The Monkey Time Puns

Turns out, it was even.

Which makes sense, because I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

And I gotta say that's true because I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

EDIT: Thanks kind stranger for the gold!!

Three roommates, a human, a monkey and a dog are watching Netflix when the human and monkey start laughing. The dog rolls his eyes and says “That joke is getting old.” The monkey then says “Hey, do you want to press play next time?” The human almost chokes on his soda as he starts laughing hysterically. The dog gets up and goes to his room. As he walks off, he turns and with a single tear forming, and his voice quivering he blurts out “You both know I only have paws!”

So my daughter owns a toy monkey called Mimi.. It's her fave monkey of all time it goes everywhere.

Anyway Mimi was covered in flour from a days worth of mucking around with homemade play-dough.

As I'm putting her to bed I'm attempting to knock all the flour off Mimi before giving the monkey to her.

She got grumpy that I had Mimi and I said to her without thinking "Just wait a second Daddy needs to finish de-flouring Mimi... "

I'm just glad she doesn't understand that particular double-entendre

I would be sitting at the breakfast table eating my breakfast. He would grab a banana from the counter. Every time, EVERY time, he would put it against my back like a gun and say, "One false move and the monkey gets it!"

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

Which - to me - sounded a bit obvious. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey

I mean, when is the last time you ate a monkey?

This surprised me, as I don't recall the last time I ate a monkey

This is true because I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey

... I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey ...

No surprises there, I can’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I don’t even remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey.