The founder of modern study.
A local contractor hired a pasta chef to redo the interior of a doctor’s office that studies antibiotics.
The inside looks great! They have a penne ceiling.
According to a recent study, it’s really hard for women to work for the Postal Service.
It’s a mail dominated industry.
What do you call someone that studies the science of wish granting?
Studies have revealed that cows produce much more milk when the farmers talk to them.
It's a case of, in one ear and out of the uddet
So I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
After a half century of study, I’ve discovered the true connection between mind and body.
The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds...
...they will be subma-weiners.
I conducted a study for Steve Jobs regarding the lack of evolution in his employees.
Those are Apple Bottom Genes.
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
Harvard University just ran a study proving 74% of the countries have flawed dams and it was dismissed
because it didnt hold water
I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...
New study determines what 99% of kids homeschool hate the most
I specialize in the study of swear words from the 1800s...
The detective bent over to study a clue just as an unknown projectile whizzed by
He sensed something amiss
What do you call someone who dedicates their life to the study of the eye?
I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...
But then I found out that would be massage-ony.
TIL: A recent study found that the newest strain of head lice is resistant to conventional treatment.
That left scientists scratching their heads.
Why is a bowling alley the best place to study?
It's so quiet that you can hear a pin drop.
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body
Are they known as a Nutty Professor?
What do you call the study of remorse?
My aunt has been inviting several unmarried female friends over to study the Bible and pray a few times a week.
I told her not to make it a habit.
I personally hate the term ‘study abroad’.
It’s 2019 - it should be called ‘study a woman’.
EDIT: It’s 2019 - it should be called “Women’s Studies” now. (Punchline polishing by /u/NoodlesRomanoff)
Where do the most successful artists study?
In college, I took many classes on the study of past events surrounding scraps of food from a meal
I even changed my major to Ort History!
If there were a study exploring the pornography preference of people in each country, we could finally see what this world is coming to.
My dad asked me what I would study at university. I said I enjoyed learning about the reproductive system.
"Have you ever thought about sex ed?" he asked.
"Who hasn't?" I replied. "And my name isn't Ed."
A recent statistical study shows that 20% of the people...
What happens if you get a question about communism on the Social Studies test?
You're likely to lose Marx
The studies show it, so it's true
Recent studies have found that 99% of statistics are false
What do you call the study of ants?
Accordion to a recent study, you can replace one word with the name of a musical instrument without anybody noticing.
A recent study shows that the number of people who enjoy horror films has gone up by more than 30%.
That’s a frightening statistic.
I'm a historian who studies the American Civil War. Unfortunately, it's been hard making money at this.
So I applied for a General Grant.
The recent studies done on earthquakes have been..groundbreaking
Hope you're not too shaken after hearing that one
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Studies have shown that, out of all professions, doctors are the calmest.
They rarely lose their patients.
Found this in the study lounge
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys".
Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Studies show cows produce more Milk when the Farmer talks to them.
It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder
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