Did you hear about the mechanic who fell asleep under the car?

He woke up oily in the morning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GitShiggles
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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The rather oppressive female mechanic was trying to sell me 5 new manual transmissions

Luckily, I managed to escape her clutches.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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The mechanic told me that he fixed the elevator

That was uplifting news

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrQuackalotOWO
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What fish makes the best mechanic?

TunerFish! My son came up with that one yesterday, future smart ass dad in training.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v650
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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A Penguin sent his car off to the mechanic before going to the ice cream shop...

He ordered vanilla ice cream and gobbles it down before going back to the mechanic.

Mechanic: It looks like you blew a seal.

Penguin: Ah no that’s just ice cream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JalepenoPeppers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I like the uniform mechanics wear...

Overall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorOfFabulous
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Did you hear about the mechanic that got addicted to drinking brake fluid?

He said he could stop any time he wants.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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A mechanic fell asleep and was crushed when another mechanic didn’t see him and lowered the lift. Cause of death? He was tire’d.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
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I just picked up my car from the mechanic...

I’d love to say they did a good job, but it feels like it’s really braking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHPWarrior
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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I saw a mechanic fixing the tailpipe of a car

It looked exhausting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bettercallbert
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Hear about the mute bicycle mechanic?

Hear about the mute bicycle mechanic?

He picked up a wheel and spoke πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/__MrJ__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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My father, the elevator mechanic

My father has been working as an elevator mechanic most of his life. Whenever people ask him how work is going he says "It has its ups and downs" Hes been making this joke for 27 years

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lancerfan55
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2014
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What does the sex hungry mechanic do in the bedroom?

He nuts and bolts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spider_Dimwit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Two mechanics were making small talk about what happens when an engine is running but the car is in park.

You know, just some idle banter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laymans_Terms19
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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What do you call a mechanic that does nothing but sit by the sofa?

An ottoman

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πŸ‘€︎ u/craigilla
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
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I wonder if the mechanics at the Honda dealership had to take a Civics lesson...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lewd-roth-sama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
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Did I ever tell you about the hard-working mechanic who had to push his car five miles on its hubcaps?

He was tireless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSV_Kearsarge
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
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Why did the Chicken take its vehicle to, the mechanic?

Bad strut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CommaHorror
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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The scoutmaster and the mechanic (probably heard before) What did the mechanic say to the scoutmaster when he fixed the horn on his car?

Beep repaired!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooterscuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2017
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Why couldn't the mechanic fix the machine in the high level dungeon?

He didn't have the right gear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExplosiveLlama
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2016
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Getting the car back from the mechanic...

Brother: It would be crazy if they didn't label keys by their owner's car. How would they know which key belonged to which car?

Dad: It would be anarchy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nebraskamolly22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
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Trust dad to make light of a disappointing experience at the local mechanic

I was telling my dad about how we just got our car back from being fixed at our local mechanic and had a pretty disappointing experience. I had to call back several times only to find that there would be further delays (5 days total) until the car was repaired and after 'cleaning' the car and they left grease marks everywhere - including all over the windows, on the steering wheel and door handles.

My dad cut in with "at least you could slip through the traffic easily".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairyoathen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2015
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What is the most important event for a mechanic?

Their Ten-Gear anniversary.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2015
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The elevator mechanic father joke reminded me of my dad doing this for 30 years now and still going strong

He drove semi for UPS for 32 years until he retired. He used to tell people he was a "semi professional driver"

eye roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_var_log_messages
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2014
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