There's a detective named Frederick Lee...

His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pig’s name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminal’s mask was animal themed, I said to them, β€œFred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the man”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megadecimal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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A lost dog strays into the jungle one day. From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, "Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I've never seen his kind before."

So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"

The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.

So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened.

The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".

So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.

The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.

But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!"

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Breaking Dad

After making my girlfriend laugh at a series of dumb jokes I menacingly declared: "I am the laughter."

"I am the one who knock knocks"

This is now her favorite thing.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themarknight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2016
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