Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?
It's called carbon dating.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
How does a chemist come out of the closet?
-"mom, dad, im made of gallium and yttrium"
-"what?"
-"im GaY"
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Two chemists walk into a bar. "I'll have H2O," says the first. "I'll have H2O, too," says the second.
The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
What did the chemist say when they found two new isotopes of helium?
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︎ Aug 10 2020
How to tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
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︎ Apr 28 2019
The chemist who created the periodic table was stumped during his process of developing the table. Suddenly, he realized:
He was missing a key element the whole time
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︎ May 12 2020
Did you hear about the chemist who died?
Not even the best doctors could Helium.
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︎ Jan 16 2020
Did you hear about the chemist who was arrested?
He threw sodium chloride at his wife, that's a salt.
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︎ May 29 2018
What's the difference between a chemist and plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized."
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︎ Dec 01 2019
So I accidentally killed a chemist the other day.
I asked my friend what to do. he said, "Just barium before the coppers catch us."
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︎ Oct 24 2019
What did the chemist say after being tired of living a life full of sins?
"I must acetone for my sins"
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︎ Dec 08 2019
What do chemists do with the dead?
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︎ Mar 25 2019
Kids can become chemists after the primary schooling
Cuz they have the necessary ELEMENTARY education.
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︎ Jan 11 2019
Paul the chemist makes a bad pun
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︎ Mar 26 2019
What did tree did the chemist plant in her garden?
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︎ May 23 2019
Where does the chemist occasionally have dinner?
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︎ Apr 28 2019
My dad the chemist
Text message transcript follows
Me: Running a little late, I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dad: potassium
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︎ Mar 10 2017
Clumsy chemists are the best DJβs
Theyβre really great at dropping the base
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︎ Apr 10 2019
I am a Chemist, and the girl Iβm seeing is an archeologist.
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︎ Feb 08 2019
Why did the chemist die after eating a Pb&J?
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︎ Nov 07 2018
[OC] Did you hear about the chemist who was arrested for making a pair of electrochemical cells?
He was charged with a salt and battery.
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︎ Aug 04 2018
Did anyone hear about the chemist who died??
Yeah, they had to barium.
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︎ Jul 12 2015
Why did the chemist's pants keep taking off?
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︎ Dec 27 2017
Why was the chemist working on his glutes?
He wanted to get his acetoned.
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︎ Aug 11 2017
What did the chemist think of Israel?
He believed in a two state solution.
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︎ Jan 20 2016
I hate when non-chemist argue about the corrosiveness of acids
They're such baseless arguments
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︎ Jun 28 2016
Why does chemists make the best DJs?
Because they sure know how to drop the base.
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︎ Jan 14 2016
What did the chemist say to the dentist?
Nitrogen is no laughing matter.
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︎ Sep 13 2016
What did the chemist say when he dropped a bar of gold on his foot?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce unionized.
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︎ Jul 13 2019
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
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︎ Jul 19 2019
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce unionized
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︎ Oct 03 2019
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to say 'unionized'
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︎ May 12 2019
Why does the table of the chemist sometime disappears?
Because it's a periodic table.
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︎ May 29 2018
What did the chemist say when he dropped a gold ingot on his foot?
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︎ Nov 07 2018
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