The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.

The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/firestrike007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?

Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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I have a fear of driving through tunnels with multiple people in the car

Doc said it's Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewmathman17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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What do you call tunnels in the Phillipines?

Fallopian Tubes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TraditionSmashed
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Did you hear about the tunnel that makes you illiterate?

Don’t read too much into it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Studies show when car-pooling, when going through a tunnel, people who sit in the back are shown to experience more anxiety.

Scientists call it "car-pool tunnel syndrome"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeNooNinja
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2018
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When making new tunnels on the western plain, prairie dogs get help

The hole family pitches in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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When I'm driving through tunnels, I don't like using the carpool lane...

I'm afraid of carpool tunnel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salbabida_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Driving through the harbour tunnel in Baltimore, I asked my kids to tell me if they see anything interesting in the tunnel...

They said there was nothing interesting, just tiles and other cars. I said that's because the tunnel is "bored".

They didn't get it. I told them you have to dig deep for that one.

Eventually they got it, and told me to stop telling bad jokes. I wanted to see how low I could go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bcjgreen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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Did you hear the one about the guy who quit his job as a tunnel excavator?

He thought the work was boring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SugarBear4Real
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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Nobody is talking about Elon Musk's tunnel digging enterprise, The Boring Company...

It's not very interesting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/royaj77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2018
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I bought a used wind tunnel for really cheap but underestimated the strength of the fans.

It blew me away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSygil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
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Why was the tunnel always getting into trouble?

Because it was bored.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatgazoo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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Here comes the tunnel.

Had the 3 kids in the back of the car while we were on the freeway in the carpool lane. As we entered a tunnel I started screaming and as we exited the tunnel I stopped. The kids all stared at me and I very calmly explained that I had carpool tunnel syndrome. Lots of rolling eyes after that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/loomdog1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2015
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When trying to find out where the tunnels are on a trip?

Me: Where are the tunnels between here and Philly?

Dad: Under the Mountains

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frosted_Chode
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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What do they call a traffic jam in the Lincoln Tunnel?

A Linkin Park

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthracite4
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
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Who's in charge of the militarised tunnel bore?

A drill sgt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodevilfred
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2015
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Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....

the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Thank you and have a nice day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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How did the driver end up with sore wrists?

He kept using the carpool tunnel!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EroniusJoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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A family of moles was enjoying a nice Sunday morning...

...when father mole looks over lovingly to mother mole and says, "In appreciation of all you do, we are going to brunch today!"

Mother mole and baby mole excitedly get ready and put on their Sunday best.

When they are ready to leave, mother mole climbs up the tunnel first, and exclaims, "O my, I can smell pancakes and syrup!" Baby mole comes up next and says, "I can smell eggs and bacon!"

Father mole follows behind and says, "Funny, all I can smell is molasses!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trivialpursuits
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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What is your finger's least favorite place to explore?

the Carpal Tunnels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostreDeLaNoche
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Here is a series of increasingly terrible math puns.

What kind of math do birds use?

Owl-gebra

What kind of math does a farmer use?

Cow-culus

What kind of math should you avoid if you have carpal tunnel?

A-wrist-metic

Which mathematical process would you use to find the total amount of chinaware you have?

Ad-dish-on

Which mathematical process would be most commonly found in a 1950's style diner?

Malt-iplication

If one runner on team injured her leg, how would you find out how many can still run?

Sub-track-tion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkipperXIV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
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Drove my wife to the edge with this one

We were on the road, and she was complaining about having sore hands.

Me: Do you think your hands are sore because all you've done today is drive us all places?

Wife: Yeah - too much time gripping this steering wheel.

Me: Oh, that's carpool tunnel syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ign1fy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2016
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Tom Hanks walked into a wind tunnel.

The wind tunnel says to him "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Hanks, I'm a huge fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fhoxyd22
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
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Doctor's diagnosis

I went to the doctor's today. He asked what he could do for me. I told him that the other day my colleague was driving me to work to save on fuel while simultaneously saving the planet. and while we were passing through a mountain I all of a sudden felt a sharp pain in my wrists. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neusbal
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2016
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Wife and I sitting on the porch talking about how we used to get to school.

She said she had car pooled most if her school days. I asked what route they took, and she mentioned a road that had a tunnel. I asked if it made her wrist hurt. She said 'No, why would it?' my response: 'Havent you ever heard if Car Pool-Tunnel Syndrome?"

I have to eat dinner with the dogs tonight now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiAcademy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
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No escape from dad jokes, even at the aquarium

I took my fiancΓ©e to the sea life centre this afternoon. In the walk-through tunnel under the aquarium, she spotted a fish which had a large wound on its side which looked quite nasty.

"I wonder what happened to it" she asked.

"Maybe it fell off its motor-pike" I replied.

Eye rolling commenced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carl0071
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2017
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Dad joked my girlfriend recently

We were driving through the mountains a few weeks ago and passed through a small tunnel. Upon exiting I exhaled sharply and started panting like I was struggling to hold my breath the whole time.

GF: "Sounds like you almost didn't make it..."

Me: "Yeah, for a second there I had tunnel vision"

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2016
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I'm going to pass out

Backstory: Dad gets splinter, mom asks me to hold flash light, I start to get the feeling that I am about to pass out (ears ringing, tunnel vision, light headed.)

Me: Sorry I couldn't be of help, I was about to pass out, my ears starting ringing...

Dad:...Your ears started ringing?

Me: Yeah...

Dad: Well did you pick em up?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kittehluh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
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Last night, my dad got my grandpa.

We were talking about a joint in Logansport, IN, called The Old Style Inn. My grandpa jumped in and said "hey, there's an Old Style Inn in Valpo! (Valparaiso, IN, about 75 miles NW) I wonder if they're connected."

Without missing a beat, my dad says "that'd be a pretty long tunnel."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmmdddmmm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2014
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We were discussing the carpool a few years ago and there was heavy traffic on every single route we normally take.

Dad: At least we dont have to take the battery tunnel to get to school. Me: Why? Dad: Because then we'd have carpool tunnel syndrome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/treyisajedi93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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Don't know if this is a "dad joke" but my dad told it to me and I thought it was hilarious.

A family of 3 moles were walking around in a tunnel. The tunnel was dark causing the dad to run into a wall. Then the mom ran into the dad and the baby mole ran into the mom. The dad sniffs the air and says "I smell pancakes." Then the mom says, "I smell syrup" then the baby says "I smell molasses"

My mom sighed and my dad was in tears from laughing so hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merryklumklum
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2014
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Driving next to a carpool lane with my dad as passenger.

"You know, if they cover the carpool lane it would be a carpool tunnel."

Thanks dad!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiddenA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2013
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An old man was driving his carpool through a tunnel and he said,

"These are the carpool tunnels."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XPSU
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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An optimist and a pessimist...

An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit.

A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train.

The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2016
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