What's the undisputed ruler of all hand tools?
The awl mighty.
Did you hear about the mummy that just woke up and is still convinced heβs ruler of Egypt? When told βthatβs impossibleβ he flew into a rage, ran away, and jumped in a river.
People say heβs in da Nile
What is the first thing a ruler does in a duel?
It sizes up the opponent.
Who Is The Ruler of Caves Underground?
SPELUNKING!
Who was the ancient Roman ruler who always used the phrase βI canβt evenβ?
Emperor Constant Teen.
Since the US is the only country that uses British Imperial Units, itβs ironically the only former British colony to still have British rulers.
Priam, the mythological ruler of Troy, was infamous for yelling at his subjects until he lost his voice
Perhaps that's why they called him the hoarse Trojan.
What do you call the ruler of all things rice?
Queenua
What do you call the ruler of all the socks?
The stoc-KING
Me, to my wife: Do you want to have dinner with one of the Imperial rulers of Germany?
Her: Iβm not going to Burger King again.
Where did the ruler and sharpener go to on their honeymoon?
Pennsylvania
What does the ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom do when she wants to make a hard copy of the monologue she will deliver at her inauguration?
She prints-a-speech.
Did you hear about the train made out of pens, pencils and rulers that wouldnβt move?
They tried swapping the rulers for erasers but it remained stationary.
Have you heard about the ancient Egyptian ruler who asked for help in deciding which film to watch - Elf, Anchorman or Stepbrothers?
βWhat is your will, Pharaoh?β
If the Animal Kingdom was a dictatorship, why would a cow be named ruler?
Because cows have udder control.
I guess the need to measure kings is what led to the ruler.
If the Russian ruler was called the Tsar and his wife was the Tsarina, what were their children called?
Tsardines.
Why did the applicant mail a ruler to the company a week before the interview?
He was trying to get 30.48 cm in the door.
Next in the Bourne series: Jason goes rogue and captures Benjamin Netanyahu, and declares himself permanent ruler.
Donβt miss βBourne is the King of Israelβ
What did the ruler say to the pencil?
Let me get this straight
Did you hear about the ruler who got jumped?
He was beat within an inch of his life.
What is the first thing a ruler does in a duel?
It sizes up the opponent.
