I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
Careful though, the steaks are high
He's 3 streets across and 2 down.
I want to see the fresh prints of Bellaire.
People are just dying to get in
That's hard to fathom
He asked what was wrong and they told him that his wife had died and that they were preparing to bury her.
The man replied: "that's grave news!"
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
I'm cloisterphobic
I think I’ll call it “Mr. Holland’s Opus”
The horse looks at the bartender and says "Hey"
They’re bay bees.
I was so concerned I jumped up and ran over to him...
Earlier that day my friend and I who were really into mountain biking had been using really sticky letters to put our names on our bikes. We were working near the general area of the BBQ.
Apparently I had dropped one...
Stuck to the bottom of my dads foot was the letter B....
A legendary dad joke from a legendary dad.
....working around the clock?
If you buy two packs, they'll throw in a pack of dead ones, free of charge.
Me, to my wife: “that’s stupid. I would think most women only need to have them removed once!”
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
Looking at the price, I said to her, "Damn, they're cherribly expensive!".
If they lived by the bay, they'd be baygulls
"Do you want a piece of me?" I asked him.
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
He really fell into his work.
She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”
He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. “Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.”
“No, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. “Her name is Sally and she’s selling batteries.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife.
“Yes,” he replied. “She sells C cells by the Seashore.”
We’re sitting in the chill out area at work and there’s an old Metallica guitar Tab book near us.
One of the girls says “That book smells like the 90’s”.
A guy laughs and says “What does the 90’s smell like?”
I say “Teen Spirit!”
"Don't worry buddy, it just mist me."
I replied, "No thanks, I'd rather wrestle for it!"
He couldn’t see a porpoise ahead of him.
She asked: "Which paddle should I take? The short wooden one, the long metal one?
I replied: "Doesn't matter, its either-oar situation"
along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.
Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.
People were lined up for blocks!
I was running late.
It's nowhere near finished, but the first chapter's on lime.
It was a toilet brush with death.
It's a viscous cycle.
My family didn't like this nearly as much as the pancakes I was making, sadly.
They were looking for first contacts.
At the time we were thinking of naming him Carson.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
Because they don’t deserve to be anywhere near the capital.
And then we will all be sorry.
Launch is on me.
I hate living next to Farmer Geddon.
