Happy new year. I think.
Losing my job 3 1/2 months ago ruined me. It sent me into a deep dark depression after detox and I ended up drinking more than ever. Sucked it up and went back to detox. Had several more weeks of being in a deep dark hole, but last week I put some effort in and fixed my resume. Yesterday I sent out my resume to about 6 places, 3 places called me to schedule an interview, I went to the first one this morning and landed the job! Iโm so happy. I canโt wait to feel worth while again, and get out of my little cave I call my home. Thank you so much for this sub and the people apart of it. Couldnโt have done it with out you.
This is a big deal for me, as I went two years drinking every single day, all day. I know the war is far from over, but it feels good to win at least one battle. Any tips to keep this streak going would be appreciated.
The cult will lose control of time, behavior, community and environment all at the same time over the next few months. Additionally, more truthful information is available to members everyday throughout the world. According to the BITE model this could be a big issue. I have seen this have positive results to individuals in other cults, but the speed and scale of this event could be significant. We should be ready for a different kind of flood and questions. If the quarantine is short, they will just revert back to the cult, but if it goes on longer, people may begin to see what it really is with a little distance and open eyes.
Test results for my liver convinced me to slow things down. I'll begin antabuse on my second day and I'm scared as fuck. My family has been sharing my behavior/things I've said in calls with each other, which really does break my trust and hurts me. As one of the other posts said: FUCK.
Thank you all for being the community I connect with.
Mods, if this post is not ok please let me know. But I believe this is very important so I hope this post stays up. Since pretty much everyone in Bachelor Nation reads this sub, I think itโs time we use this space to raise (more) awareness and ask all these girls to seriously stop making money posting these dangerous ads. If I wasnโt already alarmed before, I am even more so now. Detox teas are officially recognized as a new form of bulimia. Just another side of the good old โbinge and purgeโ coin. I think itโs important to share these articles so that the ladies that read our sub, who so many times have talked about how badly the show often makes them feel, donโt buy these teas from the skinny girls from this show. People are literally dying now because of these damn teas.
This Teen Vogue article starts with a girlโs story worth reading:
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/detox-teas-fueled-my-eating-disorder
And Vice has this report:
>Sondra Kronberg is a clinical nutrition therapist and a spokesperson for the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) whoโs been working with people with eating disorders for 30 years. Kronberg explains that โuse of the teas is a compensatory behavior,โ as shown by the teenaged Lee compensating for having eaten dinner by drinking tea afterward to rid it from her body. Used in moderation, laxative teas can relieve constipation. But obviously, overuse is dangerous.
>Drinking too much of these teas or steeping them too long can lead to liver, kidney, and colon problems, and the FDA has reported several deaths resulting from laxative tea abuse.
https://tonic.vice.com/en_us/article/mb5p7n/lets-call-detox-teas-what-they-really-are-laxatives
That last line is what got me worried. Take the time to read both articles. Please donโt buy these teas. Itโs so easy to feel like you need them, and before you know it you can end up developing an eating disorder. Itโs not really that different than throwing up. Itโs literally eating, purging, hurting your body. Itโs not detox. Iโm not naming companies, but I think the action of purging excessively is whatโs dangerous.
Please, as fans letโs start calling out the girls who promote this junk again. Itโs not just unethical; itโs dangerous.
And if youโre a girl who appeared on this show, please consider not making money from these companies anymore and issue an apology. Please tell your followers to not buy these teas; stop drinking them yourself too. Think of th
... keep reading on reddit โกIt's been rough but enough is enough. Please keep me in your thoughts. No phone through the detox so I'll update when I'm out. I love you all and here's to being sober!
Edit: back at home and feeling much better, I can't thank you all enough for your words of encouragement as it has meant a great deal. Now that I'm sober I just have to worry about cravings and my crazy mood swings for now. Thank you again everyone!!!
As info, the detox process at a Methadone clinic is basically just tapering off of Methadone to get to the point where I have no opiates left in my system. Aside from the Methadone, I'm completely drug and alcohol free (including nicotine and THC). Before it gets asked, yes I have a job as I never lost it from my drug use luckily. I am in a place now where I just want to help people that are in a similar position that I might have once been in and to also help people who aren't as familiar with addiction to understand it better.
I have no clue if it's related, but my two year was freaking the fuck out the other night about ghosts and calling me "ghost mama". I have no clue where he got the idea from, I have always monitored what he watches on YouTube really well, and actually only would let him watch two channels, Blippi and CKN toys which would be chromecasted from my phone to the TV.
However, my husband is convinced I am a neglectful monitor, and blamed YouTube so instead of arguing I said fuck and it's gone. Tbh fine with me, I can't listen to another episode of Blippi anyways. So far so good. ๐ค
I dropped from 90mg to nothing in 7 days. Switched to subutex, and it didn't even put a dent in it. I didn't eat for a full two weeks. Hell, I couldn't even hold down fluids. Almost had to go to the hospital I was so dehydrated and had zero energy, but I powered through it and forced myself to drink ginger ale and apple juice. I begged for God to just kill me or take it all away. But, I made it through, and the whole process took two weeks. I finally feel completely back to normal. The desire to use hasn't come back. I made it.
Just had to tell y'all. Love you guys.
I can't sleep and going to bed hungry makes it worse. I am trying to support my husband with te diet but it is not working. I told him this morning that I'm not doing the diet anymore.
I have 7 days before my next prescription of sleeping tablets. I can't sleep at night so I find something to drink. I'm drinking his special bottles of sweet wine and liqueurs. He has removed the "temptation" liquor to support me. Beer and wine.
I feel like a failure. I am trying to quit. The longest stretch of sobriety was 6 days.
For the next 7 days I'm going to concentrate on sleeping without drinking. Hopefully training my body.
Thanks so much for this sub. You really motivate me.
Thanks have a blessed day.
I've got to stop this madness. doctor says my liver is stuffing up but can be reversed, i have stomach ulcers, I was given a bag of fluids in my vein, stomach medication, Valium, Endone for the pain. So here we go again day 2. IWNDWYT
Iโm ashamed. I tried pretty hard to time this right in terms of my kids and my job; had so wanted to feel good again. But. here I am, 4 days out of the ER, and craving a drink. Lying to myself that it will somehow be different this time. Desperate for a therapist and psychologist I can speak with. Hoping that once I get out all the emotional poison I wonโt crave the alcohol that is so soothing.
Iโm still waiting for some discharge papers and with them Iโm getting the number of the chief of psychiatry, a guy I really connected with here, who understood that my PTSD had to be addressed before I could safely say I have a good chance at sobriety. He asked if he could help me. I said yes. Help me find that psychiatrist and therapist. He promised he would.
In the meantime Iโm just crying a lot. I thought I should be happy. Thanks for listening.
