Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
I got hit in the head with a can of soda.
Luckily, it was a soft drink.
I was at the store yesterday and some dude threw a jug of milk at my head
I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.
If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.
I got hit in the head by a can of Coke today.
I'm okay, it was a soft drink.
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head
I was replaying Wind Waker recently after having binged BNHA, and the idea popped into my head.
Still scratching my head in confusion, trying to understand why was I thrown out of the interview room???
My answer was spot on, upon being asked to give an example on a "Business being completely ruined due to carelessness"
All I said was... "A Pregnant Prostitute"
What do you call the part of the snake that isn't it's head?
The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
I watched an old lady in a head wrap get mugged for her purse before she quickly stabbed the man and took it back.
It was a shawl shank redemption
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet
He was looking for Pooh
Old I know...
Once the home intruder entered our bedroom, my wife grabbed a bottle of perfume and hit him on the head.
She thought that might knock some scents into him.
Why is Dwayne Johnson's head revered by the Muslim faith?
Because it's the Dome of the Rock.
Did you head about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."
"I'm breathing underwater."
I've never been prouder.
I went to the zoo and saw 2 massive hairy apes, covered in cream and cherries on their heads..
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
What did one pot head llama say to the other pot head llama ?
You know why just the head of a statue never sells well?
Because it's just a bust.
My dad said if he see me browsing reddit again, he'll smash my head to the keyboard
I guess hezsjkfowgajqjhsjwkwlsvvcaxxacfasuoc
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.
I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
What was written on the back of Mike Pence’s head?
What do you call the head coach of the Kansas City football team?
What did the right side of my head say to the left?
Sat at the PC gaming last night and a bloody book hit me on the head!
I only have my shelf to blame!
Mary Queen of Scots. My favorite one, but She was found guilty of high treason and the Head of the Monarchy was then..
The other day I saw a duck standing on top of another duck’s head.
A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor said...
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”.
Why was the pot-head chiropractor getting so much business?
Everybody needed help rolling their joints
What did the fish say when it hit its head on the concrete wall?
I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor and as I got out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” I replied, “Don’t call me son, you’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said...
“No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”
I got hit by a soda can in the head!
Luckily it was a soft drink.
My wife said that if I don't get off the computer she'll slam my head on the keyboard...
...but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn
My wife told me she's slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer !
Don't worry guys, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
Today I got hit in the head by a can of soda.
Luckily it was a soft drink.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday.
Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
I got hit in the head by a soda can the other day...
Luckily, it was a soft drink!
Did you hear the one about the guy who got hit in the head with a can or soda?
Luckily for him, it was a soft drink.
I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.
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