A list of puns related to "The Known World"
K-pop
Unpresidented.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words youโve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorโs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsโs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorโs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnโt keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
โWellโ said Jeff, โAs Iโm sure you know the convention comes to town laterโ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
โYes of courseโ replied Trevor
... keep reading on reddit โกit is oft forgotten that the air nomads once tried to rule the world. they were known as... the roamin' empire ;)
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.
The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.
"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"
When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.
"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."
The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it
... keep reading on reddit โกI am not a dad at the moment, but I've learned the art of pretty clever puns in college. Some are mine, some are spins on inspirations, others are more on the joke side of dad.
What does a radioactive cat have?
18 half-lives
Ventriloquists are like psychiatrists, they both talk through things.
What is my vision?
To make the world 10% better?
No, it's about 20/20...
The invention of the shovel was truly a groundbreaking discovery.
Dad: I invested in some uranium, but I lost money.
Friend: What happened?
Dad: The Profit decayed.
We have received a report of a hole being discovered in the ground, our investigative team is looking into it.
There was an explosion at a local film manufacturing company, the story is still developing as we speak.
A local theater put together an act about jokes.
It was a play on words
Sรธ, I hรชรกrd yรถลซ lรฌkรซ fรถrรฉigรฑ aรงฤฤลtลก
As an airline mechanic would say, the job has lots of ups and downs.
My New Years resolution will probably be 25 megapixels, or 4K, not sure yet...
There was a river in Egypt no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.
Dad-Epitaph:
I thought I'd never live to see this day come.
There are two things that are guaranteed to open doors in life.
Push and Pull!
(How to keep an idiot in suspense)
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
A man builds robotic snakes for a living, I guess you could say he was a... python programmer!
A researcher's obsession with mixing stone, sand, lime, and water has yielded concrete results.
A madman once attacked a rider on his horse.
The rider had to goto hospital, the horse remains in stable condition.
A man bought a paper shop, it blew away in the wind last night.
Science is all about learning the rules, setting off an absurd amount of explosives, and then writing down what happened.
It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.
Dad: Did you pick up your room?
Kid: No, I tried but it's too heavy.
In this society, companies and businesses are not legally allowed to give themselves a name. Instead, companies are ID's alphanumerically. The first businesses were Corporation A, Company B, Business C, ... Organization Z, Company A1, etc.
The world's current largest corporation is Company B. They're particularly known for their robotics manufacturing. One day, Company B had just finished the design for two new robots. One that would automatically play blues songs on a record player at the press of a button. (What we know today as a jukebox) The other was a companion robot for lonely people, modeled after a beagle.
Unfortunately, when the final version of these robots were being manufactured for a worldwide release, there was an error in the automated assembly line. This error caused the two robots to be built simultaneously, creating a single robot.
The resulting product came to be known as the Boogie Woogie Beagle Bot of Company B.
For some time many of us have wondered, just who is Jack Schitt?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'
Well, thanks to my personal genealogy research efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.
He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.