"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.

He’s a pickup artist.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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The girl with the big booty and a lisp wasn’t at work

She must have called in thick

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacktheskier13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
How to tell the sex of an ant. Drop it in water. If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats....

Buoyant.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loidz45
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Anushka and Virat Kohli welcome a baby girl into the world twitter.com/imvkohli/stat…
πŸ‘︎ 975
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Base_music_345
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I met this girl at the vegan restaurant who said she knew me.

But I never met herbivore.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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To the 7 people who see this, this my 7 year old little girl!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Turtles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
So I was driving uber tonight and I picked up a girl from the dorms at UNCW. She sat in the front and we were chatting when suddenly she sneezed.... Now. I didn't realize it while talking, but she had a glass eye, and when she sneezed her glass eye came flying out at me.

I caught it, handed it back to her and she popped it in and said thank you. I didn't know what else to say...

So, we rode in silence for the rest of the trip until we got to the bar. When we arrived at the bar, she turned and asked if she could have my number. I was flattered because she was so pretty, but I told her I was happily engaged.

She smiled at me and said, "That's a shame, you really caught my eye."

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/izzy10200
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A right of passage on WFT Twitter: get blocked by BurgundyBlog! This guy (or girl, idk) is the most sensitive account on WFT Twitter.
πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WuPacalypse
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Asian girls don’t poop...

...they take dumplings.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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Men of Reddit, what is the nicest compliment you've ever received from a girl?
πŸ‘︎ 32k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obeseman60
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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Painted an All Too Well skateboard inspired by the RED album cover and Roy Liechtenstein’s β€œCrying Girl” painting (1964)
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/helpmeartist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I went out with a girl the other day, she said "We should have dinner together again"

I said "No thanks I'm already pretty full"

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the girl melon say to the boy melon?

We're too young, we cantaloupe!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chordophonic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Ski Mask showing love to the re-release of California Girls ❀️
πŸ‘︎ 984
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im1ockedout
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Found my girl tending the beehives...

...she’s a keeper 🐝

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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He's gotta marry that girl, she's the one!
πŸ‘︎ 56k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HRMisHere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Insane girl pretends to be the local hospital in an attempt to get her man back
πŸ‘︎ 50k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dodgesbulletsavvy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What the hell happened here? Also, who's the girl hugging the pot?
πŸ‘︎ 545
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strike_Helpful
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Which one of the spice girls can hold the most gas?

Geri can

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenchDaddy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Juan Catalan was put on death row and spent nearly 6 months in jail for the murder of a teenage girl, until his lawyer found unused footage from HBO’s β€œCurb Your Enthusiasm” that proved he’d been at a Dodger’s game with his 6 year old daughter, on the night of the murder.
πŸ‘︎ 72k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajwho6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Moments that made you realize that your taste in guys/girls is REALLY different from the islanders?

For example--take season 5. I could NOT understand how both Ovie and Chris were getting NO interest, while Curtis landed both Amy and Maura. And though I thought he was a super nice guy, I didn't get all the interest in Tommy. Just not my taste.

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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lost 40+ lbs this year, 30+ days porn free, just got friendzoned by the girl I've been dating for over 2 months. End me.
πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heinelujah
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
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I just discovered that Cardi B's mother was one of the Spice Girls.

Stage name: Cardamom

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Men of reddit, what are the struggles of dating a very rich girl?
πŸ‘︎ 34k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JinxedCaitlyn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.

You've probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsweepin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
If the girls were killed around 3pm, why were they not found until the next day? Were they simply obscured from view, or were the bodies moved at all?
πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Which Spice Girl can Cary the most petrol

Geri can

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultimate132
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Girl Who Made Abuse Claim Is Sexually Assaulted by the Detective Sent to Investigate nytimes.com/2019/07/16/us…
πŸ‘︎ 32k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pelosibigballs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m a black girl who mostly dates white guys. Why do black men get upset when they see me out with a white man? I see black men with white women all the time and I don’t think anything of it.
πŸ‘︎ 27k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freakkzz9494
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Kids sharing nude photos 'before they even hold hands' worries counsellors, police. They are sometimes pressured into sending the photos, but many do it willingly to get a boy or girl to like them cbc.ca/news/canada/prince…
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vannybros
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
To get a girl, some guys use pick up lines. Others rely on the attraction of their car

So I figure a pick up truck should cover both bases

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Growing up as the Weird Girl Starter Pack
πŸ‘︎ 27k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lndiaStoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Me and the girl I met on Club Penguin 10 years ago just got married!
πŸ‘︎ 98k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BITCHTURDDAWKINS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Having coached girl's basketball teams, I've been an avid watcher of the WNBA. But I don't think I've ever seen any woman move or play like this. Paige Bueckers is the #1 ranked HS player in USA, and will likely go on to be, in the world at any level. Absolutely BONKERS skills for HS! youtube.com/watch?v=avCjx…
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aged_monkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
One time I lowered my standards when it came to a girl but I told my friends afterwards the girl was hot like a summer day in the Sahara. You could say I metaphor.

Get it? Met-a-four?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/raging64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Kids are at their mothers, and the girl I've been seeing recently completely ghosted me after making plans for New year's. Gotta ride my bike at 5:40 in the morning in pouring rain to open the kitchen at work Cheers to 2020 Reddit imgur.com/4TW770f
πŸ‘︎ 26k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Broedytytan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.

But I’m just grasping at straws here.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Propagansus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
6-year-old girl shot in the head by a stray New Year's Eve bullet: Police abcnews.go.com/beta-story…
πŸ‘︎ 29k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl catch feelings for the mushroom?

Because he was a pretty fungi

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grizz117
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
TIL In 2014, a three-year-old girl, Karina Chikitova, survived 11 days in the Siberian wilderness with only her dog for company. She ate wild berries and drank from a river, curling up next to her dog for warmth. She was saved when her dog went back to her village and guided rescuers to her. huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014…
πŸ‘︎ 49k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tokyono
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
NJ judge(M) steps down after saying 16 yo girl's rapist "came from a good family"; Separate judge(F) that claimed 12 yo girl's rape "wasn't that bad" is still sitting on the Supreme Court nj.com/news/2019/07/nj-la…
πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
One little girl dealt 1/4 of the casualties
πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/R__ii
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Also y’all need to stop threatening to report me to the emoji police. I’m a teenage girl I can use whatever emojis I like 😀
πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/remember0this
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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