How do astronauts blow their nose?

Easy, it's snot rocket science.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTaxman_cometh
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get an astronaut’s baby to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ClaraLaraMeadie
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you organise a party in space?

Planet. And when the guests arrive, rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomecorearts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
How does an astronaut quiet a crying baby?

They rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bltproof
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce

He’s more of a Rocket Man.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvanEFC
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you put baby alien to sleep ?

You rocket !

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Reddit Obligations:

I don't have any original material at the moment, but the obligations are still there. So I present the following:

How do you get a baby satellite to sleep? You rocket!

Why was Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Eggs don't tell jokes because they always crack up.

What's a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he still won't come

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bross-Hog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Genin-Jenin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between SpaceX and a chicken?

One makes rocket boosters.

The other makes "bock" at roosters.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barrtender
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you put an astronaut to sleep?

You rocket!

Source of joke is none other than Siri!

https://i.imgur.com/q0n6T7p.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dhisum_dhisum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked why arugula tastes peppery

I explained glucosinolates to her, but pointed out that I’m not a rocket scientist.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eeldrop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Know the difference

Morning wood: An erection in the morning

Mourning Wood: Rocket Racoon in Avengers Infinity war and Endgame

Know the difference

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Squish-Mahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me, β€œDad, I couldn’t sign up for my astrophysics class. What should I do?”

Me: Find a replacement. It isn’t rocket science.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The astrophysics class I was planning to take filled up before I could sign up. Now I have to take something else.

It’s not Rocket Science.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
"I" before "E" except after "C".

It's not rocket science!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaimaso
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fusion between an RPG and a chair?

A rocket laun-chair

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wtf_was_that_bs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you stop a baby lettuce from crying?

Rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/surreyade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The most often joke at NASA

It is not a rocket science... oh, wait.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_i_like_potatoes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My friends an astronaut and plays in a band.

One day before his show I told him to rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/livingaslevi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw the Rocket on War Machine in new Endgame Trailer.

Love the new upgrade, the Rocket Launcher.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/happy_anand
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the car made out of a tree?

It has the biggest trunk I've ever seen.

( http://inhabitat.com/the-unusual-cedar-rocket-is-the-fastest-all-electric-log-car-in-the-world/ )

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pixiedonut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2016
🚨︎ report
The day my dad's dog died.

I was sitting in my room playing with my dog, his name is Buster. My dog was being hyper while getting used to his new home.

My dad walks in and starts telling me about when he was my age and got a new dog.

( Insert sad music from the world's smallest violin here )

Dad: "When I was your age, my dad got me a pooch. His name was Rocket. I got him when he was around 4 years old, so he was pretty big. One day, I was working on my dad's truck and had a bucket of old gas sitting next to me. Rocket was outside playing around, being himself and came up to me. I slid back under the truck and heard some gulping sounds. I look over and see Rocket drinking big gulps of the gasoline. I screamed at him," Rocket No! You don't drink that!" Then he backed up, stumbling. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, I knew something was wrong with him. He took off running around the house. He ran around the house 2-3 times. Then he just fell over.."

Me: "Dead!?"

Dad: "Nah, he just ran out of gas."

Fuck off, Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kurtcobain94
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
🚨︎ report
I hate when people get simple sayings wrong.

I mean, it's not rocket surgery.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anarcist69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
[REQUEST] Can Anyone help me come up with a punny spartan helmet name/description?

I want to rename an item I use in a video game to something clever. The helmet is a spartan helmet painted gold so anything witty would be nice! Thanks in advance!

I should probably add the item is a helmet and is cosmetic. The character weilds a rocket launcher and is from teamfortress to anyone familiar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ifailftw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Dropped this one on my girlfriend today.

(while christmas shopping at the mall)

Me: "Did you hear the military is developing a new rocket launcher that mounts on soldier's feet?"

Her: "No. Really?"

Me: "Yep, they're calling it the missile toe."

Her: "I hate you."

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Agnostalypse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
🚨︎ report
Night Porter at work with my favourite dadjoke of all time

Receptionist at work had gone to get a glass of water from the bar. As she came around the corner stephen(the night Porter) was coming around at the same time. Startled, she said "oh jesus!" And without missing a beat he said "no, Stephen" and carried on walking. My admiration of the man rocketed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/steezy1337
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Remembered this one from around New Years

Me and my dad were going to buy fireworks for new years. The line is pretty long, and it takes ages to deliver the fireworks, and I burst out:

"How hard can this be? It's not like it's rocket science!"

My dad wasn't the only one who laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmandk
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
🚨︎ report
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeHunt_004
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
How do astronaut parents soothe their baby to sleep?

They rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fordskis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's fast, loud and crunchy ?

A rocket chip

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?

...'cos he's a ROCKET MAN...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ipoointhepool
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep

Rocket!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shocky1987
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Elton John doesn’t like iceberg lettuce..

He’s more of a rocket man

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kah0303
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the astronaut get his baby to sleep?

He rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a baby alien to fall asleep?

You rocket

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JealousPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You Rocket

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CortanaToldMeThis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce?

β€˜Cause he’s more of a Rocket Man! πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nCRedditor-21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.