Did you hear about the girl who tried to smuggle drugs in her bra ?
Police said, it led to a bigger bust.
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. She’s a keeper.
Met a beautiful girl over Spring Break in Mexico, but she constantly talked about the end of the world.
What's the difference between a boy clock and a girl clock?
A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.
Which Spice Girl can hold the most petrol?
I went out with a girl the other night, she wore this real slinky dress...
She looked great going down the stairs.
What do you give the girl who’s got everything?
Who do the Spice Girls speak to when they have an issue with one another?
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
Did you hear about the girl with bee's in her head?
Yeah, she's got a hive mind now.
What do you call it when a girl's butt looks hot but is really cold to the touch?
How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant? (SFW don't worry)
Put them in water. If one floats, it's (a) boyant.
The girl is the middle of the tennis court
Why did the girl break up with a guy who paid for everything with ten dollar bills?
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Whaddya call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.
Whaddya call her Asian cousin.
Irene
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday
A Girl takes a pregnancy test, mortified, she looks her boyfriend, dead in the eyes, and says...
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
What did the father say to his trans girl child?
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
If girls with big boobs work at The Hooters, where do the girls with only one leg work?
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
What happened when the girl didn’t pay her exorcist
Whats the difference between girls/women aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78
At 8. You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18. You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28. You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38. She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48. She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58. You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68. If you take her to bed, that will be a story.
At 78. What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you ???
Why was the girl cross with the guy after he broke up with her?
I’m starting to lose trust in the cross eyed girl I’m dating.
I think she’s seeing other people on the side.
The youngest girl in our family wants to be a male semiconductor device for amplifying, controlling, and generating electrical signals when she grows up.
A girl took me back to her place. The curtains were drawn
but the furniture was real
Why did the fat Indian girl decide to run a marathon?
She was a very moti-weighted person.
Why did the girl date a zombie?
'Cause liked her for her brains!
Why did the girl break up with the zombie?
'Cause he was dead inside!
What did the girl mushroom say to her boyfriend?
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.
I suppose we aren't gonna work out.
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
How do you tell the sex of an ant? You drop it in water. It sinks: girl ant. It floats:...
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
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