"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.
Heβs a pickup artist.
The girl with the big booty and a lisp wasnβt at work
She must have called in thick
How to tell the sex of an ant. Drop it in water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats....
Buoyant.
Anushka and Virat Kohli welcome a baby girl into the world twitter.com/imvkohli/statβ¦
I met this girl at the vegan restaurant who said she knew me.
But I never met herbivore.
To the 7 people who see this, this my 7 year old little girl!
So I was driving uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCW. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed.... Now. I didn't realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me.
I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...
So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.
She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."
A right of passage on WFT Twitter: get blocked by BurgundyBlog! This guy (or girl, idk) is the most sensitive account on WFT Twitter.
Asian girls donβt poop...
...they take dumplings.
Men of Reddit, what is the nicest compliment you've ever received from a girl?
Painted an All Too Well skateboard inspired by the RED album cover and Roy Liechtensteinβs βCrying Girlβ painting (1964)
I went out with a girl the other day, she said "We should have dinner together again"
I said "No thanks I'm already pretty full"
What did the girl melon say to the boy melon?
We're too young, we cantaloupe!
Ski Mask showing love to the re-release of California Girls β€οΈ
Found my girl tending the beehives...
...sheβs a keeper π
He's gotta marry that girl, she's the one!
Insane girl pretends to be the local hospital in an attempt to get her man back
What the hell happened here? Also, who's the girl hugging the pot?
Which one of the spice girls can hold the most gas?
Geri can
Juan Catalan was put on death row and spent nearly 6 months in jail for the murder of a teenage girl, until his lawyer found unused footage from HBOβs βCurb Your Enthusiasmβ that proved heβd been at a Dodgerβs game with his 6 year old daughter, on the night of the murder.
Moments that made you realize that your taste in guys/girls is REALLY different from the islanders?
For example--take season 5. I could NOT understand how both Ovie and Chris were getting NO interest, while Curtis landed both Amy and Maura. And though I thought he was a super nice guy, I didn't get all the interest in Tommy. Just not my taste.
lost 40+ lbs this year, 30+ days porn free, just got friendzoned by the girl I've been dating for over 2 months. End me.
I just discovered that Cardi B's mother was one of the Spice Girls.
Stage name: Cardamom
Men of reddit, what are the struggles of dating a very rich girl?
I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
If the girls were killed around 3pm, why were they not found until the next day? Were they simply obscured from view, or were the bodies moved at all?
Which Spice Girl can Cary the most petrol
Geri can
Girl Who Made Abuse Claim Is Sexually Assaulted by the Detective Sent to Investigate nytimes.com/2019/07/16/usβ¦
Iβm a black girl who mostly dates white guys. Why do black men get upset when they see me out with a white man? I see black men with white women all the time and I donβt think anything of it.
Kids sharing nude photos 'before they even hold hands' worries counsellors, police. They are sometimes pressured into sending the photos, but many do it willingly to get a boy or girl to like them cbc.ca/news/canada/princeβ¦
To get a girl, some guys use pick up lines. Others rely on the attraction of their car
So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases
Growing up as the Weird Girl Starter Pack
Me and the girl I met on Club Penguin 10 years ago just got married!
Having coached girl's basketball teams, I've been an avid watcher of the WNBA. But I don't think I've ever seen any woman move or play like this. Paige Bueckers is the #1 ranked HS player in USA, and will likely go on to be, in the world at any level. Absolutely BONKERS skills for HS! youtube.com/watch?v=avCjxβ¦
One time I lowered my standards when it came to a girl but I told my friends afterwards the girl was hot like a summer day in the Sahara. You could say I metaphor.
Get it? Met-a-four?
Kids are at their mothers, and the girl I've been seeing recently completely ghosted me after making plans for New year's. Gotta ride my bike at 5:40 in the morning in pouring rain to open the kitchen at work Cheers to 2020 Reddit imgur.com/4TW770f
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldnβt be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But Iβm just grasping at straws here.
6-year-old girl shot in the head by a stray New Year's Eve bullet: Police abcnews.go.com/beta-storyβ¦
Why did the girl catch feelings for the mushroom?
Because he was a pretty fungi
TIL In 2014, a three-year-old girl, Karina Chikitova, survived 11 days in the Siberian wilderness with only her dog for company. She ate wild berries and drank from a river, curling up next to her dog for warmth. She was saved when her dog went back to her village and guided rescuers to her. huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014β¦
NJ judge(M) steps down after saying 16 yo girl's rapist "came from a good family"; Separate judge(F) that claimed 12 yo girl's rape "wasn't that bad" is still sitting on the Supreme Court nj.com/news/2019/07/nj-laβ¦
One little girl dealt 1/4 of the casualties
Also yβall need to stop threatening to report me to the emoji police. Iβm a teenage girl I can use whatever emojis I like π€
