The Complex Puns

Because they were not tenants.

Pair of dice, LOST.

.. Would they be called Kenny Log Inns?

He could never bring himself to see a shrink.

Umami!

Get off me homes!

Nobody like high maintenance women.

It's fore stories.

An Al Gore-rhythm

Me, "how much water are they gonna put in there!? You can't even read the footage!"

Friend's sister, "you don't read footage, you watch it."

He’d walk from one area to the next, telling stories and jokes which built upon each other. Week after week, he kept the line workers entertained with his complex jokes. One day, he was fired when he forgot the hole punch line.

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualisticbird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

He went to the psychiatrist and he discovered it was more than just a fear. He has a complex complex complex complex

The Doctor sent him to a specialised centre.. It was the complex complex complex complex complex.

Unfortunately, it was an over-engineered building. Yes, it was a complex complex complex complex complex complex.

1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity

2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one

3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.

The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.

A solid 10, complex and negative half the time.

They make cookies, brownies, scones, the works. But my buddy acts a bit odd around them. He never touches edibles made by his father, and he will only eat edibles made by his mother.

I think he has an edible complex.

He was working on angle measures, and had just been learning how to calculate measures for more complex quadrilaterals.

While doing his homework, I hear him from across the room groan and say quite loudly "Why can't they just be squares?!"

So I entered the room to see what was up. Deciding to be the dad I am, I said; "I take it everything's not all right?"

He was writing a complex problem onto the board, then stopped and said: "I will write a trick on this exercise, pay attention." Then he literally wrote TRICK onto the board.

This was one of her favorite jokes she loved to tell: One day, a man was walking home after a long day at work. As he waited for a crosswalk signal, he glanced back and noticed a coffin standing down the block. "Odd," he thought, but he ignored it and continued home. He turned the corner and managed to catch a glimpse of the coffin again. This time is was closer to him... like it was following him. He picked up his pace and ran into his apartment complex. The coffin was right behind him. In a fright, he dashed up the stairs to his place, locked the door and barricaded himself in the bathroom. Thud, thud, thud! The coffin was banging on the bathroom door. The man frantically looked for something to defend himself. Just as the coffin busted through the door, the man grabbed some cough syrup from the medicine cabinet, threw it at the coffin ... and the coffin stopped.

A coworker of mine was discussing an interesting problem that involved a complex graph. He showed me this graph on the computer but then I said I couldn't see it. He then said "Is this better?" to which I replied "Ahh...the plot thickens..." He walked away without saying a word

In our apartment complex they are remodeling the stairway. They have been trying to put up this dry wall but keep taking it down due to the poor cuts. However, one day I came home to discover the wall successfully installed! Texted my GF and the following happened. Me: "Hey they finally finished the stairs." Her: "I guess they are really stepping up their game."

I am so proud of her. She will make a great dad.

So I work at an apartment complex, and one of our floor plans is called the "Butterflyweed".

Co-Worker: "I'll be right back, I'm gonna go do the Butterflyweed" Me: "Don't do it! I hear Butterflyweed is a gateway floorplan".
Co-Worker: groan...

(Me and co-worker discussing him moving into my apartment complex this weekend)

Me: Well are you sure you can mount a TV on it? One of the largest walls in my living room is poured in place concrete. Can't hang anything on it.

Him: Yea i checked its a stud wall. I just need to go out and get a stud finder.

Me: Just come over and borrow mine if you'd like.

Him: Actually I should probably just use [my wife], she's pretty good at finding studs.

queue: groans from myself and all surrounding co-workers

"One of the most complex books I've ever read was 'Under a Bridge with Dick and Harry.' You've probably heard of it. It started out with aardvark and I only got to....ummm... Nanotubes? Or was it nanometer? Anyway that's when I realized I was actually reading 'Unabridged Dictionary.'"

I get up too early to drive my wife to work everyday, and this morning I bumped into the hallway of our apartment complex as we walked to the staircase...

Wife: "Make sure you open your eyes before you get to the stairs."

Me: "Don't worry; I always have my eyes open when I stare."