Why did the mathematician go to the Otolaryngologist (ear nose throat doctor/surgeon)?
He was having problems with his sin(x)s
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︎ Jan 17 2021
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory
I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Why did the ear of corn call the cops?
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Why did the ear itchiness keep coming back after being scratched?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Did you hear the one about the guy with the pickle in his ear?
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︎ Oct 11 2020
A slate came off the roof and sliced a builders ear off.
We all looked for the ear so we could take it to hospital to get it sewn on.
Whats this here. And shows us a bloody ear.
The builder said i dont know whos that ear is its not mine.
How can you tell we asked.
Cos mine had a pencil behind it!
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
My dad came up with this joke when he was little and he thinks it will go viral.
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︎ Aug 22 2020
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far
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︎ Jul 14 2020
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. βHow do you know if the dog was dead?β She asked the boy. βI know because I pissed in his ear.β The teacher looked horrified. βWhat do you mean you pissed in his ear??β
βI went up to him and went βPssstt!β in his ear and he didnβt move.β
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︎ Jun 18 2020
They say the best way to learn piano is to play by ear.
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︎ Apr 14 2020
Thought you all might enjoy the art I made for new ears eve
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︎ Jan 01 2020
What did the right ear say to the left ear?
Hey! We live on the same block.
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︎ Apr 30 2020
After making love the other night, I told my spouse that I love when the whisper sweet things in my ear...
So my spouse leaned in close and whispered..."Syrup."
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︎ Mar 07 2020
My dad goes to the doctor because he had a ringing in his ear.
The doctor says: βsir you have tinnitus.β
My dad replied: βthatβs impossible! I only have two eyes!β
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︎ Feb 28 2020
My actual dad reading the newspaper out loud "learn to play piano by ear!"
Then he mutters under his breath "I'd rather use my fingers"
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︎ Feb 26 2020
How much did it cost the pirate to pierce his ears?
A buck an ear...
...it was a real barrrrgain
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︎ Feb 07 2020
This morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door , comes back in and says both.
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︎ Jan 08 2020
A man suspected his wife was hard of hearing so he decided to do an experiment. The man snuck up behind his wife and said, βHoney, can you hear me?β No response. He went a little closer and said a little louder, βHoney, can you hear me?β Still no response. So he went right beside her ear, yelling,
βHoney, can you hear me!?β She turned around and shouted, βFor the third time, yes I can hear you!β
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︎ Sep 13 2019
One ear of corn says to the other, βI think I have a stalker.β
The other corn replies, βThats amaizing! Is he cute?β
The ear replies, βNo, too husky!β
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︎ Jan 17 2020
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?
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︎ May 04 2019
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
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︎ Aug 29 2019
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
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︎ Nov 10 2019
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus
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︎ Nov 08 2019
A man goes to the Doctor with a banana in one ear, a carrot in the other ear and a cucumber up his nose. βWhatβs wrong with me doc?β He asks ...
βItβs easy, you just not eating properlyβ the doctors replies.
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Did you hear about the pirates who started the ear piercing shop?
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︎ Sep 12 2019
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
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︎ Aug 14 2019
I went to the doctor and told him I couldn't hear through one ear..
Doc: "Are you sure?"
Me: "...I'm Definite."
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︎ Nov 21 2018
A man walks into a doctor's office with celery in one ear, peas in the other, and a carrot up each nostril, and says "Doc, I don't feel well". The doctor replies "It's because you aren't eating right."
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︎ Jul 20 2019
What did the shy ear of corn say after he was complemented?
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︎ Apr 12 2019
I've never seen the inside of my ear, but I've heard good things
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︎ Jan 22 2019
Did you guys already hear the joke about the man with peanuts in his ears?
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︎ Jan 27 2019
The majestic unicorn. Look at those ears!
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︎ Feb 15 2017
How much did it cost the pirate to get his ears pierced?
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︎ Oct 10 2017
According to my wife's pregnancy app, our unborn child is the size of an ear of corn.
"A-maize-ing!" I exclaimed.
I was asked to stop laughing because I was "causing a scene."
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︎ Sep 02 2017
Did I ever tell you about the guy milking a cow? A fly flew into the cowβs ear, and a few seconds later, him milked out the fly!
But ya know what they say, in one ear, out the udder
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︎ Jun 18 2018
What type of goat that has floppy ears and becomes an amateur on using the internet?
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︎ Oct 03 2018
There was an invention of ear jewellery that resembled the number 3.14...
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︎ Jun 12 2018
One of my colleagues asked, "Do you play the piano by ear?"
Another colleague in the room replied, "No, Lisa. He uses his fingers. Gotta pay attention."
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︎ Apr 25 2018
My little brother sat down at dinner after getting his ear pierced for the first time...
No one notices for a minute or two until my dad catches sight of it.
"Oh H! You got a bit of metal in your ear."
Mum starts fussing straight away but quickly calms down.
"Where'd you get it done?" She asks.
Without skipping a beat dad says.
"In his left ear"
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︎ Jan 25 2014
What did Cool Bear say to the bear without ears?
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︎ Nov 26 2017
In one ear and out the other
Me: -Talking on the phone-
Dad: "That better not be one of those sex hotlines"
Me: "It's not, why"?
Dad: "I don't want you to get hearing aids".
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︎ Apr 28 2014
When you put a shell to your ear you can hear the ocean
I think I'm just hearing in between channels
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︎ Feb 19 2018
How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced?
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︎ Nov 03 2019
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
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︎ Sep 29 2019
What did the ear of corn say when all of his clothes fell off?
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︎ Oct 21 2018
How much does it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced?
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︎ Aug 12 2018
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