The Granites Puns

I told her that I didn’t like being counter-productive.

“Looks like their relationship is on the rocks.” He’ll make a great dad some day.

It was a counter attack.

Counterfeiting

a counter fit bill?

It was counterproductive

A rock star...

When we have special promotions, I can make a commercial on the radio that says "don't take this shale for granite!"

My sister teaches at a high school for children with learning and behavior disorders, and every year she hosts a skills summer camp.

2015 will be geology-themed, and we need help thinking of a fun name for the camp.

Previous years: 2014 Summer Scenarios: Little Egypt (Egyptian themed) 2013 Summer Scenarios (first year had no kitchy name, but it was zombie-themed)

Potential examples: Stone Throne, Rock Steady, Taken for Granite, etc.

During the live-in camp (boarding school), they'll learn survival/outdoorsmanship skills (fire starting, gardening, canoeing, etc.), and have geologists as guest speakers.

Any high school learning-friendly geology-themed blockbusters would be welcome suggestions, too--but I'll post that for the people over at /r/movies.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: Thanks to everyone who actually gave appropriate suggestions, and high-fives to those who just made rock puns. My sister selected Game of Stones.

To which the Genie replied, “Your wish is granite.”

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

‘Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

Because if the are I've got some pretty gneiss ones but most them are schist. If so, I won't take this opportunity for Granite.

The husband suggested composite materials. Meanwhile the wife took him for granite

Every morning an old miner went to work, picked up his pickaxe and didn't think much about it. Years pass, and he just goes to work, takes his pickaxe and never thinks much about it. One morning he goes to work, but his pickaxe isn't there, it's gone. He sighes, and thinks to himself:

"All these years, I took this pickaxe for granite."

came up with this yesterday, if you've heard the same pun let me know the context :)

(And yeah, I need some new material. :) )

This is a grave situation.

People always take the tombstones for granite.

That's the place where dead people live.

A little background: we are eating Mexican food for dinner. Tostitoes and salsa are out on the table and my brother and I were snacking on them while waiting.

Mom (feeling the granite countertop): "oh no, there's a chip in the counter!"

Brother (holds out salsa): "here, I bet it'd go good with this"

My wife and I were at Home Depot walking through the kitchen section pointing out which granite was nicest. Then she said, "..but quartz is what I want", to which I replied, "of quartz you do".

Dad goes under the sink to look for the granite counter cleaner.

Dad: "where's the granite...?" Me: looks around "it's all over the place" He looks up and just shakes his head while my stepmom bursts out laughing.

Me: "Hey dad is the old courthouse made of granite?"

Dad: "I dont know, but we definitely take it for granite"

Yuk yuk yuk

A lot of the time he will take things for granite.

...and I used the cheap stuff, but it looked real, so I thought maybe it'd fool her.

No such luck. My wife is so "counter-intuitive" due to her high "counter-intelligence" that it didn't matter how "counter-productive" I'd been, she took one look at it and just knew. So instead of taking it for "granite," she threw a "counter-fit."

(Proud dad. All the jokes in this subreddit sound like ones I would make...)