Did you hear about the diarrhoea outbreak at the journalist convention?

It’s all over the news!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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What did the shooting star say to the journalist?

No comet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Stuman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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This is by far the best pun of the day , the journalist really drove the message home!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fair_SOTS
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
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Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?

He finally found the scoop he was looking for.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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Why was the journalist in a hurry?

He had pressing matters to attend

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Why won’t the germophobe use the maritime journalist’s toilet?

Because he’s afraid of ship articles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/efm-7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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What did the man with conjunctivitis say to the journalist?

The experience was a real eye-opener.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrFaz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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What's the difference between a group of journalists and an amateur poetry contest?

One has more prose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fat_Hitchhiker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2017
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There's a line of journalists outside the ice cream store.

They're waiting for a big scoop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ContentDoctor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2016
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What's the name of the knighted, well-traveled journalist?

Sir Freelance-a-lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elmaninho
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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The first hurdle of a journalists investigation.

An ex policeman turned construction worker has been arrested. He is believed to of been in charge of a ring of cowboy workers. They were going around farms constructing stables, these stables had many faults-including many falling under strong head winds. We asked the man what his title with the police was? He replied "chief con-stable".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghost_Brain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2014
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Theres this bar on a cliff

And 5 guys in it A bartender A news journalists And 3 friends Everyone expect bartender is smashed and the news journalists gets up, and walks out, he walks off the cliff and just floats. There, he walks back inside. One of the 3 friends says, wow, how did you do that? The, news journalist says " wow, at this time of day, at this time of month, in this specific cliff, there's a gust of wind that will let you float there for about an hour " the other man goes "really" " yea" so the man walks outside and off the cliff and falls to his death. The bar tender says "super man your a dick when you're drunk 🍺😜

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πŸ‘€︎ u/master13123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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The Pole Vaulter

During the Olympics in Rio last year, a journalist was walking through the Olympic Village, and passed a guy carrying a long pole over his shoulder.

"Hi! Are you a pole vaulter?"

"No, I'm German, but how do you know my name?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stereoroid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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The tale of Ivan Ivanavich (Long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himself a gig of selling old newspapers. He would go through garbage cans to find old papers and would sell them to people in the poorer part of town. He makes slightly more spare change, but not really enough to live a better life. In his spare time, which he had plenty, he decides to start free diving in the bay. He goes there each day, and started to get really good at it. One day, an owner of a Circus spots him diving and is amazed at how good he is. He decides to offer Ivan a job at his circus doing performance diving. Ivan eagerly accepts and begins his career as a circus member performing amazing high jumps into really small containers of water. After a few months of doing this he suggests to the owner one amazing jump to wow everyone and put his circus on top of the entertainment world. The owner contemplates this and eventually agrees. He rents a ship much like the one Ivan arrived in and placed the smallest container yet. The radio and tv crews, journalist all arrive to spectate the event of a lifetime. The hour arrives and Ivan begins his climb up a massive lighthouse on the edge of the cliff, and the ship is positioned into place beneath him. Ivan is very nervous but decides it's go time, and jumps from the massive lighthouse. As Ivan falls, he takes perfect form heading straight towards his target. As he dives a sudden wave pushes the ship ever slightly throwing off the careful alignment. Ivan hits the deck and goes straight through the top of the ship. The spectato

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entophreak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?

He finally found the scoop he was looking for.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
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