A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?
...cause those hips don’t lie
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
Why couldn't Biden see his Secretary of State?
The Secretary of State will be Biden's first confirmed Cabinet member.
After all, the Republicans can't say no to A. Blinken!
How much does the entire United States cost?
Nothing, because it's a free country
I'm dyslexic and I accidentally boarded the wrong method of public transportation.
Mike Pompeo is Secretary of State
Why did the Koala immigrate to the United States?
Because he wanted the right to bear arms.
What do you call a bee that is from the United States
What is a math teachers favourite mode of transport?
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
What is the favorite mode of transportation for accountants?
Did you ever hear about the police unit that had a drug duck instead of a dog?
It was excellent at detecting quack
A master woodworker needed transportation, so he built a motorcycle out of the best lumber in the workshop.
Breakfast, brought to you by the 7th Secretary General of the United Nations.
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?
What unit of measure do pirates use?
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
Watt is the unit of power?
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
Imagine a form of public transportation where there is no monetary fee but you relive past mistakes for as long as you are a passenger
My 8 year old sons joke today. What’s a girls favorite unit of measurement?
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland
The clandestine copying and distribution of literature banned by the state can be proven simply by comparing copies side by side.
Because that bit there is samizdat bit there
How do you call an army unit of babies?
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
The United States Postal Service got jokes
We need to add three more states to the United States of America
53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
What's The Name Of The Dutch Transport Minister?
Why are trains the best form of transportation?
Because they have a proven track record
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
My office space is a cubicle, president of the United States has an oval.
Someone has been cutting corners.
If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?
Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming “Mickey Mouse”!
When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked “Why did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said “I was trying to say Donald Duck!”
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
Which branch of military is the most patriotic in the United States?
The Air Force, because they're US AF.
What is the favorite mode of transportation for accountants?
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?
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