The Tunnel Puns

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.

Doc said it's Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

Fallopian Tubes

Don’t read too much into it.

Scientists call it "car-pool tunnel syndrome"

The hole family pitches in

I'm afraid of carpool tunnel

They said there was nothing interesting, just tiles and other cars. I said that's because the tunnel is "bored".

They didn't get it. I told them you have to dig deep for that one.

Eventually they got it, and told me to stop telling bad jokes. I wanted to see how low I could go.

He thought the work was boring.

It's not very interesting

It blew me away.

Because it was bored.

Had the 3 kids in the back of the car while we were on the freeway in the carpool lane. As we entered a tunnel I started screaming and as we exited the tunnel I stopped. The kids all stared at me and I very calmly explained that I had carpool tunnel syndrome. Lots of rolling eyes after that.

Me: Where are the tunnels between here and Philly?

Dad: Under the Mountains

A Linkin Park

A drill sgt.

the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Thank you and have a nice day.

He kept using the carpool tunnel!

...when father mole looks over lovingly to mother mole and says, "In appreciation of all you do, we are going to brunch today!"

Mother mole and baby mole excitedly get ready and put on their Sunday best.

When they are ready to leave, mother mole climbs up the tunnel first, and exclaims, "O my, I can smell pancakes and syrup!" Baby mole comes up next and says, "I can smell eggs and bacon!"

Father mole follows behind and says, "Funny, all I can smell is molasses!"

the Carpal Tunnels

What kind of math do birds use?

Owl-gebra

What kind of math does a farmer use?

Cow-culus

What kind of math should you avoid if you have carpal tunnel?

A-wrist-metic

Which mathematical process would you use to find the total amount of chinaware you have?

Ad-dish-on

Which mathematical process would be most commonly found in a 1950's style diner?

Malt-iplication

If one runner on team injured her leg, how would you find out how many can still run?

Sub-track-tion

We were on the road, and she was complaining about having sore hands.

Me: Do you think your hands are sore because all you've done today is drive us all places?

Wife: Yeah - too much time gripping this steering wheel.

Me: Oh, that's carpool tunnel syndrome.

The wind tunnel says to him "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Hanks, I'm a huge fan."

I went to the doctor's today. He asked what he could do for me. I told him that the other day my colleague was driving me to work to save on fuel while simultaneously saving the planet. and while we were passing through a mountain I all of a sudden felt a sharp pain in my wrists. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

She said she had car pooled most if her school days. I asked what route they took, and she mentioned a road that had a tunnel. I asked if it made her wrist hurt. She said 'No, why would it?' my response: 'Havent you ever heard if Car Pool-Tunnel Syndrome?"

I have to eat dinner with the dogs tonight now.

I took my fiancée to the sea life centre this afternoon. In the walk-through tunnel under the aquarium, she spotted a fish which had a large wound on its side which looked quite nasty.

"I wonder what happened to it" she asked.

"Maybe it fell off its motor-pike" I replied.

Eye rolling commenced.

We were driving through the mountains a few weeks ago and passed through a small tunnel. Upon exiting I exhaled sharply and started panting like I was struggling to hold my breath the whole time.

GF: "Sounds like you almost didn't make it..."

Me: "Yeah, for a second there I had tunnel vision"

Backstory: Dad gets splinter, mom asks me to hold flash light, I start to get the feeling that I am about to pass out (ears ringing, tunnel vision, light headed.)

Me: Sorry I couldn't be of help, I was about to pass out, my ears starting ringing...

Dad:...Your ears started ringing?

Me: Yeah...

Dad: Well did you pick em up?!

We were talking about a joint in Logansport, IN, called The Old Style Inn. My grandpa jumped in and said "hey, there's an Old Style Inn in Valpo! (Valparaiso, IN, about 75 miles NW) I wonder if they're connected."

Without missing a beat, my dad says "that'd be a pretty long tunnel."

Dad: At least we dont have to take the battery tunnel to get to school. Me: Why? Dad: Because then we'd have carpool tunnel syndrome.

A family of 3 moles were walking around in a tunnel. The tunnel was dark causing the dad to run into a wall. Then the mom ran into the dad and the baby mole ran into the mom. The dad sniffs the air and says "I smell pancakes." Then the mom says, "I smell syrup" then the baby says "I smell molasses"

My mom sighed and my dad was in tears from laughing so hard.

"You know, if they cover the carpool lane it would be a carpool tunnel."

Thanks dad!

"These are the carpool tunnels."

An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.