I have no idea how fast light travels...

But, it gets here too early in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StoppingMusic21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Physics: Why can’t Catholics travel at light speed?

Because they have mass.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
PRO TIP: The biggest myth about travel is "packing light" - don't bother! Light is available from the sun and artificial sources worldwide.
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Diok22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My coworkers and I were discussing the future and faster than light travel.

One of them said, β€œAll we have to do is make ourselves massless and then we can do it.”

Another replied β€œBut how do we bring our luggage?”

At which point I chimed in, β€œYou pack light.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Newt24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is Dark spelled with a β€˜K’ and not a β€˜C’?

Because you can’t β€˜C’ in the dark

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call soup traveling at the speed of light

Fast food

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If a priest is travelling at the speed of light...

does he still have mass?

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The barman says, β€œSorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”

A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 274
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snrckrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t photons ever need help with their luggage?

They’re traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 90
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hardcoredad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he can assist with any luggage.

The photon replies, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”

πŸ‘︎ 207
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elusivblak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a photon able to go so fast?

It's traveling light!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel. "Need any help with your luggage sir?" asks the porter.

"No thanks " replies the photon. "I am travelling light."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Orion's Belt is a huge waist of space.

Terrible joke, only 3 stars.

Edit: I've been told there is a triple star system and a binary pair so it may be 6 star joke

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Memelord2131
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report
My boss was surprised that pc screens were delivered before headsets...

Me : "it's because light travels faster than sound"

I'm only 20 please help

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heey_its_Ben
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A photon walks into a hotel

The desk clerk says, "Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage? The photon replies, "No thank you, I'm traveling light."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the photon pack a suitcase?

He was traveling light

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shaystibelman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Some of the gem's of Steven Wright

The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."

1 Β  - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2Β Β  - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3Β Β  - Half the people you know are below average.

4Β Β  - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6 Β  - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7Β Β  - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 Β  - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.

9 Β  - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.

25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ksbalaji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Nissan pun not related to Liam

The year is 2045, space travel has finally gotten started.

As major companies scramble to come up with ways to capitalize on this new venture, Nissan decides to end its most popular light truck.

As the last one rolls off the line, they announce: "This is it, folks. This is the Final Frontier."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dolaandronas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Let me know if any of these make you laugh!
  1. What's a dentist's favorite time? Tooth-hurty!
  2. How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
  3. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
  4. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. Wow, it was tense!
  5. All my lamps are gone... and I couldn't be more de-lighted!
  6. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
  7. Chemists give the best advice, they've got all the solutions.
  8. A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”
  9. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
  10. I had to make these bad science jokes because all the good ones Argon.

Did any of them make you laugh? Don't tell me no pun in ten did!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrujaBean
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Here's one about the traveling photon...

A photon is going through airport security. A TSA agent asks if it's carrying any luggage.

The photon replies, "No, I'm traveling light."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoyoadrienne
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The Legend of Zorro and the Bacon Tree

So this is a bit long, sorry about that.

Zorro and his best bud the Lone Ranger were riding through the desert one day, I forget where they were heading to or where they had come from, but we can safely assume shenanigans of some kind were the driving force.

They have been travelling for most of the day and are starting to get tired. There has been a discussion about making camp for the night, but as things are they have agreed to continue riding for a while longer, till the sun starts to set. Away and off to the west the Lone Ranger spies a plant that seems to have large pink flowers that hang in strips with white stripes running the length of them.

"Zorro, what's that over there?" he asks.

Zorro turns in his saddle and raises his hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "Ah, it looks like a bacon tree, quite common in these parts. Let's ride on, there is a good place an hour from now to set up camp."

The two friends ride on and as the sun is beginning to descend the have stopped and are making camp. As Zorro begins to make a fire he says to the Lone Ranger, "You know, I quite fancy some pork. You ride back to that bacon tree and get some for supper, and I'll finish setting up camp here."

"No problem Zorro, I won't be long" replies the Ranger, jumping back into the saddle and returning the way they came.

Time passes, and the sun begins to get low in the sky. 'Odd', thinks Zorro 'he should be back by now.' Another hour passes and the shadows are growing longer. 'I might have to go investigate, it's not like him to take his time.' More time passes, and, just as Zorro has decided that he must go search for his friend in the dwindling light, he hears the sound of Silver's hooves. Looking into the gathering gloom he sees his friend riding towards him. As the Lone Ranger nears Zorro can see the Lone Ranger is injured, there are cuts and bruises and he has an arrow through his hat.

"What on earth happened, Lone Ranger? Did you make it to the Bacon tree?"

The Lone Ranger dismounts and sighs heavily.

"That weren't no Bacon tree, Zorro. That was an Hambush."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Some of My Favorites

What do you call two crows sitting on a branch? Attempted murder.

A photon walks into a hotel and goes to the desk to check in. The bellhop walks up and asks if he needs help with his luggage. The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

The Past, Present, and Future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Did you hear what happened to the man that was chilled to 0 degrees Kelvin? He was OK.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

What do you call Batman when he leaves church early? Christian Bale

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zimxur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do photons move faster than sound waves?

Because they’re traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Of course photons don't have mass...

...they are traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lmxbftw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2017
🚨︎ report
The Sun has such a small suitcase!

Apparently it's to travel light.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Miawe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2016
🚨︎ report
Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

πŸ‘︎ 344
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Light travels faster than sound.

That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
You know how light travels faster than sound?

That's why people look bright until they open their mouths.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't Catholics travel at light speed?

Because they have mass.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe it’s been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.

It feels like only yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
TSA : "...so where is your luggage?"

Photon: "...I don't have any, I'm travelling light."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Photon checks into a hotel. Bellhop asks, β€œDo you have any luggage?”

Photon replies, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
So a photon gets on a plane and the stewardess asks him if he has any luggage

And he says no, I'm traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xtrememudder89
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't the photon need help with its luggage?

Because it's travelling light

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeimosDeist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A photon walks up to the airline counter

and the lady says, "You have any bags to check?"

The photon says, "No. I'm traveling light."

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel...

The bellhop asks, "sir, do you have any luggage?" The photon respons, "No, I'm travelling light".

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1_h473_l337_5p34k
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A photon was at the airport, checking in for its flight. The agent asks it if it has any luggage.

The photon says, "No, I'm a light traveler"

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Banksy0726
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel

the bellhop asks β€œcan I help you with your luggage?”, the photon replies β€œno thanks, I’m traveling light”

πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supermegapixel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage...

But the photon say "Nah, I'm travelling light"

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EreNyn3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel

When the bellhop asks for its luggage, the photon says: "I don't have any, I'm travelling light".

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/125bench
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.

"No, I'm traveling light!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cats_n_things
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report

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