A thousand years ago, the boomerang was Australia's chief export.
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︎ Jun 30 2021
The company was not charged for illegally putting lids onto random items across the whole country.
There was a wide-scale cover up.
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︎ Jun 27 2021
What's the difference between a mime and a large rock?
One's a little timid, one's a little boulder.
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︎ Jun 19 2021
My friend was on a hike and the trail was covered in rocks and boulders when he started feeling a sharp pain in his kidneys.
He started to feel better after he passed the first stone.
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︎ Jun 11 2021
Iβve been running naked across the field at the same game for five straight years.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
Watched the cows pick up some baby goats on their way across the field today.
I guess the kids are part of the moovement now.
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︎ May 31 2021
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
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︎ Apr 24 2021
I just killed a massive spider crawling across the room with my shoe.
I don't care how big the spider is, nobody steals my shoe.
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︎ May 12 2021
Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia?
It cost him an arm and a leg...
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︎ Apr 21 2021
Did you hear about the lawsuit against the rock band U2?
The plaintiffs lost the case because their lawyer was pro Bono
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︎ May 12 2021
I wanted to go rock-climbing on Saturday but my best friend hated the idea.
He made the whole day very anti- climb- atic.
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︎ May 24 2021
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
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︎ May 21 2021
Did you hear that a rock formation called Darwin's Arch collapsed in the Galapagos Islands?
Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!
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︎ May 19 2021
Iβm voting for the Rock for president..
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︎ Apr 12 2021
My mother told me she was abandoning the family to go across the world and study yoga. I had only one thing to say to her:
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︎ Mar 15 2021
I was watching Across the Universe and got thinking about how much each actor made
Iβm sure Dr. Robert did it pro Bono, though.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
I saw a guy drop all his Scrabble letters across the road.
I had to ask him, what's the word on the street.
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︎ Feb 17 2021
I fell in love with my neighbor across the street.
It didn't work out. It was a lawn distance relationship.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
True story: As kids, my sister and I were fighting over the TV remote and it got heated. The remote flew across the room and a couple AAA batteries fell out. My sister threw one at me, and I grabbed a nearby salt shaker and threw it at her.
My mother, who was watching this go down, just laughs and says, "Assault and battery!"
She then left the room, cackling.
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︎ Mar 07 2021
What happened to the Baked Beans that went around Australia?
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︎ Mar 18 2021
Downloaded film Titanic for the family to watch this evening. Annoyingly Video and Sound has come across in separate files.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
Terrorist walks into a bar and orders a vodka on the rocks
Bartender picks up a piece of ice, and asks "you like ice?"
Terrorist says "Yes, but more than one would be nice"
Bartender grabs another piece of ice and asks "so, you like ices?"
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︎ Apr 30 2021
The mighty Dwayne Johnson!
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Why did Dwayne βThe Rockβ Johnsonβs family get tested for COVID-19
They couldnβt smell what the rock was cooking.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
What's the difference between a rock thrown at you and a crazy girlfriend?
It doesn't hurt when the rock misses you.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Grizzly on the rocks
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︎ Sep 14 2020
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
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︎ Feb 19 2021
Massive protest spread across Madrid earlier today to protest the nation's Supreme Court ruling that bans tattoos.
Nobody accepts the Spanish ink decision.
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︎ Feb 27 2021
A ghostly apparition of the rock band Procol Harem appeared on my bedroom wall.
I turned A Whiter Shade of Pale when I saw it.
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︎ Apr 11 2021
I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Geologists know all the rocks, anthracite many from memory.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
So I order a drink on the rocks with a hint of citrus...
I was given a drink with limestone.
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Whereβs the best place to play a rock concert?
On a mountain!π€ π€ π€
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︎ Mar 06 2021
The Mandalorian came across Little Ms. Muffet having difficulty with her meal. He stopped to help, letting her know...
"These are the curds and this is the Whey."
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Do you know about the rock band that has 4 men who don't sing
They're called Mount. Rushmore
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︎ Mar 14 2021
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.
Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.
When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.
Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
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︎ Jan 10 2021
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
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︎ Mar 03 2021
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.
But eventually I came around.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
"Hey Dad, what's the capital of Australia?"
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Who were hurt in the bridge collapse in Australia?
The ones that were down under.
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my carβs center console.
It was my climb-it change.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Did you know Australia is the world leader in knowledge about cans?
Yeah apparently its full of can-gurus!
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?
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︎ Nov 02 2019
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.
I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!
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︎ Mar 20 2021
You guys hear about the new rock band that has 4 men but donβt sing?
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︎ Feb 06 2021
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