To those worried about eating salad after the recent e coli outbreaks, I have three words for you.
Why did the nudist not like the caesar salad?
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
What did the priest say to the salad before he ate it?
What did the priest say to the nun at the salad bar?
Lettuce pray.
*very proud of this joke, wrote it yeas ago and it still makes me laugh every time. 😎
Asked my GF why she chose this salad over the drum and bass salad, she wants to disown me.
I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.
What happened when the chicken sees a salad.
Me: What’s the cowboys favorite salad dressing?
What did the salad say to the kidnapper?
Why did the astroid return his salad?
Heard about the newlywed salad?
I made a salad when the tomato rolled off the counter
As it landed upon my foot, I exclaimed
I took a Tomato Tomato!!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was trying to ketchup.
I made a salad I call "The Trump"
Ingredients are: Lime, Peach & Mint.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ❤️
Scientists are saying salads are soon to be a thing of the past.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Girlfriend: I’ll have the chef’s salad
Me[whispering]: babe that’s so rude, order your own!
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad....
Does it come with window dressing?
What’s that green head of something that is the main part of a salad?
I’m talking with my sister in law about the fruit salad she made (my best quick response I’ve ever had)
Last family picnic my sister in law made a really good fruit salad. I was talking with her an my spouse’s aunt about it. SIL was saying how she’d gotten a mini pineapple and mini watermelon for the salad.
The aunt asks “where’s you get all these mini fruit”
Without skipping a beat I reply “the minimart!”
With the new e.coli outbreak in romaine lettuce, it is really confusing me that the CDC is telling everyone to toss salad...
In honor of the 10 year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, Kraft foods has krafted up a new salad dressing.
What’s the best thing to put in a money salad?
Went to a restaurant today and the waitress asked me if I wanted the soup or salad.
I said no I don't want the super salad, I'll just take the regular one.
The waiter asked me if I wanted a soup or salad
I said, "Of course! Who wouldn't want a crime-fighting head of lettuce!"
I went to the fridge to make a salad...
i was looking for the lettuce but there was none romaining
When someone asks if I'd like the soup or salad
I say, "Yes, I'd love the super salad!"
"And would you like the soup or salad?"
"Eh, I'm not hungry enough for the super salad. I'll just have a side salad instead."
I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it; just in case there's a salad dressing
What did the salad say when the balsamic vinegar was being rude?
I don't like the way you're addressing me
Why did the greek salad get angry?
It got feta up over olive the other salads picking on it.
A raven walks into a restaurant. The waiter asks, would you like soups or salads?
Broth, the raven, nevermore
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
Did you hear about the two new salad mascots?
The 'Complimentary' Salad
On mothers day last year we went out to eat at Olive Garden. When the salad arrived he picks it up points it towards my mother and says in the most announcer-like voice he can muster, "You look great tonight, Honey!" when asked what he was doing he responded, "Well it's a 'complimentary' salad!". One of my favorite jokes to this day.
Why was the Caeser Salad chef forced to go on holidays?
Because he a croutons of leave.
My wife made the kids and I garden salad for dinner instead of caesar salad
Caesar salad is our favourite so I told her she really lettuce down
What did the woman say when she found her bowl of fruit salad unsatisfactory?
“This fruit salad is pear-able!”
What is the honeymoon salad?
Leaf us alone without the dressing.
I’ll have the German Salad, please.
Nine pickles,
Nine onions,
Nine tomatoes.
What did the priest say to the salad?
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
When the waitress asks if I want the soup or salad to start...
I reply: Perfect, I'll take the SUPER SALAD.
When they ask if I'd like the soup or salad
I reply, "Yes, I'd love the super salad!"
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