I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
I wonder why the corona cases are so low in Deutschland
I mean, its called Germ-many
I set the bar pretty low…
Because I like to do the limbo
Today on the bus, I caught an absolutely disgusting low lying old pervert watching Porn..........
.......Over my shoulder!!!
Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?
I was the top student in my class until my teacher gave me very low marks.
Going for the low Apple here.
So pear with me.
I’m berry sorry about this.
Eggs are Eggcellent.
I deserve to be dilled.
Yeah I’m grape at this.
My phone was showing "Battery low". So I placed it on top of the cupboard.
It worked. Can't see the notification any more.
Covid19 is keeping things on the DOW low.
Did you hear about the ape that got bullied because of his low status?
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.
It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.
I'm gonna just take the low hanging fruit
The detective is on the case (low effort)
My dad said the other day, when I was feeling low, 'don't worry it could be worse, you could be in a hole full of water'
[OC] The prehistoric shark in a limbo competition asked the presiding official, Don, to lower the bar. “Low enough?” Don asked.
“No, I want it even lower. I want it mega-low, Don.”
Saw it and thought it was in need of a subtitle. Sorry for the low quality
The doctor's price for my vasectomy was a bit steep for me, but my offer was too low for him.
In the end we split the deferens.
Downloaded a pirated copy of the Bohemian Rhapsody. Quality is really bad though. Low res. Dark. Blurry.
I see a little silhouetto of a man.
That face when everyone thinks you're a British actor, but you're low-key the god of mischief
I'm a pretty good golfer and I normally shoot in the low 80s
Any hotter than that is uncomfortable
Feeling a little low, I decided to peruse the local record shop for a new addition to my music collection.
Drifting down the alphabetised rock section, nothing really appealed to me from A-M. Disappointed, I moved around to the other side of the rack when suddenly I felt uplifted, content and at one with the universe.
I had reached Nirvana.
Being a waiter is hard. The hours are long, the pay is low.
But at least it puts food on the table.
Have you heard of the Norse god of mischief? He doesn't like to talk about it, I guess you can say he's low key.
Why do leaves hang low in the mornings?
because of all of their dews and responsibilities.
The one cent penny and other low-value currency are used very little these days.
The recruiter asked why I inflated my GPA on my resume. I said I had low-grade amnesia.
That gas price is so low I can’t even see the sign.
What did the wave say to the cliffside after low tide?
Why was the ground feeling so low?
Because everyone just walks all over it.
It turns out that saving money on low wattage light bulbs was not the brightest idea.
I read in the news today about a phone with low battery that killed man
It is now being charged with murder.
Did you hear about the guy who broke up and had very low self-esteem ever since?
He had a rejectile dysfunction.
My dad, type 2 diabetic, after 11 months of suffering chemo/radiation treatment for pancreatic cancer, 5 months after he was told the surgery failed and it was terminal. Brother reads off the back of a Sweet'N Low packet "...been determined to cause cancer to laboratory animals" Dad snaps back
"Bullshit! I've been using that stuff for years and...(looks at 13" scar across his stomach from whipple procedure to remove tumors, looks back at family for effect) oh... shit..."
Never lost his great attitude towards life, family, and people in general. Always quick with a joke/dad joke until the end.
I'm a little low on money at the moment to buy Injustice 2. I plan on trading games back to GameStop even though I will get next to nothing for it. I'll even trade in my original Injustice game for it...
that's what I call poetic injustice.
The beam over the stairs in my house is a bit low, so I put up an appropriate warning sign. [yes, I'm a dad]
Why did the lassoo have low self esteem?
Democrats thought Republicans took the low road, so they took the highway.
Why did the letter B with low self-esteem start eating a lot?
Why did the man with no fingers have low self confidence?
Because he could never count on himself!
I bet the Department of Defense gives the low-quality rations to submarines.
After all, they're sub-optimal.
Why was the amplifier salesman able to have such low margins?
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
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