Tidy (surname) Puns

She could take him to the court. She had.... concrete evidence

So a pal (f/34) had a second date with a guy that was supposed to be dinner at his flat. Beforehand, she mentions to him our girl code and that she'd get shit from me if she went without at least his second name and address. So she asks for it, and instant radio silence. She says, if that's not OK, they can get dinner at a place nearby. He eventually replies that they can meet up and have a coffee and chat. Alarm bells are ringing and she mentions something along the lines of being downgraded from dinner to coffee because she asked for his address, where she would be going anyway. He thinks it's really weird and insulting that she would ask for this beforehand. She tries to explain that's its just a very basic safety precaution and no judgement on him but at this point his reluctance is giving her alarm bells so they'll just leave it. Best of luck in his future endeavours etc. His retort is that 'someone must have seriously hurt her in the past' and he's not looking for that. He actually warns her how off-putting it is and that she probably shouldn't do it again in the future. She tells him she always asks and no one has ever had a problem with it in the past. She could tell he was gearing up to war and peace in response after that so just deleted and blocked.

Very proud of her but kinda gobsmacked that someone in this day and age could get soo uppity about this. I have literally taken a photo of a guys number plate before getting in his car to go on a date and they have laughed it off. They could be a serial killer or a mad rapist. I've said this to them in my experience most guys get it. This guy did not. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or something like it?

Edit: the plan was to meet her off the train and take her to his place.

I have found that a lot of men and their families (particularly if they are religious) are very insistent on women and step children changing their last names after marriage. In today's world, I feel this is completely unnecessary and robs people of their established identity. Those who wish to can do it, but it's not something that should be forced/expected. It is by NO MEANS a measure of how much someone loves another person and shouldn't be treated as such.

Edit: It seems like people don't understand the post at all. It's not about changing names after marriage being removed as a practice, it's about changing names after marriage not being forced/expected if the woman/child in question doesn't want to. People losing the plot all over.

Edit 2: A lot of people claiming people have a choice, this is reddit. Not reddit USA or reddit UK. Just because your country allows it doesn't mean there's tens upon tens of them that don't.

Edit 3: It's really shocking that the first world minority comprising of maybe 400 million in a population of 8 billion believe that if this is popular among them it's popular opinion. Well I shouldn't really be surprised tho.

I got married nearly 10 years ago and changed my surname to my husband's but I just can't get used to my new surname. I didn't realise how much of my original surname was part of my identity. I'm thinking of changing it back (hubby and family would be okay with this, so no issues there) but wasn't sure if it would make filling out forms in the future annoying or if there are any practical considerations to think about? Thanks!

Mobile post.

A bitch!

I cooked a beautiful dinner this evening for a guy that I recently started hanging out with. We watched a movie, had a couple of cocktails. Then, my best friend called (male) I thought they would get along great! So, I handed the phone over to him. After about 25 minutes, I wanted to say something pertaining to the conversation.

He swatted my hand away.

Stunned. I said; "don't slap my hand. It's my phone, and my friend. Would you mind putting it on speaker so I could join as well?"

Reluctantly rolling his eyes put it on speaker. 🚩

Finished the movie

Before he was about to leave, he asked me if he could stay, I politely said, maybe another time... We're just getting to know each other.

This is where his most jackhollery happens.

"Hey, before you leave would you mind helping me tidy up a bit?" He replied with, "ain't gon be no bitch for nobody" Again, absolutely stunned, I ask; "How does helping me tidy up make you a bitch?" He said, "Well, like I'm at your house, why would I have to clean?"

He didn't, and I don't care. Just get out of my house. The fucking audacity never ceases to amaze me

And not dating. Just a guy I've been hanging out with. So, not quite a friend.

EDIT: I was very clear while meeting him that I just wanted friends. And, by tidying up I mean throwing away rubbish and putting a couple of boxes away from me. That was it. No. He is never allowed over to this house again.

Edit: guy I HAD been hanging out with. Thanks u/markatroid

Edit: wow. This is so controversial! To explain why I asked him to take the rubbish out and move the boxes for me is because, I know how to do the dishes the way I like them done. The trash and boxes are heavy. He's a strong man why is it wrong I think he should contribute by helping with heavy stuff?

As far the friend phone Convo goes they're both punk rock guys and I like my friends opinion on people! And we don't live in the same state. Makes sense to me...

Used to go to school with a Bossman, which was pretty cool. And recently there was a boxing match between Wilder vs Fury, which together sounds like something from Clash of the Titans.

The first of which is Stefon Diggs, drafted by Minnesota in the 5th round of the 2015 draft. He quickly proved to be a draft steal for the Vikings, providing a 1-2 punch alongside Adam Thielen and became a franchise legend due to the Minneapolis Miracle. After being traded to Buffalo, he has earned back-to-back Pro Bowls in both years with the Bills.

The second active player is Quandre Diggs, drafted one round after Stefon by the Lions (Surprisingly though, they aren't related). Stuck in the perpetual quagmire of Detroit, in wasn't until he was traded to Seattle that he truly flourished. Providing an excellent replacement after the Earl Thomas flameout. While he hasn't been as good as Thomas was, he's still a very good player that the Seahawks defense sorely needs. He's even carved out a little niche as a ballhawk. Intercepting 13 passes over the past two-and-a-half seasons.

Finally, we have the most recent entry into the Diggs Echelon of Eliteness, Trevon Diggs. Trevon's burst onto the scene in a big way this year. If Quandre Diggs could be considered a ball hawk, than Trevon Diggs is a BALL EAGLE. Dude's brought back interceptions like it's the 80's all over again. Tying the Cowboys franchise record in interceptions and shattering all recent interception trends. Dude's on an absolute tear and you can't help but be impressed

So in summary, while Diggs may be a pretty rare last name for NFL players, the ones that do have that name have a pretty good track record

I asked him why, and he said because the customer is always right.

My daughter (17) came out as transgender a few years ago, and for her birthday this year we legally changed her first name to a feminine name of her choosing. My wife and I have always supported her and her transition, but my daughter seemed disappointed that her surname wasn’t also changed.

I am Icelandic-American, if if you don’t know, surnames are quite different than in other countries. One’s surname is their father’s first name + a suffix related to their gender. The son of Jökull would be Jökullson, and the daughter of Jökull would be Jökulldottir. When my American wife and I married, she took my last name, per American customs, and gave that same masculine surname to our daughter when she was born. All of us have the same masculine last name.

My daughter wishes to change her surname to “Jökull”dottir in order to align with her gender expression, as well as Icelandic naming customs. I hadn’t considered this for her, as we live in the United States and used the local customs. My wife and I are on the fence about changing her legal name again, as processes like this are very expensive and time-consuming in our state. I told her that her mother and I would be more than happy to help with the paperwork if she paid for the processing. Our daughter doesn’t accept our reasoning and claims we are only contributing to her existing dysphoria by not going through the process again.

She is very proud of her Icelandic heritage, and picked an Icelandic first name for her initial name change. While I understand her desire for the name change, I think that she is too focused on how her name would come across in Iceland, where we rarely visit, and should consider how it comes across in the United States if she goes through with this change.

Am I the asshole for making my transgender daughter pay for her own surname change?

The more I think about this stupid norm, the more irritated I become. It’s so normalised and embedded into society, to the point where people will look at you sideways if you choose to keep your own name. I also hate that keeping your own name is regarded as a radical act of feminism when in reality, it’s the most neutral thing you can do.

Not to mention, I like my name! It’s been my name my whole life, it’s part of my identity and it feels right. The thought of waking up one day and just being called something else doesn’t sit right with me at all.

On a sidenote, the practice of children taking their father’s name is beyond infuriating. So you’re telling me, a woman carries a living thing inside her body for NINE months, undergoes untold damage to her body during that period, suffers the most horrifying pain to bring the child into the world and somehow this is all surpassed by a man‘s task of * checks notes * having an orgasm?! Ridiculous.

I’m just so sick of it all tbh

Edit: to all the men lurking this sub so they can whinge about men’s rights and the evil nasty feminists: go outside and touch grass lol

I needed to organise few tool boxes and came across number of measuring tapes.. So I decided to keep one in each toolbox for good measure!..

I'm proud of that - not a dad but I feel I'm unlocking this level!..

Might sound silly, but I seem to always end up with a messy house. I’ll be motivated for a few weeks, but then I’ll inevitably lose motivation and my house gets messy again.

Anyone overcome this problem?

Edit: thanks so much for all of the kind tips. Reddit restores my faith in people sometimes :)

Hello everyone.

Me and my boyfriend recently rescued two cats from shelter and they are the sweetest creatures in the world as in they are super cuddly, but - I hate the mess they are making. Their hair is everywhere and they also spread pieces of cat litter almost over the whole flat (we keep them in the biggest room which is kitchen + living room). I'm very tidy person and perfectionist and I've always tried to make our flat as clean as possible, so this mess breaks my heart and I wish we'd never got them. I know I'm a horrible person and should think about my decision earlier, but it's too late for that so you don't have to tell me about it, I'd rather hear if there's someone else who felt the same way when he got cats and how he managed the situation.

Edit: Thanks everyone for your advices, there are many very good suggestions - I already started looking for litter mats and I'm considering other options too. Cats are not going to be rehomed nor taken back to the shelter and you don't have to worry about their comfort and happiness. Some of you honestly need to chill down - just because someone likes their home to be clean doesn't mean they're bad with animals or that they need a therapy.

Don’t click results if you’re based

View Poll

So this is a situation I never knew I'd end up in.

I (44) was living my happy suburban life, wife and two kids until it got upended a year ago. Turns out I have a 16 (then 15) year old daughter Athena from my ex-girlfriend, who never told me because she had major pre-natal depression and post-natal and then just never did until she got sick because she continued to struggle with guilt and depression. It was hard and took convincing from my wife but I forgave her.

The last year has been tough for my family and it breaks my heart that Athena had to see her mom like that in her last year. I was a momma's boy myself and seeing how much love and reverence that Athena has for her mom's memory makes me so proud and so happy she got such a fantastic mom that made up for me not being in her life. Thing is, Athena has my last name, her mom gave it to her and she wants to change it to her mom's surname.

Nearly three weeks ago she asked me if I'd pay for it (it's a little expensive), I gave her a hug and the money right away. I didn't think twice I just felt happy she trusted me enough to ask. My wife says I did the right thing and it'll let Athena and I grow closer. I think it has cause she's been FaceTiming me every night instead of once a week, she has been playing video games with her brothers and has gone shopping with my wife a few times.

Her grandparents phoned me this morning livid that I gave it to her cause she's filled the forms and made the payment. Her grandfather straight up called me an unthinking asshole. Apparently Athena had been wanting to change it before she ever even met me but her mom was saying no. Her grandparents told me of a discussion I had with her mom when we were dating on how moms do everything in a pregnancy so the kid should get the dad's surname since it's the least they give. Yeah, it was a weird way of thinking but I guess that it stuck with her? Apparently her mom made her promise not to change her surname because she didn't want to take any more away from me.

Now I'm feeling really torn, because on one hand, she just misses her mom and I just want to help her feel better but I violated a dying woman's wishes and I see why her grandparents are so upset about that because it was their daughter that died.

Looking for more idols like Keum (EPEX) and Han (Stray Kids) who use their last name as a stage name! (D.O, I.M and P.O do fit into this category but idols like Moonbin, Yanan and Handong don't since they're using their first name too)

Since I was little, I've always noticed my mum goes through all my things, including digging through my wardrobe, bin, and my laundry basket, under the guise of tidying up. She also occassionally opens letters or reads my documents.

She often does this in front of me and laughs when I tell her to stop, even if she's embarrassing me by commenting on how underwear that I've worn looks.

Does anyone else's parents do this? Is this normal?

My last name isn't great, but his is hilarious and horrible. I hate the patriarchal overtones of being passively passed from one man to another, like a sack of potatoes, but I'm not sure if any of the usual workarounds are going to be of much help to this complex conundrum...

1. He's a family namesake and actually quite attached to his amazingly unfortunate surname (though sweet and compromising in most other things).

2. His family is kind, welcoming, and pretty involved in our lives, so I think they might take it as a slight if I don't do the traditional thing and just take The Worst Name.

3. Any kind of hyphenation sounds incredibly clunky.

4. I can't think think of any workable mixture of the last names - and I have TRIED.

5. And while I'm not overly keen on my maiden name, it's my name, just like his name is his: why is it fair that only one of us has to 'leave' our old family to start a new one?

6. Finally, I can't just keep my maiden name as a middle name, because I already have two of those and they're sentimental. I just cannot deal with four first names (Jane Jean Jenny Doe Smith is a bridge too far for me)!

HELP. What would you do?

There's been no response from the consultant at all. We've met face to face last week during an awkward ward round but she didn't mention the email. She didn't refer to me by me name at all which was weird.

Thankfully, I've met with another consultant who is amazing, for an unrelated occupational health reason. She's like the only beacon of hope in an otherwise bleak department. I didn't even have to be the one to bring up the CS situation. She straight up asked whether I'm happy to continue with my current supervisor, and she pretty much handled everything from there.

I can't deny that there will be times when being stern won't cost me. But overall, since I've changed my outlook from "it's okay for seniors/colleagues to be unprofessional to me" to "I'm not taking shit from anyone" I've seen mostly good outcomes and my worklife happiness has improved drastically. I know we get it drilled into us that we should just keep things bottled up for the sake of the "MDT" or whatever the fuck, but the onus should be on everyone, not just junior doctors to be compassionate, friendly and professional. The way I see it, keeping things bottled up is how you become a bitter and resentful consultant in the first place.

Historically speaking, names with "son" are surnames. Such a name definitely should not be used for a girl unless you acknowledge that it has no significant meaning to your child.

(Braces for impact)

First of all, we understand that we are fully in our right to name our own child however we please and I have no intention to apologize for our decision.

My mom said he is "just old school" but she is standing by him. This isn't brought on by anything else, I have been making a strong effort to be a model son, husband and now father, especially as of late. I even made Thanksgiving dinner and invited the whole family over as a sign that I want us all to come together as adults. My dad and I have never got along but been mostly civil. It's complicated - but things have been good for the most part lately.

I wanted to repair whatever was broken and start new; I have actually been making these efforts for about 7 years. I'm really stunned that he's ditching us like this literally day 1 of my kid's life. We have been cautious with covid and asked for them to give us space for now until we are ready to introduce him to them - they complained they feel left out. This might be a reason for lashing out but... still. Suddenly not speaking to me basically excludes himself! What the... logic isn't really playing here. He exited a fb group chat I created where I was sharing photos and videos of our child. Assuming it could have been a mistake I invited him back to the chat. He left again. Very, very clearly left. By doing this he is essentially declining to even receive photos of my child.

One of things here is that by taking issue with my wife's name he is obviously making her feel rejected. Its's passing the border from rude to just plain mean. My wife and I have been blissfully married for 8 years. She's an excellent role model and going to be an incredible mother. I love her very, very much. Basically we have a healthy relationship that I am grateful for (knock on wood!) So his issue with her name is confusing.

I am looking for key sentences that I can use whenever it is I speak to him next to explain that this has hurt us - without causing any further conflict.

Yes, I'm serious. I made a bet with a friend and and I lost. It was one of those bets you make when you know you couldn't possibly lose. And yet here we are.

I don't share my current surname with anyone in my family, apart from my dad who is no longer in our lives. I need some cool surname suggestions!

Germany.

I just realized I know so many Latinos w/ "-son" as their first name, which strikes me as strange since they're all very English in origin and that very few people in the anglophone world have these names as first names. For example: Anderson, Davidson, Robertson, Adelson... etc. I've noticed Brasilians are the biggest offenders of this lol but I also see boricuas with the same naming pattern. What gives? Is this just the latest trend in names like Aiden, Jaden, Kaiden, etc. is in the US?

Nothing effeminate like Murphy or Jackson or Williams. And nothing girly like Robison or Mason or Lee.

Something only a man would have as a last name please. I like Smith, its pretty buff but I think its really common.

Do you think “Manly” as a surname would be too obvious? What about Steelrocks?

Don’t get me wrong, my family has great stories of enduring hardship and overcoming nearly insurmountable challenges on both sides, and I’m lucky enough to say that I’m proud of the heritage of both of my parents. But my mother’s maiden name is Rippingale and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel robbed of such a powerful surname

For starters, the raw power and tenacity that comes from the first and middle syllables, “ripping”. But then I’ve always associated the middle and last syllables, “-ingale”, with the nightingale bird. A creature that I’ve forever thought to be beautiful and graceful in every action

If it wouldn’t hurt my mum as much as I know it would, I’d legally change my surname to something that (to me) meant equal parts power and grace, which is pretty much the line I strive to walk in my life

Does anyone else have similar stories? I’d love to hear them

How do they translate into English?

I hope she takes him to court. She has concrete evidence.