The Riots Puns

A list of puns related to "The Riots"

What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?

Well, it’s black and white.

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👤︎ u/thisDiff
📅︎ Jan 07 2021
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Why did the sushi chef go to the capitol riots?

To protest the Unagi Ration.

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👤︎ u/cat-dad
📅︎ Jan 17 2021
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Communists around the world watched gleefully as the Washington riots unfolded.

Karl Marx was right when he wrote Das Capitol.

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👤︎ u/praisethelort
📅︎ Jan 08 2021
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Why did the riot cop leave for work early?

To beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/chrisrus65
📅︎ Jun 19 2020
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Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

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👤︎ u/Row199
📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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A Chinese restaurant was recently destroyed in the riots.

It was wonton destruction.

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👤︎ u/not_Teddy_Roosevelt
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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Why do the police show up early to the riots?

To beat the crowd

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👤︎ u/Mr_Gus3114
📅︎ Sep 07 2020
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Unintentional dadjoke when discussing the riots

I totally get the rage, I just don't get the Target.

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump
📅︎ May 31 2020
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So there was a protest the other day. Someone told a joke, and nobody could stop laughing. It was a riot.
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👤︎ u/sK197666
📅︎ Jun 01 2020
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During the riots the other day, a person was beat up by six dwarfs.

Not Happy.

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Jun 04 2020
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Did you hear about the Spanish bread riots?

It's complete and utter panarchy.

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👤︎ u/3x3x7x13x23x37
📅︎ Nov 08 2019
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"A Riot an the Renaissance Faire!"

Police intervened before anyone began luting.

(Stolen from today's Shoe comic strip... But too good not to share.)

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👤︎ u/jonnyprophet
📅︎ Jan 10 2020
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Breaking news: There's a riot in progress at the Kentucky Derby.

Authorities are saying it's race-related.

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👤︎ u/RonPalancik
📅︎ Apr 03 2019
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With all the riots French bakeries must be in a world of pain.
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👤︎ u/Ben_Mole
📅︎ Dec 14 2018
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A merchant approached the captain of a SWAT team about upgrading their riot shields...

The captain replied, "Finally! A purchase I can get behind!"

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👤︎ u/BradEmery
📅︎ Feb 21 2019
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Riots broke out at the thickest shirt competition...

They suffered heavy casual tees.

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👤︎ u/HandCrimped
📅︎ Mar 25 2019
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Did you hear about the riot in the whisk factory?

It caused quite a stir

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👤︎ u/KM2000_THE_CHOSENONE
📅︎ Jan 29 2018
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Did you hear about the riots on Mars?

The government declared Martian Law.

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👤︎ u/TheArchaeonOfficial
📅︎ Oct 17 2017
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When I saw videos of the Ukrain riots: It was like screwing around on a camping trip

Fucking in tents

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👤︎ u/insertkarma2theleft
📅︎ Jan 22 2014
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Why does the riot police get up so early?

To beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/danuser8
📅︎ Jun 14 2020
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Why does the riot police get up so early?

...To beat the crowds

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👤︎ u/Unsettled_Beef121
📅︎ Jun 09 2020
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Why do the riot police wake up so early?

To beat the crowds.

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👤︎ u/smliccia
📅︎ Jun 16 2020
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Why do the riot police always arrive early to protests?

Because they like to beat the crowd.

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👤︎ u/multiplesofpie
📅︎ Jun 24 2019
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