But there were strings attached.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
I told him that I had fiddled with it
It was A minor error.
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling
Moozart .
One has strings and the other has strangs.
He quartet...
Hard to play.
My dad walks in and asks "If you khachaturian...
...what do you do with it?"
It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.
There's too much sax and violins
Edit: Thank you so much for the gold and silver
The team unearthed a layer of rock tessellations resembling a violin as viewed from behind.
As of yet they have no name for this strata variance.
"Son, violins is not the answer".
My wife plays violin and her first rehearsal with a new orchestra is near. She had access to an electronic copy of the music, but wondered whether the orchestra would distribute paper copies at the rehearsal. For orchestras, the section leaders decide when everyone's bows will be moving up vs. down and annotate the music accordingly. Copies of the annotated music are distributed to the players. As a trumpet player who's never needed that kind of annotation, I've always been able to use the originals.
Wife: "String players never play from the originals because we have bowings."
Me: "And wind players have Airbuses!"
Wife: "That joke was just plane awful."
I said to him, “Violin is not the answer.”
My dad and I were arguing whether we were gonna watch American Sniper or Into the Woods. I wanted to watch the former while he wanted to watch Into the Woods.
Eventually, he started to say how Into the Woods was a better musical than what I wanted to watch. I was kinda confused and then he just said,
"How is it not a musical if it's full of violins? Ahe..he..he"
And he smirked and chuckled to himself and I am so mad right now
Say that again. But slowly.
playing the worlds smallest violin
Because violins is never the answer.
So I had a great chain of old jokes today in my morning meeting.
I started with "I bought a violin from a one armed seller yesterday. He said he played it by ear".
As the meeting progressed, I realized I could chain additional jokes together. 10 minutes later I followed up with it, "That one armed violin seller... he has a sister named Katrina. She's missing a leg so she likes to call herself I-Lean". The room laughed and there were many people who said "that's kinda wrong".
Then I followed up with, "Well she's not as bad off as her dad. The dad's missing two legs. When he goes in the swimming pool, they call him Bob."
And then I finished with, "But he still likes to water ski. When he does, they call him Skip".
It's funny because it all chains together.
I told my wife about a recent story in /r/TalesFromTechSupport about a late-night alarm going off at work. She told me that at one of her previous employers, a turkey had flown through a window.
Her: I knew about it because I worked for the general counsel and she had to know about it.
Me: In case the turkey tried to sue?
Her: In case it was fowl play.
You may also enjoy A Previous Dialogue with My Wife
I'm a massage therapist in a spa. While working with a client, she mentioned she plays violin, works out regularly, and runs a successful business. Then:
Client: "I also like to do a lot of gardening."
Me: "Seems like you've got your hands in quite a few pots!"
She agreed then continued about how she enjoyed gardening. She finished speaking, then after 5 minutes of silence she yells, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I just got your joke about the pots!"
Best response to a dadjoke I've ever gotten.
They're fiddles. Violins is never the answer.
I was sitting in my room playing with my dog, his name is Buster. My dog was being hyper while getting used to his new home.
My dad walks in and starts telling me about when he was my age and got a new dog.
( Insert sad music from the world's smallest violin here )
Dad: "When I was your age, my dad got me a pooch. His name was Rocket. I got him when he was around 4 years old, so he was pretty big. One day, I was working on my dad's truck and had a bucket of old gas sitting next to me. Rocket was outside playing around, being himself and came up to me. I slid back under the truck and heard some gulping sounds. I look over and see Rocket drinking big gulps of the gasoline. I screamed at him," Rocket No! You don't drink that!" Then he backed up, stumbling. I felt my heart sink to my stomach, I knew something was wrong with him. He took off running around the house. He ran around the house 2-3 times. Then he just fell over.."
Me: "Dead!?"
Dad: "Nah, he just ran out of gas."
Fuck off, Dad.
So originally the club was named "Fiddle Club" but the students wanted to change the name. Basically, it's a club where you play musics with violins. Because I love puns, I'm asking you (redditors) to think of a creative, original, good pun-used title for the club. My 2 horrible puns are (that are never going to get picked) are: Fiddle Castro and What's with the violins (violence, violins hahaha).
Before the doctors put him under, he asked "Will I be able to play the violin after this surgery?"
The doctors said, "Of course."
He replies, "Good, because I couldn't play it before."
I don't feel good about all the sax and violins.
Dad: "My friend is doing a phd in violin studies." Me: "Oh a violin doctor? Yeah he'll get some good connections and be able to pull a few strings." Dad: "Yeah but only if he is a well-tuned doctor, and is able to work in harmony with others." Dad: "Only then will his treatment be sweet music to the ears."
My son asked his grandpa what charades is. Grandpa tried to describe it, then followed it up with an example. He began to pretend to play the violin, and asked my son to tell him what he was doing. My son's answer? "You're playing charades!"
Family and I were having a conversation at dinner last night. My sister was educating us about violin equipment prices and such.
Grandpa: Wait, so you're telling me violin bows can cost up to $15,000?
Sister: Yeah, they're really expensive!
Dad: Well I guess if you didn't have one, the music would sound like bowcrap.
That's the biggest violin I've ever seen!
"If you pick up the trumpet, tuning is one of the first things you learn to do. If you pick up the violin, it's the same deal. If you pick up the piano, you will then need to see a doctor because now you have a hernia."
I recently got an electric violin and an amp for my birthday and my sister in law was asking my mom how I liked it. Mom replied with, "She loves it, she's pretty amped about it."
I was in the other room giggling. So proud of her.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
