists extremely vain.

They are a bunch of pre madonnas.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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I hate all 1970s female solo singers because of how vain they are.

They are a bunch of pre-Madonnas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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My wife and I let astrology get between us.

It Taurus apart.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coop41321
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2022
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I would tell you a joke about veins, but I'm afraid it would be in vain.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeekleNKL
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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What does a vain woodworker with a lisp say to the mirror each morning?

I am in love with my shelf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneEyeGrommsh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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I tried to give blood today but couldnt

It was all in vain

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicolasGojiraCage
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2022
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Long time listener first time caller

Funny how we eat the devils eggs on the day the lord has risen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourMomsFartBox69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2022
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Star Let

This vain actress wins an award for rising talent. On the stage for her acceptance speech, she gets carried away and screams "I'm going to be the brightest star you will ever see!"

A voice from the audience: "you can't be Sirius"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodiusRex
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2022
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Did you hear about the blood transfusion?

It was all in vain

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
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Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.

So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?

We're all in vain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill

A cyclist is struggling up a long steep hill on his bike, when he is met by a good Samaritan in a car. The guy offers him a long rope to tow him up the hill and the cyclist gratefully accepts. By the time they get to the top of the hill, the guy driving forgets he is towing the cyclist and heads on to the highway, with the poor cyclist ringing his bell in vain. In the meantime, a couple see them drive past their car on the highway and the wife turns to her husband:

"Wow, that car's going pretty fast, isn't it?" The husband replies, "the car?! Look at the cyclist behind him! He's going so fast he's ringing the bell to get the car to move out of the way!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wildlumpfish
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Sad news.

At the Nestle factory today a member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him underneath...

He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted "The milky bars are on me" everyone cheered.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
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Dios Mios!

Son: Don't say the lord's name in vain!

Dad: I'm not saying it in vain... I'm saying it in Spanish!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shoopdahoop22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
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I dislike most 70’s female solo artists because they appear vain.

They are a bunch of pre Madonnas.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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All the 70s solo female artists seem extremely vain to me.

They are a bunch of pre Madonnas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Accident at nestle factory

sad news from the nestle factory today as a man was crushed to death by hundreds of boxes of chocolate. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he yelled "the milky bars are on me" people just cheered.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bertnod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2016
🚨︎ report

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