Two men were caught in a severe storm

John saw a tornado out the window of Frank’s house and said to Frank

β€œJesus man! that’s an F5! We gotta get to cover Frank!”

Tornado rapidly approaches within 100 yards

John was looking for the cellar door and found 2 different ones

β€œFor Fuck’s sake Frank which is the best cellar!?”

With the tornado bearing down on them, Frank sprang into action and grabbed the latest James Patterson novel.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/dudemansick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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I’m sad to see my biography of Josef Fritzl...

Hasn’t made any of the best cellar lists.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/SR21-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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So a guy walks into a bar, and um....

He gets his drink. The bartender shouts, β€œthe wolves are coming!” They go to the cellar. The bartender says it’s ok now. The guy sees his drink is gone. He gets another one. The bartender says it again. And he is getting suspicious. When the drink is gone again, he gets mad. He gets another one. The bartender says, β€œthe wolves are coming!” The guy says he’s staying there. The bartender says,”you’like be sorry.” The guy says β€œyeah, right.” The wolves come in. They eat him. And theeeen they drink his drink.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonGreenTaxi56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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Im writing a book about basements

I hope it makes the New York Times Best Cellars list.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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The sleeper agent dad

My family and I were out for brunch at a somewhat fancy hotel restaurant. It was a buffet and they had set up the desserts in the wine cellar/room.

My dad, nearing the end of his meal, asks "Where's the dessert?"

I point and say, "In the wine cellar" but in between the cellar and me is my mom and it looks like I'm pointing to her.

Dad responds with, "Sell her? I still need her though."

I sat there a little awestruck since he's never really been one to utter puns. I crack them all the time but I guess every dad has dad jokes in them; they're just waiting for the right time.

πŸ‘︎ 732
πŸ‘€︎ u/tunzor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
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A collection of my fathers best.

I was showing my dad some pictures from my trip to Europe. He saw a picture of a rock covered with moss and said, "I'm lichen that!"

For Christmas dinner we were having ham. The plate of carved ham was between my dad and I. Someone asked where the plate went. My dad says,"We're hoggin' it."

There was a store in my home town called carols cedar cellar. It was damaged in a flood and they knocked the building down exposing the basement. We drive by and my dad says,"Now you can cedar cellar."

I have so much to learn.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ‘€︎ u/roostermathis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2015
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When his son kept complaining that his bedtime was unfair, where did the sommelier send him to timeout?

The whine cellar

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/davidjayhawk
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
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Dad's perspective on life.

I asked my dad to keep my bike in the shed so when I go for rides it is easily accessible. He puts it in the shed. I cut my leg bringing it up from the cellar/crawl space.

Me: Dad, why did you put my bike in the cellar, I always fall up the stairs and its awkward bringing it out there. Dad: Why does it matter? Me: I always hurt myself and its hard bringing out of that shitty place! Dad: Well son, Life's like a penis. Sometimes its hard.

Gets me every time.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ‘€︎ u/dhalla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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Dad asked for bar recommendations

My dad is visiting the city I live next week and asked me for some recommendations. I said there is one bar that I really like that is very dimly lit and has stone walls, so I recommended it but said in a lack of being able to think of a better adjective, that it was kinda "cellar-y". He said thanks, but he prefers his bar experiences to be more carroty.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheese_incarnate
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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