Did you hear about the priest who was admitted into the hospital with over two dozen little plastic horses lodged in his rectum.
Doctors say he is in stable condition.
I saw Kate Middleton's sister leaving a plastic surgeon's office the other day, but I can't tell you what work she had done.
That would be a Pippa violation.
Did you hear about the guy who had 12 plastic horses up his butt?
Doctor's reported his condition as stable.
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
Did you hear about the guy who makes comics out of tiny colourful plastic discs?
He is a sequintial artist.
The police were not convinced that my neighbor had hidden plastic explosives in his basement, so I told them...
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
What's the difference between a sneaky alcoholic and a clumsy plastic surgeon?
One takes a nip of the tipple, the other takes the tip off a nipple.
Son: "Do you want the wooden one or the plastic one?"
Dad: *Getting into row boat* "either oar"
At the grocery store the other day, the bagger asked the woman in front of me, "Paper or plastic?" She responded, "It makes no difference to me. You choose." The bagger explained that he isn't allowed to, and that she had to choose. This upset her quite a bit, which was confusing to me.
I thought it was common knowledge that baggers can't be choosers.
Me: Dude! Come with me to the storage! I organized all the philosophy theses into plastic boxes with hanging files!
Unimpressed Friend: So, Crates...
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?
Because he just couldn’t Lego.
The pink plastic birds, popular as lawn ornaments in Florida.....
are they called, "Placebo Flamingos"?
I heard the European Parliament wanted to ban all plastic items
I'm afraid they're grasping at straws.
A guy walks into a doctor office wearing nothing but underwear made of clear plastic wrap. The doctor takes one look at him and says...
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts
I threw a fake plastic turd at my wife's head while she was in the shower.
Maybe now she'll stop complaining that she's out of sham poo.
I heard McDonald’s got tired of harming the environment and stopped using plastic altogether.
For them, it was the last straw.
What's the name of that plastic table in the middle of the pizza called?
Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group
I see a lot of new faces in the room
What's the name of a nurse who inserts plastic tubes into people?
At the grocery store, would you like paper or plastic?
Either one... I'm bi-sacksual.
Why do they always ask if you want paper or plastic in line at the grocery store?
Because baggers cant be choosers
Plastics are Bag for the environment.
Ok masters of reddit, continue the pun.
Fill a bottle with concrete and then take the plastic off so you have a concrete bottle
It’s pretty useless but at least it’s a concrete idea
My wife and I put plastic on the windows today.
She started tapping on it to feel how much air was being trapped and our kitten started hitting it too.
Her: dying of laughter
Me: "Why are you laughing? He's going to puncture the plastic."
Her: "Because... He's a copy cat!"
What do you call a plastic turd in the shower?
As a father, is it okay for me to refer to the plastic threaded flange which secures the silicone nipple onto the plastic baby formula bottle as the
Those boxes with the plastic wrap are pretty cool.
The side of it that separates the plastic is really cutting-edge technology.
Why does the TSA want your liquids in one clear plastic bag?
It's pretty plane to see why.
I really want to buy one of those plastic dividers that the cashiers have.
But they keep putting it back when it comes to my turn to checkout.
This joke isn't mine but it's one that makes me smile every time I think about it!
Why did the man who had experimental plastic dentures fitted see the world differently?
Because he had new Perspex teeth!
A man was rushed to the emergency room after several small plastic model horses were inserted in his rectum.
The doctors are now reporting his condition as "stable".
Why did the plastic surgeon like doing nose jobs?
Because he got to pick everyone’s nose.
Did you hear about the donkey who underwent plastic surgery?
They gave him a very nice piece of ass.
Today, the kids were making some Christmas crafts. My dad presses one of those plastic googly eyes into my palm, leans in close and says..
".. I'm keeping my eye on you."
I freaking love that guy.
A man was admitted to the ER with 6 plastic horses in his rectum
The doctor told his worried family "he's doing fine and he's in stable condition"
Dad: What did the baby plastic want to be when it grew up?
So I guess there's this phenomenon where people can't tell the difference between good coffee and water infused with burnt plastic...
It's called the Dunning-Keurig effect.
The plastic lid on my university cafeteria salad used to be someone's cat
imgur.com/B9LsN5Y
A man goes to the hospital with 6 plastic horses up his butt...
The doctors described him as stable.
The grocery store cashier asked me if I wanted my groceries in paper or plastic, forcing me to explain why I couldn't decide.
I told her I was bisacksual.
A man was admitted to the hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach.
His condition is stable now.
A man was admitted to the hospital because he swallowed 8 plastic horses...
His condition is now stable
Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts group.
I see a lot of new faces here today.
A guy was admitted to the hospital with 8 plastic horses in his stomach.
His condition is stable now.
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