The Rabbi Puns

He was hit in the temple.

To become rejuvenated.

"well I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

Hebrewed it

The bartender looks at them and says, “what is this a joke?”

He was a Torah Borer

The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

Just wondering.

Mountain Jew

"Wait a minute. Is this some kind of joke?"

Because he got no severance pay.

Begone, dickhead!

Found jew!

It contains acidic juice.

Whoops wrong Sub.

How many Hasidic Rabbis does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, it's the Sabbath. Shabbat shalom!

Q: Why did the burglar take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway

Boom Boom

Once in a land far, far away there lived a group of people called Trids. The Trids were happy except for the huge ogre that lived on the mountain. The ogre would periodically terrorize the Trids.

The Trids tired of the ogre and sought to reason with him. They thought one of their religious leaders would be a good intermediary. So a group of Trids and their minister went up the mountain and before they could even say one word the ogre kicked them down the mountain. Not being dismayed the Trids thought that maybe the ogre was Catholic, so they sent another delegation, this time led by the local priest. But alas, as they approached the ogre he once again kicked them all down the mountain.

The Trids were upset until they thought that perhaps the ogre was Jewish. Unfortunately, no Trids were Jewish, so they wrote to the people of another land and asked them to send a Rabbi to help them with the ogre. The Rabbi arrived and led a delegation of Trids up the mountain. The ogre saw them coming and kicked all of them, except for the Rabbi, down the mountain. The Rabbi, having been told of the previous expeditions, wondered why he alone had not been kicked down the mountain, so he asked the ogre. The ogre laughed and replied:

"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

A Rabbi walks into an elevator with a guy in it already. The guy asks the Rabbi what he’s doing there, in which the Rabbi replies, “I’m here for a Bris (circumcision).” The guy then asks, “How much do you make doing that?” The Rabbi says, “I don’t do it for the money. I just do it for the tip.”

The priest had long hair and the rabbi didn't care !

Being the hostess of Thanksgivikkah dinner this year, I made a little speech about how blessed I was and how I loved everyone at our table. Dad said I should have started with a joke and then offered this one up:

"A rabbi, a minister, and a priest walk into a bar. The bar tender says, 'what is this? A joke'"!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Because he was a Torah Borer

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says...is this a joke