I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Hello, this is just an insane theory. I have been rewatching TLK, and something struck me that could explain the life of Edward, Alfreds son.
In s1e7 Iseult performs a ritual to save the life of Edward, and she succeeds, which further bolsters the Wessex defence and recapture of their country. All through the episode it is imperative that Edward survives, or there will be no hope for Wessex to survive.
In s1e8 we find out that Uthreds son has died and has been buried. I know in the books the cause is said to have been a pebble, but in the show we are not given a reason. "Children are frail". We are led to believe that Uthreds son died due to the ritual that saved Edwards life.
And here comes my theory. Magic throughout the show is mostly based on placebo effects or coincidence, except this one ritual that Iseult performs. It is supposedly the only instance where magic could not have been explained by other means (coincidence or psychological).
My guess is, that Iseult swapped the true Edward with Uthreds son. Most likely Uthred would have been in on it.
I know that genetics are funny, but both Alfred and Aelswith had very dark hair, whereas Edwards hair is lighter in color, similar to Uthreds.
There are of course things that could indicate otherwise, like Uthreds display of emotions when finding his son buried, but he is a cunning one and perhaps it was done to play the part of a grieving father, knowing full well that his son was alive and well.
But that is it, just a far-fetched theory I wanted to share :D
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
Where ever you left it π€·ββοΈπ€
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
