How do astronauts blow their nose?

Easy, it's snot rocket science.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheTaxman_cometh
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2021
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How do you get an astronaut’s baby to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ClaraLaraMeadie
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2021
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How do you organise a party in space?

Planet. And when the guests arrive, rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/awesomecorearts
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2021
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How does an astronaut quiet a crying baby?

They rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bltproof
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04 2021
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Elton John hates Iceberg Lettuce

He’s more of a Rocket Man.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EvanEFC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dont-runwithscissors
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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How do you put baby alien to sleep ?

You rocket !

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RedMusical
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
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Reddit Obligations:

I don't have any original material at the moment, but the obligations are still there. So I present the following:

How do you get a baby satellite to sleep? You rocket!

Why was Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Eggs don't tell jokes because they always crack up.

What's a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!

What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he still won't come

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bross-Hog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Genin-Jenin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2020
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What's the difference between SpaceX and a chicken?

One makes rocket boosters.

The other makes "bock" at roosters.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barrtender
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2020
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How do you put an astronaut to sleep?

You rocket!

Source of joke is none other than Siri!

https://i.imgur.com/q0n6T7p.jpg

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dhisum_dhisum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2020
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My daughter asked why arugula tastes peppery

I explained glucosinolates to her, but pointed out that I’m not a rocket scientist.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eeldrop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2020
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Know the difference

Morning wood: An erection in the morning

Mourning Wood: Rocket Racoon in Avengers Infinity war and Endgame

Know the difference

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Squish-Mahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2019
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My son asked me, β€œDad, I couldn’t sign up for my astrophysics class. What should I do?”

Me: Find a replacement. It isn’t rocket science.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2019
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
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The astrophysics class I was planning to take filled up before I could sign up. Now I have to take something else.

It’s not Rocket Science.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2019
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"I" before "E" except after "C".

It's not rocket science!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jaimaso
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2018
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What do you call a fusion between an RPG and a chair?

A rocket laun-chair

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wtf_was_that_bs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2019
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How do you stop a baby lettuce from crying?

Rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/surreyade
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2019
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The most often joke at NASA

It is not a rocket science... oh, wait.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_i_like_potatoes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2019
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My friends an astronaut and plays in a band.

One day before his show I told him to rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/livingaslevi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2019
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Saw the Rocket on War Machine in new Endgame Trailer.

Love the new upgrade, the Rocket Launcher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/happy_anand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
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Did you hear about the car made out of a tree?

It has the biggest trunk I've ever seen.

( http://inhabitat.com/the-unusual-cedar-rocket-is-the-fastest-all-electric-log-car-in-the-world/ )

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pixiedonut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2016
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The day my dad's dog died.

I was sitting in my room playing with my dog, his name is Buster. My dog was being hyper while getting used to his new home.

My dad walks in and starts telling me about when he was my age and got a new dog.

( Insert sad music from the world's smallest violin here )

Dad: "When I was your age, my dad got me a pooch. His name was Rocket. I got him when he was around 4 years old, so he was pretty big. One day, I was working on my dad's truck and had a bucket of old gas sitting next to me. Rocket was outside playing around, being himself and came up to me. I slid back under the truck and heard some gulping sounds. I look over and see Rocket drinking big gulps of the gasoline. I screamed at him," Rocket No! You don't drink that!" Then he backed up, stumbling. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, I knew something was wrong with him. He took off running around the house. He ran around the house 2-3 times. Then he just fell over.."

Me: "Dead!?"

Dad: "Nah, he just ran out of gas."

Fuck off, Dad.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kurtcobain94
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2015
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I hate when people get simple sayings wrong.

I mean, it's not rocket surgery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anarcist69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2017
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[REQUEST] Can Anyone help me come up with a punny spartan helmet name/description?

I want to rename an item I use in a video game to something clever. The helmet is a spartan helmet painted gold so anything witty would be nice! Thanks in advance!

I should probably add the item is a helmet and is cosmetic. The character weilds a rocket launcher and is from teamfortress to anyone familiar.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ifailftw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2013
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Dropped this one on my girlfriend today.

(while christmas shopping at the mall)

Me: "Did you hear the military is developing a new rocket launcher that mounts on soldier's feet?"

Her: "No. Really?"

Me: "Yep, they're calling it the missile toe."

Her: "I hate you."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Agnostalypse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2013
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Night Porter at work with my favourite dadjoke of all time

Receptionist at work had gone to get a glass of water from the bar. As she came around the corner stephen(the night Porter) was coming around at the same time. Startled, she said "oh jesus!" And without missing a beat he said "no, Stephen" and carried on walking. My admiration of the man rocketed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/steezy1337
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2016
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Remembered this one from around New Years

Me and my dad were going to buy fireworks for new years. The line is pretty long, and it takes ages to deliver the fireworks, and I burst out:

"How hard can this be? It's not like it's rocket science!"

My dad wasn't the only one who laughed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bmandk
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2016
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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MikeHunt_004
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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How do astronaut parents soothe their baby to sleep?

They rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fordskis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
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What's fast, loud and crunchy ?

A rocket chip

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LunaticPandoraXIII
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2020
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Why does Elton John HATE lettuce?

...'cos he's a ROCKET MAN...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ipoointhepool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
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How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep

Rocket!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shocky1987
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2019
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How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
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Elton John doesn’t like iceberg lettuce..

He’s more of a rocket man

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kah0303
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
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How do you get a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2019
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How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 09 2019
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How did the astronaut get his baby to sleep?

He rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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How do you get a baby alien to fall asleep?

You rocket

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrumSpace
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04 2019
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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You rocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JealousPenguin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2019
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How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?

You Rocket

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CortanaToldMeThis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2019
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Why doesn’t Elton John like lettuce?

β€˜Cause he’s more of a Rocket Man! πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nCRedditor-21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2018
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