A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia's chief export.

And import.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toorudez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The company was not charged for illegally putting lids onto random items across the whole country.

There was a wide-scale cover up.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoenixwarrior99
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a mime and a large rock?

One's a little timid, one's a little boulder.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacencross
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend was on a hike and the trail was covered in rocks and boulders when he started feeling a sharp pain in his kidneys.

He started to feel better after he passed the first stone.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwasthere4iam
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve been running naked across the field at the same game for five straight years.

I’m on a streak...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Watched the cows pick up some baby goats on their way across the field today.

I guess the kids are part of the moovement now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."

"That's slander, man."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashycent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I just killed a massive spider crawling across the room with my shoe.

I don't care how big the spider is, nobody steals my shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia?

It cost him an arm and a leg...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the lawsuit against the rock band U2?

The plaintiffs lost the case because their lawyer was pro Bono

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I wanted to go rock-climbing on Saturday but my best friend hated the idea.

He made the whole day very anti- climb- atic.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...

Mo-roccan.

This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sneakymooseattack
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?

Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m voting for the Rock for president..

Dwayne the swamp!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTenaciouSD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My mother told me she was abandoning the family to go across the world and study yoga. I had only one thing to say to her:

Namaste.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StringTraveler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I was watching Across the Universe and got thinking about how much each actor made

I’m sure Dr. Robert did it pro Bono, though.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cathbad09
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy drop all his Scrabble letters across the road.

I had to ask him, what's the word on the street.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I fell in love with my neighbor across the street.

It didn't work out. It was a lawn distance relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/homepreplive
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.

My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"

She then left the room, cackling.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danieltkessler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What happened to the Baked Beans that went around Australia?

They ended up in Cairns!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.

It's syncing right now.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iseb3881
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Terrorist walks into a bar and orders a vodka on the rocks

Bartender picks up a piece of ice, and asks "you like ice?"

Terrorist says "Yes, but more than one would be nice"

Bartender grabs another piece of ice and asks "so, you like ices?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farnesworth85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The mighty Dwayne Johnson!
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanMegha2909
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Dwayne β€˜The Rock’ Johnson’s family get tested for COVID-19

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?

It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Grizzly on the rocks
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyAssassin99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions

I C Y

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bawkalor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Massive protest spread across Madrid earlier today to protest the nation's Supreme Court ruling that bans tattoos.

Nobody accepts the Spanish ink decision.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Somethinggood4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A ghostly apparition of the rock band Procol Harem appeared on my bedroom wall.

I turned A Whiter Shade of Pale when I saw it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glezgatoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.

I ran.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/csteinbergrules
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Geologists know all the rocks, anthracite many from memory.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
So I order a drink on the rocks with a hint of citrus...

I was given a drink with limestone.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hot_Viking_DILF
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Where’s the best place to play a rock concert?

On a mountain!🀠🀠🀠

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinsChair
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2021
🚨︎ report
The Mandalorian came across Little Ms. Muffet having difficulty with her meal. He stopped to help, letting her know...

"These are the curds and this is the Whey."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drwheatie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know about the rock band that has 4 men who don't sing

They're called Mount. Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ur_Left_Airpod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...

I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.

Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.

When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.

Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.

I just never saw what the big dill was.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...

He said the police were expecting a crime wave

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeJeepWdw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.

I couldn't sway him.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.

But eventually I came around.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
"Hey Dad, what's the capital of Australia?"

"A"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?

The ones that were down under.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xgbsss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know Australia is the world leader in knowledge about cans?

Yeah apparently its full of can-gurus!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathcomrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGonarch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.

I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but don’t sing?

Called Mount Rushmore

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report

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