The elders sat in their sconces chittering over the forthcoming exercise. The eldest of the knight guild stepped out and went up to the podium. He touched the microphone and looked around at his fellow Scribbler elders. "Are there anymore objections that should be addressed?"
The elders each in turn shook their heads.
He looked out over the lowery floor. "Then send him in."
Two guards at the far door pulled levers and the doors swung open. A smooth skinned, newly hatched, knight walked across the stone floor, stopping in front of a smooth sheet of metal hanging from chains. He looked up over the metal at the eldest knight.
The eldest at the podium made eye contact and clapped his finger tips. "Sando Pheen?"
The young Scribbler bowed his head.
"Good good, Sando Pheen I am to understand you subscribed to the knights upon your first cycle, and have already gone through the halls of leadership. This correct?"
Sando Pheen lifted his head up. "Yes your hignesses."
The eldest looked around the sconces and back out at the young knight. "You have been selected for a mission. It is a high risk, top secret task. If you are caught or found, your mission will be denied for the sake of the colony. Is this acceptable?"
Sando Pheen nodded. "Yes. I accept for the colony."
"Good good." The eldest waved his hand toward the ceiling. Above, two guards walked the circular path with chains in hand. The smooth plate of metal turned, revealing a glyph to Sando Pheen.
The younger looked upon it, letting the designs imprint on his mind. He was going to take a hunting party of cat riders out into the misty halls. They will be given a special lance designed to inject a material into a squishy. The party is then to follow and document the affected squishy for the duration of the party's life. The syringe lance is to be disposed of in a designated Kawaroo forge. All largers are to be avoided.
Sando Pheen looked up at the eldest. "I understand. When shall I lead the hunt?"
The eldest put his mouth closer to the microphone. "Straight away."
---===*===---
Sando Pheen led the pack, riding upon a mottled pink and black tom. Four generations had ridden this cat, and it took riders well. He waved the lance, motioning his second to take a flanking position around the sides of the running squishies. He then waved the lance in a circular motion fo
... keep reading on reddit ➡Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Well then. This one took a little longer than expected to put together. But, I think you'll agree it was well worth it in the end... maybe... hopefully... something about a rule and a number I can't quite remember.
Bushmaster has helped edit on this one for the first time along side UnwaveringGrey. Let us pray I don't break his sanity too quickly.
As per usual though, sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
ko-fi For having more pretty pictures commissioned or possibly a book at some point.
Sapphire cover art by Uwnycorn
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Chapter 134 Drunken Escapade
Looking around, it would seem the natural endurance of most of the dragonettes had been mostly spent by now, and Tom had to admit it actually looked like it could be quite romantic to dance on dragon back on a fire lit night. ‘Go get her, tiger,’ he mused to himself as he put on Orinoco Flow, hoping to set the mood, so to speak. Not to mention, that was probably more up Unkai’s street. If nothing else, it should slow Jarix down a little. Even if Unkai probably didn’t have any qualms when Fengi fell over onto him, or needed ‘rescue’ from a precarious position.
It seemed to do the trick, as Fengi quickly set about figuring out some new dance moves for the calm song. Unkai was positively beaming as she leaned her head into him, dancing close and slow. While Jarix struggled to figure out what to do now, Tiguan just kept going on as if the music hadn't changed, with Ray very politely trying to get him to calm down, to little effect.
Tom watched them for a bit, feeling quite pleased with himself before someone tapped him on the shoulder. Jacky picked him up as he turned around, nuzzling him closely, not speaking as she slowly started almost waltzing while carrying him around.
“Is this like a traditional dance?” Tom questioned
... keep reading on reddit ➡They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
Feel free to give your own rankings in the comments :)
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Leper Messiah - honestly, this song still kicks ass, but every song on this album is damn near perfect. This just feels like the song that’s the least interesting imo. It’s main riff is still very strong, but it’s definitely the weakest of all the songs. But I have to say the chorus is catchy as fuck, and that bridge section with Kirk’s solo is fantastic.
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The Thing That Should Not Be - I’ve never been a big fan of Metallica’s heavier songs, and I have to say this is definitely weaker than songs like FWtBT and Sad but True. I still love the dark sounding riffs though, which perfectly fit with the theme of Cthulhu. Really it’s just personal taste, this song is phenomenal.
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Damage Inc. - I think from this point on there’s a noticeable increase in quality for me. Damage Inc. is the most brutal song on the album, after coming from that beautiful reverses intro. It’s the shortest song on the album, only around 4 minutes without the intro, and that main riff is one of Kirk’s absolute best contributions. Both the verses and choruses are catchy as all hell, with another great solo by Kirk. Overall, a fantastic classic thrash track.
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Orion - this is honestly such a shame that it’s this low, but that’s the difficulty with lists like this. Orion is Cliff Burton’s masterpiece, and is far and away the best of Metallica’s instrumentals. I cannot believe they wrote something like this when only in there early 20s, as every part of this track screams maturity. Both the development bass riff in the heavy section, the beautiful clean bass part in the second section, and that incredible bass solo are all brilliant, and Cliff’s absolute best contributions to the band ever. Plus Kirk’s solo on this track is one of my favourites on any Metallica song.
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Battery - this was once described as “Metal ahead of it’s time” which I think is very accurate. The brilliant galloping main riff, the fantastically dissonant and unexpected diads, and those brilliantly aggressive vocals throughout make an incredible verse, plus that chorus is one of the most unexpectedly catchy parts to any Metallica song. Kirk’s lead parts on on point here, and are as aggressive as anything he’s done. And that intro is one of the most beautiful things the band has put out, with 4 layers of harmony, it is the most fantastic opener they could have written for the album.
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Welcome Home (Sanitarium) - wow. So honestly, without the outdo sectio
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
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Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
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French/Finnish art
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Country/Canadian rap
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Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
Here we go again with the correct title this time... Whoops. Anywho, remember to thank the eternally patient editors, and let's enjoy whatever I managed to cook up today.
ko-fi For having more pretty pictures commissioned or possibly a book at some point.
Sapphire cover art by Uwnycorn
__________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 130: Fun and Games
Saph had seen many things in her lifetime. She had even seen dragon tug of war before too. It was rarely a boring sport, that was for sure. It had been years, and it was normally done on the sand of the arenas she used to compete in, so this should still be quite something. It was rare to be this close too. She had also seen it as part of the Royal Guard training when she had snuck in back in the day. Most of the keep dwellers here would never have seen something like this before though. And Tom certainly wouldn’t have. Looking over, she saw Jacky had decided to try and sit on his lap, which didn’t really work, but hey who was she to judge? What she wanted to see was Tom’s reaction as the rope went taut as a bowstring. Both dragons dug their front legs in deep, trying to backpedal.
Grevi was bigger than Jarix, there could be no doubt of that. Equally obvious was the fact that Jarix was off to a far more aggressive start. Having dug his front legs in, he started trying to yank Grevi off-balance, her low and wide stance thwarting his attempt to the evident annoyance of Jarix.
“They have done this before,” Saph went to herself as people started cheering for the two contestants. Thus far though, neither of them had even moved from their starting spots. It was clear Grevi was trying to tire out her opponent, Jarix seemingly also realizing this and changing tactics.
Saph did catch the curious expression on Grevi’s face before it turned to realization,
... keep reading on reddit ➡Bob
"That's what they're fighting about."
