This afternoon an old man with a long beard and pointy hat knocked on my door, waved his wand, and said, "I was summoned here by the weather forecasters."

Sunny spells.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2022
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What did Santa Claus say when Mrs Claus asked him what the weather forecast was?

It looks like reindeer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BreakfastBeerz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2021
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The forecast claims there's a class 5 hurricane coming

It's probably overblown

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oh_My_Monster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2021
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Tried to make a joke to my daughter and got owned.

Exchange I just had with my daughter:

me: Your soccer might be cancelled tomorrow, the rain forecast is really bad
her: Don't be silly, it's always sunny on Saturdays
me: No, you're thinking of Sunday.

her: (with no hint of laughter just disappointment in me): That's not even a good dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EatABigCookie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2022
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There’s a chance of snow in the forecast

I’m snow excited

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meganium58
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!

I beat the raining champion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...

High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Bill, the weatherman: β€œToday’s weather forecast will be two beans in a tomato, meat sauce.”

Anchor: Bill, what on earth are you talking about?

Bill: It’ll be a little chili.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBisme
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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My boss said that an outdoor concert was fine this fourth of July celebration despite the forecast f rain...

Just so I cover all the bassists.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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A couple is arguing. . .

A couple are arguing about whether they should cancel the picnic they had planned.

It's kind of cloudy, but the wife still wants to go because the forecast looks ok.

The husband, however, heard from their cranky old Russian neighbor Rudy that his joints were achy, and that he was certain it was going rain that day.

The couple argues for a while. The wife insists they should listen to the weather man over some crotchety old neighbor. The husband is equally insistent that the neighbor is right about this. After some back and forth, he finally turns to his wife, exasperated, and says:

Rudolph the red knows rain, dear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amonkeyherder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
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Have you heard of the new hipster weather forecasting device?

It lets you know when temperatures are dropping before anyone thinks it’s cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CardiacSchmardiac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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The weather forecast in Mexico is

Chili today, hot tamale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zhaogeorge3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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Watching the weatherman give the forecast and he says we'll probably see some teens late tonight and I said

They shouldn't be out that late without adult supervision. The sound of eyes rolling is music to my ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zulubowie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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My weather guys said the forecasts were going to be late

I said it's cool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerofblame
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
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Did you hear about the forecast for the rap concert?

They're expecting a Lil Wayne.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2015
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Weather forecast provides the perfect dad joke opportunity

I was checking the weather and the forecast for Sunday said "Potential for significant icing"

Dad: "Chocolate or vanilla?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPrezBama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2014
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It's forecast to be the coldest day of the year so far this Thursday.

Well, it is January afterall. (courtesy of my stepdad)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeHuggerGuy96
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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What is a duck's favorite part of the news?

The feather forecast.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PHATstuFF21
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Out of the blue: A dad joke from my teen-age son

We're in California, and the drought is on our minds as we approach what (in a good year) is the rainy season. As I checked the weather forecast, I gave a little cheer.

"Chance of showers this week!" I told my son.

"Well, for me, it's a 100% chance," he said. "Every morning, about 5:30."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfComm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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Got my family at dinner.

A little bit of context: we're finishing dinner and talking about the weather. My mom says today's storm wasn't as big as forecasted, and my dad comments that another storm is predicted to come on Sunday.

I say, "Well then shouldn't they call it Rainday?"

Got 2 groans and a half-hearted chuckle. Totally worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zhaji
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2015
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I'm glad it only rained water today

The forecast called for scat showers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailedBasilisk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2017
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Dadjoke practice

Backstory: I'm a flight instructor, and I was teaching one of my students about the "Area Forecast". We were going through which areas of the country the forecast covered, and in addition to a bunch of states, there's a few lakes, like Lake Superior, Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, etc.

Her: "Why are these lakes included in the forecast?"

Me: "Because they're pretty great."

Additional backstory: I will be a dad of 2 in less than a month.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alpineracer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2016
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Said at every sushi restaurant ever...

Dad: Do you know what the Japanese weather forecast is?

Chilly today, hot tamago!

Alternatively at Mexican restaurants: Chilly today, hot tamale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ccab
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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My wife asked me what the weather forecast for Christmas was.

I told her, "It looks like reindeer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dwoo888
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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Did you hear the weather forecast in Mexico?

Chili today, hot tamale!

-Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirjubs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2013
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