A porn star decided to open a pizza restaurant
Did you know R2D2 was the rudest character of the star wars series....
They bleeped out everything he said!
Who is the action star that is made of machine?
What was the name of Palpatine's special dish at the Star Wars themed restaurant??
90-Year-Old Star Treks to the Edge of the Cosmos (WSJ Frontpage)
Fans of the original Star Wars trilogy threatened to boycot episode 1 in theaters.
It was a huge fandom menace.
Just for star wars people... what's the normal temperature of a tauntaun?
In the next Star Wars movie, the Sith will be led by clones of the princess.
It will be a multi-Leia-ed story.
What’s the internal temperature of a TawnTawn on Hoth ? (Star Wars)
TIL Lambchop is a 3-star General in the Marines.
That makes her a Ewe-tenant General.
Did you know Dune and Star Wars are filmed on the same planet.?
At couples therapy, the husband said, "I can't take it. She is always referencing Star Wars. I'm leaving".
His wife looked at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one."
TIL that the Ancient Romans had four types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III instantly killed the victim upon contact.
Poison IV, though, just made the victim extremely itchy.
How do you measure the magnitude of the pun in a dad joke?
With a sighsmograph
Edit: Wow, you guys, Thank-you the the awards and upvotes. If only my family appreciated this joke as much as you do!
My friends and I were at Disney world and wanted to eat somewhere, and one of them suggested Star Wars
But that was in a Galaxy Far Far Away
What is the capital of Poland?
Who’s the most popular country music singer in Star Wars?
Lord of the Rings (Background sets not included)
What is the opposite of telekinesis?
We should have been able to predict the fall of the Soviet Union a lot sooner.
There were a lot of red flags.
Where do trees go to look at the stars?
They go to…
The plantetarium
Courtesy of my son. I’m so proud.
So I hired this dude to count people in the Bible for me. How many Noah's are there. How many Moseses. That sort of thing. Well, today, he stopped about halfway through. I'm sad to say that I had to let him go.
I mean, he only had one Job.
What did Adam say to his GF on the 24th of December?
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
I'm sure he'll come around, eventually.
What language do people speak in the middle of the earth?
What do you call a piece of corn that joins the army?
I made a few batches of Synonym Rolls the other day.
They all came out looking different but they taste the same.
The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated.
Proving the earth is flat.
TIL the swordfish has no natural predators to be afraid of, except for...
...the penfish, which is thought to be mightier.
When I was a kid, I remember checking into a hotel with my parents. My dad asked the front desk clerk, “Is the porn disabled?”
The clerk said, “no it’s the regular kind, you sick-o”
My 5yo off the top of her head: Why did the Lego cross the road?
To get to the other block.
(a tear was shed)
I was standing naked in front of the mirror this morning and thought...
I'm going to get kicked out of this IKEA.
the morning of my bday my bf just looks over at me and goes “babe you dont look a day over 25”
Whatever I look for on the Web, I always find porn
What is the world coming to?
Did you know the actor who plays Kirk in the new Star Trek movies longs to live in a forest of evergreen trees?
One of the best gifts I got for Christmas this year is a whiteboard for my office.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Supplies!!
Edit: ooooo! Thanks for the awards! I appreciate it! =D
My son knocked a picture of himself off the shelf.
He looked devastated. I told him, "Don't worry about it, champ. Pick yourself up".
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
The army just bought millions of gallons of acid.
Their objective is to neutralize the enemy base
The quality of jokes on r/dadjokes...
is slipping. We're falling father and father down.
I went to a Star Wars-themed bubble tea party the other day...
...it was a real boba fête.
Every day, a doctor would go to the same bar and order a chestnut daiquiri. One day, the bartender ran out of chestnut and used hickory instead. The doctor came in, sipped it, and exclaimed, “Ew! What is this?!”. The bartender replied:
“That’s a hickory daiquiri, doc!”
Disney just announced a Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean crossover
I'm looking forward to seeing Arrgghh-2-D2.
At breakfast, my dad put a pineapple and a banana on the table and said, 'You have two options of fruits today -
I just learnt that Time Magazine’s 1938 ‘Man of the Year’ was Adolf Hitler
Damn, I did Nazi that one coming.
Bittersweet moment for me that this is my first dad joke ever but it’s on this topic!
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