What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you stick the cucumber.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snailhighway
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
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Why was the German 7 so hungry?

Because 7 8 nein.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bambamtx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2021
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The hungry hungry hippos always have something to say when other hippos eat as much as they do

They're very hippo critical

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xtilexx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
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I was cold and hungry, so I put my feet in front of the heater

Now I have tostitos

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ChargeYourBattery
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2021
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Why was the hungry rabbit so mellow?

Because he didn't have a carrot in the world

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jedi_Lucky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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It you see a hungry zombie, destroy the hungry zombie.

It's a no-brainer!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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What does the clock do when it’s hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Droolingdogg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where there was a brother frying chips.

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied, "No, I'm the chip monk".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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I started pulling the "Hi hungry, I'm dad" routine with my two-year-old. A couple days in, I asked her if she was hungry.

She just laughs and says, "Silly Daddy, I'm not hungry, I'm Nona." I didn't expect to be a grandfather so soon...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMasonX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2019
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I went to my parents house for dinner and when I walked through the front door my mom asks,"Are you hungry?"

So I told Her,"No.I'm half German and half Irish."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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Why do people never get hungry at the seaside?

Because of the sand-which is there

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
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What did the 50 do when it got hungry?

58

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DNAdrian95
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2020
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Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him β€œHow come there’s no charge?”

He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/linknt01
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2020
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What did the assassin do when he was hungry?

The assassinate

πŸ‘οΈŽ 202
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lZombieChaserl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19 2019
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My dad on the phone: "Honey, are you hungry?"

"Okay then, eat something before I pick you up."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2020
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Why was the teddy bear never hungry

Because he’s always stuffed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bf213741
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2020
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People say they never get hungry at the beach

That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jtfiction
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
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What the local Hungry Howies changed their sign to after someone crashes their car into it.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/magicalmanatee0
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2019
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Why did the hungry snowboarder stick a hand warmer in his pants?

He was craving a hot pocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hexspades
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12 2020
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How far back in time did the hungry time traveler go?

He went back four seconds

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/danwright32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2020
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Two very hungry men were wandering the desert when they see a bacon tree.

One runs up to eat the bacon, when all of the sudden he starts getting shot at from out of nowhere. He yells to his friend, "watch out! It's not a bacon tree. It's a hambush!"

*Borrowed from a friend who is very much dad material.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Phizzwizard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2019
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At dinner yesterday, the host asked if we were hungry

I said no we are American

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tswaves
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2019
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Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy Server: ... Maybe the chicken strips for $6?

Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DICSBFLOPPIN
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2019
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Photo of police officer breastfeeding a stranger's hungry infant is warming hearts around the world.

After the feeding she couldn't get the baby to sleep so she charged it with resisting a rest

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ButterCupHeartXO
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 21 2019
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I was alone in the desert, hungry, and couldn't think of any puns...

.. then I met this magical pig, and she gave me a potion to make me funnier.

Best ham sand witch ever.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrankyBiker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2019
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Why did the hungry baby calf cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2019
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At the beach, a young boy was hungry so he covered his feet in sand....

"What are you doing?" asked the boy's father.

"Making burritos" the boy responded.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PM_ME_A__THUMBS_UP
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2019
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What did the unborn twins say when they were hungry?

Feedus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/haymalb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2019
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There was a farmer selling his produce at the side of the road, I pulled over as I was a bit hungry to get an apple. I noticed he also sold paracetamol and cough medicine. I asked him "why do you sell drugs?"

He said "I'm a farmer see"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickl444
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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Why weren’t any of the pregnant women hungry?

They gestate.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LaterCanIChangeThis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2019
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What does the clock do when it's hungry?

It stops at 7:11

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sane333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2018
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What did the seal with a broken arm say to the hungry shark?

Do not comsume if the seal is broken

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DragonPhyres
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2018
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One plant says to the other, hey, are you hungry?

Well, I could use a light snack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GreenyOneOOne
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2018
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What does the sex hungry mechanic do in the bedroom?

He nuts and bolts

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spider_Dimwit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11 2019
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What does the clock do when it's hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2018
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Did you hear about the hungry clock ?

It went back for seconds

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
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You can never get hungry at the beach

This is because of all the sand which is there

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thoompa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2020
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A hungry traveller stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchens where a brother is frying chips…

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2017
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What did the clock do when it was hungry?

It went back four seconds

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Future_Tyrant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2019
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A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips...

"Are you the friar?" he asked.

The brother replied "No. I'm the chip monk."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2017
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What did the clock do when it was hungry?

It went back 4 seconds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThanksObama92
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2014
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What did the clock do when it was hungry?

It went back four seconds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dinocornate
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2018
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Did you hear about the hungry clock?

He went back four seconds

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ezpzbtw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2019
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What does the clock do when it's hungry ?

It goes back four seconds

πŸ‘οΈŽ 249
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zahi36501
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2017
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